<p>So I’m a northerner that got a scholarship at Alabama, loved it when I visited, and am going. I decided to rush because I figured I might want to join a sorority and didn’t want to close that option off. The issue I’m having is that I’ve registered and everything, but I didn’t know letters of reccommendation were so important. Both me and my mom (who was never in a sorority, much less a southern one) figured that they were just for girls who had their hearts set on a certain sorority and have some sort of connection. So I didn’t send in any, much less the 2 per sorority that is reccommended. Since rushing starts in less than 2 weeks, it’s definitely too late for me to find them now. I was just wondering what my chances will be rushing. Like, will I be cut by almost everyone right away, will it hurt me but not automatically cause me to be cut, etc. I have a GPA of around 3.8 and am not unattractive; I sent my headshot and transcript in with my registration, but not to individual sororities.</p>
<p>I won’t lie…recs are very important and not having then does put you at a disadvantage… When you registered and uploaded your pic did you also upload a copy of your resume? this information does get sent to the sororities but how they choose to use it varies from house to house.
No one can tell you who will cut you and who will invite you back to Philanthropy round. The recs that are sent in are looked at and used as a pre-rate score for PNMs who are going through recruitment. What I mean is that each girl is given a score based on a set of criteria determined by the sorority. Obviously, each sorority has their own set of criteria. Usually there are some common threads, but this is not shared from sorority to sorority. That pre-rate score is the number that a PNM starts out with on day 1 of Ice Water Teas. IF you do not have a rec in then you don’t have a score and you start at zero…so yes…not having a rec means you start at a disadvantage.
Also a rec gives the sorority a heads up that you are coming through. After looking at your rec IF the sorority determines that you are a girl who they are highly interested in then they will make an extra effort to have certain girls pick you up at the door, the members will memorize your picture, your stats ect.
I also need to throw in the fact that some sororities already have their bid lists chosen (and some have since spring)…based on already known incoming girls who are known to members already in house.
I have known girls who swear that they didn’t have a rec for a house and received a bid…it happens…rarely…but it does happen. In most cases if a sorority is interested in a PNM that they don’t have a rec for they will call an alum (my husband dislikes this time of year…our phone tends to ring a lot) and ask her to write one.
I think the important things for you to remember are these…go through this process with an open mind, know that you are at a disadvantage for not having recs and accept that you will be released by some houses because of this (remember that it’s not that you have not be recommended but rather that with 2000 girls going through you are just not as “well known” as other girls). You need to embrace the sororities that do invite you back, keep an open mind to what each has to offer, and maximize your options. Remember that if this doesn’t work out for you there is always the possibility that several houses will do spring COB and then there’s always next year. Alabama always has a pretty decent amount of sophomores go through and some do receive bids. If you are released find clubs and organizations to get involved in…make friends and connections.
I wish I could tell you for a fact that you would receive a bid or be released by all but there just is no way of knowing that. Not having recs will hurt you…but it only takes 1 houses…remember that. I know a very sweet girl who went through last year and had the odds stacked against her (GPA issues, OOS, she did have recs but she was a sophomore transfer student from the north…no greek affiliations). She was released by every house but 1 after Ice Water Teas but she carried that house the whole week and received a bid. It does happen. Good luck!</p>
<p>Hi there I followed these posts last year when my daughter was going through. Relax and have a great time. We were from OOS state as well. And like the posts above they are important. But don’t take yourself out of the game before it even starts. You may experience cuts in the beginning, but that’s okay. In a recruitment this large rarely does someone not get cut from a house they loved. Just look at each invitational round as a new day. Smile smile smile! A great attitude towards the houses you are at speaks volumes above something on paper! Have a great time and enjoy meeting all the new people. My daughter met some of her closest friends in her recruitment group, even though they pledged different houses.</p>
<p>There is also the Christian sorority which rushes a few weeks later. Their process is different. They are a wonderful group of girls who you may also want to think about if you don’t get a bid.</p>
<p>DD (from Pennsylvania) rushed last year. Had a few recs but not many and got dropped quickly by all the sororities with whom she had recs. Go figure. She had 3 invitations to pref night and got a bid from a great house and had a fabulous freshman year. You will be fine. Go – Have a great time-- show your best personality — and Roll Tide</p>
<p>bluehen, I was going to post that yesterday while in Tuscaloosa we saw a certain vehicle with OOS tags, Penn, with their sorority letters on the back window. </p>
<p>If that was your D, she was driving just fine down McFarland in all the traffic ;)</p>
<p>It may be too late to get recs to all the houses, but why not ask around? At the very least, post something on your Facebook page about needing recs, and your mom can do the same. Have a resume ready for people who respond - your name, address, parents’ names, high school, GPA, activities, clubs, sports, honors, church groups, work experience.</p>
<p>Alpha Delta Chi is the Christian sorority that rushes later…as does another group, Sigma Delta Tau, which is a former Jewish sorority that now accepts members of all faiths and backgrounds. Sigma Lambda Gamma is a multi-cultural sorority. And the venerable NPHC sororities hold a convocation later in the semester for those interested.</p>
<p>Best of luck finding your place!</p>
<p>An alert for all the moms of PNMs: tomorrow and Thursday are Skit Days, the third round.
Be aware that this is the time for HUGE cuts by the sororities. It may not seem like going from 12 to 8 sororities is a big deal, but the sororities must REALLY whittle down their lists.</p>
<p>Remind your DD that she still has X number left, and to concentrate on those. Releases are not personal…a sorority may adore your girl, but they need different types of members to round out and fill their membership.</p>
<p>Encourage her to keep going if she has a group left - they may be the perfect one for her all along.</p>
<p>Southlander- Thanks for posting this! This week has been an interesting one with many girls not getting the full party cards that they expected or that we have seen in the past. Typically after Ice Water Teas a majority of the cuts are GPA related and yet we did see many girls with 9 and 10 houses. You are right about the cuts after Philanthropy…HUGE is s good word . Remember that after Philanthropy legacies can be released if a sorority chooses to do so. In many cases houses are encouraged to do this if they feel that the legacy is not a fit for their house. It gives the legacy the opportunity to then focus on houses where she may be a better fit.
MSS went late into the night for some chapters (my last phone call was at 12:45 am!). Southlander is correct, not asking a girl to return for the next round of parties is not personal (I know it feels like it is). I know last night that members struggled when trying to whittle down their lists. Just like your girls have their favorites many members are developing connections with PNMs. While several members may love a PNM it takes more than that to pull a girl in.
Also remember that houses she “dropped” can come back up. Encourage her to give these houses another look. There are no pity invites. They wanted her to return!
Good luck this morning! I know many girls going through the process this year and my thoughts and prayers are with you all!</p>
<p>I cannot wait to hear back from my daughter today. She got 12 on the first round and has not a clue how/why!! She does have 8 that she liked and listed them all last night but does not have a “I must get in this house or I will die” favorite. She likes them all and has gone in with a totally open mind.
I just feel so badly for the girls that got phone calls last night.</p>
<p>@TxNewCollegeMom Was that car a silver Honda Civic? Could have been my DD :)</p>
<p>Need help advising my DD! </p>
<p>There are 2 houses that she cut after both Ice Water Teas and Philanthropy that keep getting added back to her list. She kept an open mind, but even after the Philanthropy round she was sure that she would not be a good fit in either house. Much to her chagrin both houses got added back for the Skit round. She feels bad because she knows there are other girls that would want to be invited back to these houses. </p>
<p>What should she do when she has to make her list tomorrow after Skits? I don’t think she would accept a bid from either of these houses and she doesn’t want to take a spot away from another girl who would be eager to be invited back for Preference.</p>
<p>Is there a way for her to permanently drop those houses after the skit round? Is ranking done differently after Skits? </p>
<p>Greek Chic states “Only PNM who maximize their options and list ALL of the chapters they attended during the Preference Round are guaranteed to receive a bid for membership…” </p>
<p>She was told she had to maximize all of her options during each round for this to apply. So would dropping these after Skits impact her chances of being guaranteed a bid for the other houses that she may be invited to attend for Preference?</p>
<p>She was invited back to 8 houses for Skits, and she’s fairly confident she would get invites for the Preference round even without these 2 houses.</p>
<p>2017mom, the protocol for the next round is the same: your DD will list her top 3, and then rank her remaining choices. She will need to attend and rank all houses she is invited to for pref to be sure of a bid. Tell DD to keep an open mind, and continue the process through to the end. Pref has a way of changing minds. When my DD went through, she re ranked her houses after pref. The releases after skit will be HUGE! If your DD attends pref, she is somewhere on the bid list for that house. My DD got her second choice, like I said, she made changes on pref night. She loves her house and her sisters. It’s the perfect house for her. It was not her first choice all week. Hang in there!!!</p>
<p>Forgot to add: Tell DD not to worry about the other girls, the system is designed to work for all who maximize options. Your daughter attending a party or not will not have a bearing on another girl’s rush. It matters more where a girl is on the sororities’ list.</p>
<p>I would echo that you should be prepared for more releases. While Panhellenic tells each house how many they can invite back AND that number is different for every house the truth is that they need to get down to a much lower number. Those houses that have a smaller return rate percentage have been carrying a larger amount of girls ( and will do so for Pref as well). Girls…list every house…if you receive a bid to a house that you do not wish to accept then you will have to make that decision at that time but you really need to do all you can to give yourself the best chance. Catfan is right…what your daughter does will not impact others. I would also tell you to be prepared that there is the possibility that your DD may get her second or third choice…it does happen. I know that MSS went late into the night last night. I was on the phone with my chapter past midnight and spoke with DD at a little after 11 and they still weren’t done. Enjoy Skit Day…it’s my favorite…LOVE to see the different personalities of the houses shine. When it comes to Pref…listen to your heart. Pref is always an emotional day for PNMs and members. I am sure Catfan would agree since her DD is a senior like mine. Last week when they were practicing for Pref DD called sobbing…it struck her that this was her last recruitment. Those of us who have been in your shoes are thinking of you and praying for you…hang in there . the end is in sight!!</p>
<p>girls do NOT drop houses … ever.</p>
<p>they list them in order of preference with a certain number that fall in the bottom.</p>
<p>the houses she has left are the houses interested in her.</p>
<p>she needs to keep maximizing options if she wants a bid in the end. then she can choose to accept or decline the bid.</p>
<p>ahpimommy - When you say that we should be prepared for more releases after Skit days, do you mean complete releases i.e. some girls might not receive any pref invites? I’m a bit of a nervous wreck this week. I know I’m not alone. Thankfully, DD seems blissfully unaware of my worries. I’m trying to avoid all rush talk unless she initiates it. Seems to make for much longer conversations at this point. I find myself repeating a lot of what you’ve advised so thank you for sharing. I think your point about keeping an open mind to those houses that show interest in her even if they aren’t on her favorite list is so important.</p>
<p>I can’t go into numbers detail because that crosses over into membership selection but in some cases …yes…some girls will be released before Pref. We always tell our members that IF you invite a girl to Pref you have to be ready for her to potentially become a sister. SewSheKnits…since you also posted on Greek Chat I know how many hoses your DD has going into Skit and I would say it would be quite unusual for her to not have any Pref invites. I know all the mommas out there are nervous…I too walked in your shoes. To add to the stress remember that the Rho Chis will take your daughter’s phone on Friday. For me that was the the worst, especially since I was on an airplane flying to Bama!! In fact her Rho Chi took her phone BEFORE she got her Pref party card. It was a VERY long day…but in the end it had a very happy ending. 99% of the time the girls really do end up where they belong.</p>
<p>Thanks so much ahpimommy! I’ll be in the same situation…flying in on Friday hoping she’s having fun at a pref party. She is enjoying the process so that’s the only thing keeping me sane. I keep reading about nervous OOS PNM’s and I’d love to share our interesting story but I’ll save that until after Bid Day. We have been prepared for UA rush for a while but ended up throwing a twist in at the last minute. So far, it’s worked out in her favor. For now, I’ll just say that you are absolutely right when you say that the girls end up where they are meant to be.</p>
<p>I advised my DD to really look around and get a feel for not only how she feels about a house but also to try and get an idea of how they feel about her. It’s too late for me to share that kind of thing with her now. I’m really trying hard to keep my mouth shut. But does anyone have advice on how to determine who is interested in a PNM?</p>
<p>Anyway, thanks again for all of the help! I’m passing along all that I’ve learned from you all to my friends with younger daughters.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for all the advice! Rush at Alabama is so much different than what I experienced many, many years ago.</p>
<p>Thanks for the heads up on the cell phone confiscation! I’m going to go nuts here at home on Friday. I’m starting to kick myself for not planning on coming back for Bid day.</p>
<p>So far, DD says my house is her favorite and what she is judging all others by. I’m going to lose it if she ends up there on Saturday and I’m not there to see it!</p>
<p>Might need to see if I can hitch a ride from someone in Chi-town heading down to T-town on Friday!</p>