Unsure about transferring after freshmen year

I am currently a freshmen at a school in the middle of nowhere. The school is more than 5 hours away from my home and the only reason why I choose it was because I needed a change. I wasn’t happy at home, so I felt like I HAD to leave. I always wanted a friend group that I could have fun with and rely on - which is what I did not have at home.

I finally have that friend group here, however, I am not happy here. There is nothing to do at this school but drink and go to the bar…I feel like i am living in a different world where time is not passing by. I don’t have a fake (unlike everyone else here) so I sit in my room doing nothing. I know you will tell me that not everyone drinks and I should get involved on campus, however I have tried. I have joined clubs and sports, yet at 11pm everyone still goes out to the bar after their extracurriculars. I have a family of police officers so they have brainwashed me into well - not doing anything illegal. Literally everyone here goes out…some how I knew everything about this school but exactly that. I love the friends I have made here however they even go out themselves. I feel like they have a place here and I don’t. The days drag and I feel like I am not living. I came here to live, however I feel like this place isn’t what I thought it was going to be. I have severe anxiety and depression and being here is making it worse, so it would make sense to leave to deal with it at home. However, I do not want to leave these people. I have made amazing connections that I want to keep forever.

The town the school is in has nothing in it and i don’t have a car, so I feel trapped on campus. I get very anxious here because at home (which is in the NYC area) it is very different from upstate NY.

Although I know you will say that I can make friends at a different school back home and stay in touch with my college friends, I do not feel like i will have the same connection with my new friends like i have with these ones because unlike if i went to college at home, i live with these people here. Even though the logical thing is to transfer, i don’t want to regret the decision. My friends understand where I am coming from and tell me I should do whatever makes me happy, but even though I am in this wasteland I want to stay at the same time (because of them).

The college I am at now is a decent school with a ton of majors whereas the school I would transfer to isn’t looked upon as a good school, although all my credits would transfer and I still don’t have a major (it would make sense financially to do that), I don’t want to give up on this experience I have up here. I feel like I am looking for reasons to stay here even though I am miserable. I am so conflicted on what to do even though the answer seems so clear… has anyone else been in this position that can help me?

Is this Binghamton? :))

Wait! These kids are going out at 11 pm on weeknights after their ECs? When are they studying? What are their grades like? They might not even be around next semester if they don’t put some focus into their studies.

Pop by the counseling center, and set up an appointment to talk with someone about all of the stuff you wrote about. Those people are experts at helping students figure out what it is that is best for them to do.

Depression is real and if left untreated, it can make problems much worse, especially in a stressful place like a university. With anxiety and depression, change tends to be much more difficult. Some changes are so big that it can cause the illness to spiral. Alcoholism is well within reach if this gets any worse, and that would ruin your future. College is stressful enough, so it’s very good to have predictable stable surroundings so your illness doesn’t get worse. Yes, I think transferring back to NYC is a very wise choice for you.

Transferring sounds like your best option, however I’d talk to a counselor (mental health) at your current school first.

Thanks everyone. I decided that I’m going to transfer to a local school next semester. Ive been going to the counseling center but they aren’t much help. When I decided that I was going home my anxiety went away actually, whereas when I force myself in this environment it comes back. Going away to college is not for everyone.

Best of luck!