Hi, I’m a freshman about to begin my second semester tomorrow, and I definitely don’t hate university, but I’m not enjoying it as much as I had anticipated or as much as other people seem to be enjoying it. First semester was fine: I wasn’t really homesick at all, I did pretty well in my classes (although not as well as I had hoped), made some friends, got along with my roommate, joined some clubs, but never really felt 100% comfortable.
I had an amazing group of very close friends in high school and pretty much knew everyone in my grade and was friends with many of them, but I find that at college it’s difficult to form close relationships - I live in a dorm but my residence isn’t very social and I am only even vaguely friends with a handful of people in my building. The friends that I spend the most time with are great people, but I really miss the deep connection I had with my high school friends. Obviously I can’t expect to have the same depth of connection with people I’ve known for 6+ years and people I’ve known for 4 months, but I feel as though the friends that I’ve made I’ve made out of convenience and a desire to not be alone, not based on compatibility. I’ve tried joining clubs related to my interests but these seem to initiate only casual acquaintances, not close friends. In general I’m a pretty independent person and don’t need to be with people 24/7, but my biggest concern is finding a place to live next year and people to live with - lots of people are signing leases and I haven’t even decided who I’ll be living with or began looking for places.
I get along with my roommate and we’ve had no major conflicts but, even after 4 months of living together I still don’t feel completely comfortable when she’s in the room, and find myself becoming anxious when I hear her in the hall or know that her schedule dictates she’ll probably be home soon. I feel as though I have to be vigilant of my behaviour 24/7 and that I can never truly relax or completely be myself. I know this is completely irrational: I like my roommate and we get along, but I guess I just miss the privacy and complete comfort of having a space to myself.
My grades were fine last semester but not as good as I had hoped they would be - finals took me by surprise as being much harder than midterms so my grades dropped a bit overall, and I’m definitely feeling some of the pressure of attending a relatively rigorous school, but I’m hoping that the study habits I gained last semester will serve me well and I can be better prepared for finals this term.
All of these “things” were present last semester, but I managed to resolve my worries first with the excitement of frosh week and the novelty of beginning college, then by reassuring myself that the year had just begun and I had lots of time to figure stuff out, and later hiding them with the anticipation of winter break and by focusing my energy on studying for finals, and in general I was pretty content (I actually only cried twice last semester which is vey strange as I normally cry literally all the time). But the last few days of winter break, and especially today as I just returned to school, I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed and anxious about the above issues and kind of suffocated by the thought of starting all over again with a new semester. This is compounded by the cold, dreary weather and short days of this time of year. I know that I don’t want to drop out and I know that I don’t want to transfer, I’m not actually sure what I want to do or what I expect posting on this forum will do for me. I guess I’m just looking for a reassurance that these feelings are normal and that others have gone through the same issues, and maybe some advice on what to do to cope with or resolve some of these issues.
Thanks so much
First of all, deep breath. What you are describing is completely normal and all part of the process of the push me pull me of leaving the safety and security of home/family/friends etc and taking those steps toward moving into adulthood. It is scary and it is exciting, and it is overwhelming.
It does sound like you want to be in college. That’s a good thing to acknowledge. Before you left for college you were full of anticipation and all of the notions that everyone has about what college is going to be like. Now you have been there for a semester and you know the reality of what you are facing. Moving to a new place and going to college is HARD! No doubt some things are better than you expected and some things are not at all what you expected, and you are trying to achieve your balance and your place.
Wanting to be in college and at the college you are attending is a great place to start. What is so overwhelming is that you are trying to grapple with all of the issues that you are struggling with all at once. I would suggest taking your message above and breaking it down. Work out a plan of how you might tackle each issue (even if it is just a little note on a post-it for each one–nothing elaborate), then stack them and tackle each one at a time, even days or weeks apart as timelines allow.
First and foremost, you are at college to earn a degree and that is the biggest ball that you have to keep your eye on. Keeping that ball in play should remain your priority and it sounds like you are doing that.
You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate. Deeper friendships with others do take time and you are taking steps to put yourself in places where that is more likely to happen.
There must be resources on your campus for tackling the housing for next year issue, try to see if you can find them.
Hang in there, cry a little (you are allowed to grieve the end of childhood), then do what you can to move forward little by little. You can do this!
Paragraph breaks are good. 
@NorthernMom61 has a lot of good suggestions. I’d say talk to those people you are hanging out with about rooming together. If that doesn’t work out, does your college have interest based housing or co-op housing? They can be good places to make new friends even if you come in without a roommate.
If all else fails re: housing, maybe you could get a single room. I did my two years of penance with random roommates and now I have a room to myself and it’s awesome.
Honestly having a crappy roommate is sort of a rite of passage for college (so is “feeling uncomfortable” as a matter of fact). This is college - it’s no longer easy to just escape a difficult situation by requesting a single room (or the equivalent of this for other situations). Life doesn’t work like that. Who doesn’t want a single? But honestly you’re just gonna have to learn to adapt.
Also if your roommate is in the room too much, that could get annoying real fast. Talk about setting times where both of you can have the room to yourself for some privacy.
Not to be dismissive, but if these are the worst of your problems as a new college student, I think you are having a reasonably successful first year.