[URGENT] Is my essay structured well?

<p>So basically, I want to ask if I grasped the common app essay right.
It is basically about a piece of art - what did it make me realise, in terms of my approach towards education and behaviour to others. It also contains question why might the piece be unpopular in my country (I am not American) and also an answer to that. It is fairly philosophical and delivers a rather strong message. It also slightly touches the topic of religion. There are not many anecdotes - only one which depicts that a friend of mine mocked me for working with that piece of art due to its unpopularity.</p>

<p>My second essay is about something I have been going through during my childhood for a long time. Something fairly uncommon. It basically consists of depiction of some memories, my thought about it and something about what did it give me or teach me, how has it altered my personality, but not really saying any "message". </p>

<p>So, what do you think? Did I plan it right? Should I change anything? Perhaps even a whole topic? In regards to the contents and structures of the essay, should I change, include or omit something? </p>

<p>Please answer, I'll be grateful for any sort of response. Oh and by the way, I am aiming for the universities like Princeton, Yale, MIT</p>

<p>So guys, anybody?</p>