<p>I was wanting to make my whole "this proves I'm diverse" essay on where I live. Because I live in the middle of nowhere, we have to do a lot of things ourselves. I would like to tell a few short stories on life down here, but that might be a red flag to an admissions officer.</p>
<p>It isn't uncommon we shoot and kill things, or deal with other dangerous stuff, or have to what to do with my step-dad's medical problems and PTSD (from being a Ranger and Green Beret). There are a few other things too, but those are a bit less touchy.</p>
<p>I was planning to describe a lot of this stuff as harmlessly as possible (I don't want to be too graphic. Its pretty gross), but I don't want to come across as dysfunctional or otherwise creepy. I think I've done it pretty tastefully so far. The point I was trying to make with it is that all this unusual stuff has made me someone who wants to fight for peace. I want to get into federal law enforcement.</p>
<p>I would like to know if this would be a good topic to cover. I need to explain my background anyhow, but, like I said before, I don't want to send up a red flag.</p>
<p>The college app essay is a chance to tell about you- especially how some event, realization, challenge, whatever, turned around your life or your perspective. You show not just some career idea, but what you have done in the interim. Eg, you now do peer counseling or raise funds for a shelter, mentor kids, etc, because of how the realities affected you. I lived in a “dead deer on the hood of the Chevy” place for a while and you could certainly inject humor. I’d skip the most awful realities- you’re writing about your transformation, not a news article that needs to be a complete picture.</p>
<p>Thats my problem though. Because I’m all the way out here, I can’t do anything else. Basically, I don’t have the oppurtunity to do anything to prove that it has changed me. I do plan on using humor, and it isn’t like depicting the bad stuff in detail, more of an intellectual tone that mentions it and moves on.</p>
<p>You have to make this shine or it risks being a pity party or a drag. Idea is to NOT fatigue the reader. Can you discuss the culture? Make it really bright/funny and show how you are triumphing in attitude and committment despite the various challenges? Include some locals who influenced you deeply? They want that glow after reading your essay. Ultimately, it depends on where you want to go to school. Any-old-U will be satisfied with any-old-essay. A hotter place will need to see the self-awareness and more. And, not sense your dissatisfaction.</p>
<p>Ok, so basically make it upbeat? I’m wanting to go to a good (out-of-state! haha) school, but I’m hardly dissatisfied. I will be using a funny tone, because (and I agree) without it things would be a pity party/drag. There are a lot of ‘stranger-than-fiction’ stories and my own thoughts on them. The fact is, a lot of this stuff we laugh off anyway, and that is going to be a cental part of the essay. </p>
<p>However, would a serious tone in certain places work? Some of these stories (cleaning up carcasses, dealing with seizures) have affected my view, but I don’t see humor there, and making fun of it seems disrespectful.</p>
<p>Would it be ok to have a few, more sad, but reflective moments that throw on the brakes? Or would that ruin the pacing too much?</p>
<p>I wouldn’t make anyone too queasy. Adcoms have seen it all- they know what life is like in various regions. But, they work hard, read so many essays. Don’t break their momentum with some mental image they can’t shake! Don’t know what you intend, but be careful about mixing your two ideas. Funiest thing ever saw was about a kid’s trip back to the parent’s homeland and how grossed out he was at some volunteer work he was assigned. But it was not on the level of carcasses. In the end, he learned first-hand how what he was doing provided a native alternate energy source- the last thing he had envisioned. Inthe end he had lost his disgust entirely and was really impressed by the ingenuity around him.</p>
<p>Ok, thanks. Thats actually a good example. I may actually be able to structure it something like that. That helps a lot!</p>