<p>A guy I work with said “I allocated $10,000 per year for each child, and if they wanted to go somewhere more expensive, they paid the rest. If they wanted to go to this college for free (and one of six did), I gave them the $10,000 per year to do with as they’d like.”</p>
<p>But personally it depends on the child. If I can afford to fully pay for each of my three kids, why would I offer one extra money? But if one needed money, let’s say a campus where a car is required or public transportation is required, why not provide it?</p>
<p>I would not consider personality traits when deciding how much to give kids for college, unless someone truly thinks the “social butterfly” will end up somewhere expensive just because and fail out. An alternative is to have them both go to community college first to show their abilities, then go to a four-year school.</p>
<p>My father has contributed more or less to each of us four kids. One kid started a business and failed, probably cost my parents over $500,000. The rest of us have ended up with $100,000 or so in dribs and drabs ($2,000 for a new car down payment, $5,000 if someone was out of work). Are we going to beat up my brother who was dumb enough to start a business and fail at it? No, it was up to my dad. He owes none of us anything and it was his choice to do more.</p>
<p>From a parent’s perspective, look at the need and whether you can afford it AND whether you think it will be appreciated. The worse you can do is make it clear that you can financially afford “anything” because some people will take take take and will NOT do well when they are the person paying the bills.</p>
<p>BusDriver11 – you are correct; my post at #77 is my general thinking about the value of transparency, and of projecting a dollar amount. It’s not an illustration of the situation that prompted me to post.</p>
<p>In terms of exact amounts and how costs vary from year to year, the kids have to become acquainted with what business owners understand – when you’re planning several years out into the future, you make projections, and then you hone in on more exact numbers as you get real data, closer to the target date. You use round numbers at first. You might also compare apples to apples by comparing things on the basis of what they cost today, although the second one to come through the pipeline will always pay more. There’s also that much more time for appreciation on any early money. The family might plan to absorb the upward trend in pricing, over time, and tell both kids to think in terms of a budget that would be “$x today”.</p>
<p>Yes, kids should know how much stuff costs (and even better, how much “adult labor” is required to pay for it. Amazing how even smart, college bound kids think someone who makes $100K per year gets to take that home. So showing your kids a hypothetical paycheck at certain salary levels- taxes, all the other deductions, quite an eye opener!).</p>
<p>But check the current thread on the miserable young woman at Pepperdine who went there because it was cheap, and the dozens of other threads every year from kids or parents who made a “value” choice (which is great) without considering if the school or program or academic offerings were a fit… and then you have the underside of using price tag as the primary sorting device. If your kid ends up taking an extra year because the first school was a miserable decision and their credits won’t transfer, or the first school doesn’t have the right course of study, or they want a direct admission into a specialized program so have to re-do Freshman year… well, in most cases, an extra year is costing real money without the benefit on any Merit awards and most likely is coming right out of the bank of mom and dad.</p>
<p>So yes- financial disclosure. How much the parents are prepared and able to pay. What kind of loans and work/study the student needs to be able to contribute. How long it will take to pay those loans back, and what kind of lifestyle trade-offs that will mean (i.e taking the bus and not owning a car; roommates for 8 years after graduating, making pot luck suppers for entertaining vs. all the glamorous nights in bars kids see on TV shows about young grads, etc.) All of this is important.</p>
<p>But it’s also important to consider non-financial aspects. Sometimes the full ride or the cheap college or the “much less than sticker price” is just fundamentally a bad choice.</p>
<p>Situations like this probably occur because when the student made the application list, s/he did not put much thought into choosing a safety that s/he actually liked. Then, when it became the only affordable choice in April, s/he attends and does not like it.</p>
<p>The safety is the most important school on the application list. Students should put as much as, or more, thought into selecting the safety as they put into selecting other schools for the application list.</p>
<p>To me, having a $5000 more per year is not that much difference. Yes it is different to the person paying but to a sibling, it isn’t that different. You go to a CC and I go to LAC? that is different. I go to in state U and you go full freight to Ivy League? But I go to state school A and you go to state school B?</p>
<p>I have two brothers and my dad paid for my college. My older brother did not pursue college. My younger one went to DeVry for a while and my dad paid that. I was the only one who went to a 4 year University. Is that fair? It is fair in that they would have gotten theirs paid for too had they gone.</p>
<p>We have 2 kids at top 20 schools for $240,000 each. We don’t qualify for financial aid. </p>
<p>We told the kids that we did not plan to pay for graduate school. But, any scholarship money they earned for undergrad, we would set aside half for them to use for grad school, if they should attend. It is not their money, or a ‘gift’, or to use for anything else. Just grad school if they should need it.</p>
<p>One kid got a full tuition scholarship worth $180,000, so room & board & expenses will cost us $60,000. We will give him up to $90,000 for grad school, if he needs it. He says he would like to get funded for grad school and hopefully not need the $90,000.</p>
<p>The other kid turned down a half-tuition scholarship in order to attend a school at full pay which is a better match for his major and is a slightly better school overall. Since we are paying the full $240,000 for undergrad, we aren’t planning to help him with grad school in a substantial way. We may give him a little to help, but grad school will be on his own dime.</p>
<p>What do you think would be ‘fair’ to give the kid without any scholarship towards grad school? We agree with the decision he made to attend the school he chose. The kid with the scholarship ended up at one of his favorite schools, so he did not sacrifice anything in choosing the scholarship school. Thanks for your opinion.</p>