<p>Look at the root causes as to why you feel uncomfortable when you’re alone. Are you uncomfortable with silence or do you think that people will judge you for being alone when you could be with others, or what? There’s nothing wrong with being alone; I felt similarly the first week but then I remembered who I really was–I prefer being alone, it’s when I feel most alive, I don’t need social moments to share happiness (although I can appreciate them when they’re set up correctly), and I definitely don’t need others to validate my social life.</p>
<p>It really is a you thing; people are not social creatures, we’re just bred to be that way through 12 years of state education and megalomaniacal parenting that both place negative values on being alone. Get past your upbringing.</p>
<p>I moved 6 hours away from home to start college, with no friends or family in the area (I literally knew nobody).</p>
<p>In orientation I was told I would feel like that for a good 6 months…and I did.</p>
<p>Now after 8 months of living here, I am only just starting to feel at home. </p>
<p>Really, it is just going to take time. Its a pretty big ajustment (especially if you have not had many in life) and if you are aware of the fact, it will be much better.
Try and get involved in lots of things on campus and literally finding ways to consume your time.
If you feel you really need to go home…I would, as I did a bit in my first semester. But I would only go if you feel you really need to, just for mental health. It may be better to stay on campus and develop friendships and activities if you feel you can stay…</p>
<p>That said, the most important thing is just to give it time, its only been a month…and as for me, Im having the time of my life now.</p>
<p>Well, let me explain how I feel after a month at college and see if it compares. I live only 30 minutes away, and go home most weekends. No, I’m not homesick anymore. This entire week went by without me once thinking “man, I wish I was at home” or “i wish i could just go home now”, like I did the first couple weeks. The feeling is just weird. Yes, 95% of the time I’m uncomfortable as well. The kids on my hall are generally nice, but I’m pretty much tired of all of them already. I have fun hanging out with them for like an hour a day max, then I’m tired of them, or annoyed may be the better term. I love the campus, my classes are great, I wouldn’t trade attending this school for anything. I just don’t feel comfortable living in these dorms. Maybe apartment living would be better with more privacy, but that wasn’t an option for first year students. My only other option is to commute from home, which I would like, but 1) I AM glad i’m experiencing dorm life just to say I did, and 2) I don’t want to “abandon” my hallmates (or rather I do not want them to think I’m a ■■■■■ for leaving).
I can deal with living here most of the time. I just go about my own business. But, of course, with the limitations of privacy and constant interruptions, it can be hard and is actually wearing on me. Sleep I can’t really complain about because I’m getting as much as I did in highschool.
There are large portions of my day when I’m stressed out just being here. I don’t want the stress to get the better of me. I would love to be able to say “I love it here”, but we’ll see.</p>
<p>I definitely know that this type of adjustment takes a long time - I’ve never moved and went to the same small school from first grade through twelfth. It has really been scary leaving home and starting a whole new life - it was something that I’ve never anticipated. </p>
<p>Right now, I just have to take things day by day and week by week. If I think of myself living in here in the spring, sometimes I do get nervous. I just wonder sometimes, “so this really is what my life is going to be like?” It’s usually in the mornings when I wake up and realize that I’m not at home. </p>
<p>The best method for coping has been to keep myself busy. I’ve join several clubs, but not so many that it gets overwhelming. I’m on a club sports team, which has probably been my saving grace. The team keeps me busy 4 days a week and offers a lot of good social opportunities to get to know more people. When I’m busy (going to meet a friend, or struggling through work), I’m fine. But, there’s always one point during the day when I feel really uncomfortable and some days this feeling lasts more than others.</p>
<p>Everyone’s experiences have been really helpful! Thank you so much - they’ve really helped me put things in perspective!</p>
<p>Sailingaway, your feeling sound exactly like mine. Thanks for coming here and talking about it. Another thing I guess you can realize is… it is only 4 years. Imagine getting stuck in prison for 20 years. And 4 years of your life, no matter how bad it is, jeez, you’ll be able to look back and say ‘man that went fast’. It’s just the ‘taking it day by day’ thing that you HAVE to do makes it seem like it takes longer. :)</p>
<p>I’m a senior now… but it feels like my freshman year just keeps repeating. I made the worst mistake a freshman could make, as in I decided to continue to dating my high school girlfriend who was a year behind me. She was only 30 minutes away, so instead of establishing a life at the dorms I spent the weekends with her up until my sophomore year, we even had an apartment together, until we had a very unpleasant break up. She was the only person in my life, and when she wasn’t there I had nobody. I lived at home & commuted most that year until I found so me random roommate on craigslist closer to campus last year. College has been a very lonely experience for me and it’s really difficult to make new friends at such a large university during senior year. At this point, so close to the finish line, I don’t see much of a point of putting a lot of effort in the venture.</p>
<p>Etherwind, you can still talk to kids in your classes and such. But anyway, you’ve got a few months left. **** it. When you get a job you’ll have new co-workers to hang out with.</p>