Hello everyone! Long time lurking parent of three kiddos (1 daughter (oldest), 2 sons). My daughter has graduated with her undergrad and is going to med school and my middle son is in his third year of college. Our youngest is a senior now and just finished up the application and selection process and has left me stumped far more than the other two!
Has anyone else been completely surprised by the choice their child has made for college? Our “baby” has chosen a small private school in California (which is fine), but we really thought he would choose one of the more well-known schools. He lived at a tennis academy off and on and is a very competitive tennis player and will be playing college tennis. He has choices of all three levels (DI, II, and III), but has chosen DIII because it will allow him to play on the Futures circuit for tennis during the off season, which DIII schools do allow for athletics. We visited countless schools on both coasts and he chose Whittier College. While we were very pleased with the school on our visit, their merit offer, and the location…it was just a surprise to us that he had so many amazing well-known schools to choose from and chose the one he did (mainly because we hadn’t heard much about it). We are very excited for him, but I was just wondering if anyone else was in the same boat. I also didn’t find much on it on CC. It is expensive but as I mentioned has offered a really great merit scholarship. It is a very beautiful school that is well situated outside of LA and has some great reviews (and there are always negative ones for all schools, too) and he said he just felt like it fit him and his needs. His exact words was he felt at “home”. Any feedback is appreciated! Just hoping that we aren’t the only parents that feel a little … surprised (because I don’t like the word disappointed, because we’re not…just surprised!)
Wow – interesting story. I had never heard of Whittier College and just looked it up, and it is in a beautiful location! I am sure it will be amazing for your son to go there. It sounds like he knew exactly what he was looking for, and he found it.
Choosing a college reveals all types of values and priorities, so this has opened your eyes to some of the things your son values over other things, that you didn’t realize before. Nice that you have made this discovery.
My daughter chose one of her most affordable options due to several scholarships. That was not a surprise since her dad was opposed to spending much on her university, but what has been a surprise for me is the extent to which she wants to graduate debt-free. She works part-time in two labs during the academic year, and full-time over the summer. A lot of the money she puts away in savings. She is determined to have zero debt when she graduates, and to spend as little as possible. I didn’t realize before that being debt-free and having savings was such a strong value of hers, so I have learned more about her since she started college.
I think we can just enjoy watching our children mature into their own selves, and get to know them in a new light as they reveal more of their choices in life.
I have 2 nephews whom have graduated from Whittier college and have nothing but good things to say about their experience. One was a Honors student whom also played competitive water polo for 4 years at Whittier. Kudos to your son for making a great choice for himself.
I did know a kid who picked Whittier several years ago, in part based on being able to play his sport. My daughter picked a school in large part because it allowed her to continue playing her sport. It’s a tech school and she would not have been able to afford it without the athletic scholarship. She would not have been on the team at a bigger school like GaTech or Virginia Tech (or received enough to pay for school), so this (Div 2) was a great opportunity. It has been a really good fit for her, athletically and academically.
Sounds like your son knew what he wanted and went for it. I would not have picked the school my daughter picked (picked it for ME or for her) because it is smaller and in a sleepy town, but she likes it. When we were touring schools I was not attracted to the small schools at all, but I had to put my feelings aside and let my kids pick what they liked.
Firstly, I apologize for my previous grammar (or lack there of…"his exact words were (not was) he felt at “home” stood out to me the most!)…LOL. I barely garnered up enough courage to post anything at all, but I am really glad that I did.
Thank you, @mommyrocks ! I really appreciate your words of wisdom, especially your last line!
@Gumbymom that is wonderful to hear! We really were impressed with the school overall. He wanted a very diverse school (we live in Hawaii!) that had a lot to offer academic wise, which we believe Whittier will fit the bill. Some of the best compliments I’ve read on the the school itself is about the professors and their desire to get to know each student and actually watch them grown and learn! He is definitely dedicated to his academics, but again he has been at home and not in a traditional brick and mortar school setting, so I think the smaller class size really appealed to him, as well.
@twoinanddone you are so right! I would never have picked it for him out of the choices he had!! But I am so glad that we have allowed him to go with what feels right for him. He’s an “old soul”, at least that’s what everyone says (including us!) and he is great about doing his research and making a plan!
Mahalo to you all for your input! I do truly appreciate it! I wonder why Whittier isn’t talked about more on CC?
It is a small college, relatively. I worked in Whittier for 2 years. The downtown area is cute and has some nice places to eat. It is still a ways from LA, but doable. Your son will probably enjoy being a big fish. I also liked occidental and Redlands, especially for students that were involved in athletics. Whittier, the city, got national attention cuz the mom who had 8 kids plus.
@bookworm Mahalo for that feedback! Oh my…is that where “Octomom” is from? LOL. I had no clue! He really clicked with the tennis coach and team when we visited and they have a brand new science building that is just beautiful (he will be pre-med/Biology). Again, we were really impressed! We were staying in Beverly Hills proper on our visit and it took us about 35-40 minutes to get there with little traffic that day, if I remember correctly (we were lucky!). He did look at Redlands and could have gone there, but felt Whittier was a better fit and he liked the small town and loved the walking distance to the shops and restaurants in the surrounding area.
“But I am so glad that we have allowed him to go with what feels right for him. He’s an ‘old soul,’ at least that’s what everyone says (including us!) and he is great about doing his research and making a plan!”
This. Your son reminds me of my older daughter who, coincidentally, went to a small, private university (Redlands) in California that I had never heard of before she decided to apply. She thrived. She’s been out of college for almost four years and continues to impress me with her willingness to try to achieve her goals and to not think she has to follow other people’s plans.
Whittier is a wonderful school! In keeping with its Quaker roots, it’s a place that really seems to do right by all its students. Nixon may be it’s most famous/infamous grad…
A dear friend’s daughter is there now, and she is thriving. Your son sounds like the type to bloom where planted but also like he has thought through his priorities.
Several of my friends have struggled as the kids they raised to be independent thinkers made college choices that ranged from surprising to disagreeable. You sound like you are working hard on being supportive. I hope your experience is the same as @rosered55 - people who pick their own path are generally more fulfilled.
Is it really because he wouldn’t have played in the line-up at any of the more well known schools and tennis is still important to him? I am confused by your comment regarding choosing a DIII team because of playing Futures in the off season. Most very good D1 players flood the Futures circuit during the off season, very few DIII players are out there because of the competitive level. Even the top D1 players have to be at the top of the game to succeed there. It sounds like he found a school where he can maximize his playing experience by being a part of the team.
@blueskies2day that is a great question, actually! He was offered singles spots in DI and II (not first singles, but down the line-up). He is sponsored by Wilson and an Aussie clothing company. so he knows he can get a “spot” in the I and II line-ups, but I think you may have hit the nail on the head with the playing time, though. He definitely didn’t see as much playing time with the DI schools, at least not initially. Tennis is definitely very important to him and he has given up pretty much his entire high school life for it (his choice…but man life would’ve been so much easier if he would have been involved in a team sport! LOL). He really liked the Whittier team and coach and he liked how the coach was positioning the team for the future. They really seemed to mesh well, which was important to him. Definitely think you’re right on the playing time, though. He has good friends in DI that he plays ITF’s with from time to time and I think they definitely made him think twice about investing his time in a place that he will be able to grow his game more with playing time! We definitely aren’t banking on a pro-tennis career for him (neither is he), but he still loves the game and is driven enough to give it a go and we continue to support him because he’s so young to be a senior (he will still be 17 when he starts college). Thanks for your input though, definitely gave me more to think about.
@rosered55 That makes me feel a lot better!! He truly is an “old soul”.
He is so young to be graduating and going to school, but he thinks and acts like he’s 30! LOL! He has been our peacemaker kiddo. Loves everyone, doesn’t like for people to hurt, doesn’t see color, race, etc…always standing up for the underdog and we love that about him so much. He is hardest on himself, though. I think that’s common of the “old soul” kiddos though.
@gardenstategal You are so right! We want them to be strong and independent, but boy is it hard to let go! And there is just something about setting that last pup free!!! We believe in him and his decisions and are hoping to be a guiding hand that he knows he can always turn to.! I believe that you and @rosered55 are right, the kiddos that typically follow their own paths succeed (not that other’s don’t)! Fingers crossed! Aloha!
I thought it was one of the Colleges that Change Lives but I was thinking of Whitman!
I do think Whittier is supposed to be a great school.
Sounds like a great choice for your son, who must be mature in knowing himself and his priorities. Is it possible he doesn’t want high stress academics and is most interested in pursuing his sport? Or wants a personalized experience where he shines?
I can understand where you are coming from. Would you feel better if he agreed to revisit other schools one more time, or is the decision made (sorry you may have said so, can’t remember).
@compmom Oh Lord! The Nixon thing was actually one of the first things I read about it…lol…I had an overwhelming feeling of dread come over me at that point because I knew that he was considering it as an option…LOL!
He says he is finished with the process and stressed out enough about it, so I don’t think he will revisit any other schools, honestly. I am a bit relieved and still a bit flustered.
My biggest regret so far is not reaching out to other parent’s that are experiencing the same things my husband and I are. I think it’s a pride thing (although I don’t consider myself that prideful), or fear of looking like an idiot, despite the fact that we’ve been through it twice already. I can say that each time has been very different. I probably wouldn’t have lost the sleep that I have thus far…
@Amomslife, I wonder whether the fact that this is your last kid to go off to college – and therefore the one who will be leaving you with an empty nest – is contributing to the intensity of your feelings about his decision making.
Sometimes, there’s more going on in our heads and hearts than we realize – just as there is for our kids.
