<p>BayareaDad- thank you so much for updating us on your daughter's experience. Your willingness to share her story has been very generous, and I wish you and your family the best.</p>
<p>Thank you for the update. It sounds as if you and your D have the best possible outcome. When you first posted it triggered memories of one S's years in an elite boarding school. They have a very strict one strike and you're out policy which was rigidly enforced during his time there a while back. He had spent his third year abroad in Europe where drinking laws were very different from here in the U.S. I held my breath until he finally graduated. Not all of his classmates were able to do so.</p>
<p>Best wishes to your family.</p>
<p>Just one comment: it is not a big deal to not have a high school diploma. My son doesn't have one, and once he'd finished his first year of college, no one has ever asked about it. (He did graduate from college.)</p>
<p>BAdad:</p>
<p>Thanks also from me. I am glad that the college was so understanding (they're used to dealing with adolescents!). Glad also that she can use a GED in order to keep her student loan. Many very bright students get a GED instead of a high school diploma (think of homeschooled students) so it should not be a blot on her record; besides, no one will care when she gets her college diploma.</p>
<p>Many bright students don't have a high-school diploma. Or if they need one, they just print one up.</p>
<p>BAdad, I'm so happy it worked out for your D - - especially when the school found out that you w/held info regarding the expulsion. Whether or not to reveal such info is, indeed, a tough call, especially since there are so many ways the info can later come to light (including angry or vindictive parents/students). </p>
<p>I'm glad your family will finally be able to close the door on this incident.</p>
<p>BADad, thanks for updating us, I, too recall your brave posting of such painful details.</p>
<p>The walk to the Dean's office must have been filled with trepidation!</p>
<p>Can your DD transfer her private school record to the local public HS and be awarded a diploma based on state requirements?</p>
<p>BADad,</p>
<p>I am so glad that you came back and gave us an update. I am thrilled to know that everything has worked out for your D (it sounds like she did a lot of growing between leaving high school and starting college). All the best to you and your family in the holiday season.</p>
<p>"the irony of settling for a GED after 4 years in a top-tier private school does not escape us."</p>
<p>Heh. You and my parents should have lunch.</p>
<br>
<blockquote> <p>if they need one, they just print one up>></p> </blockquote>
<br>
<p>What do you mean? Do they fabricate diplomas on their home computers? Do they forge signatures? How do you just "print one up"?</p>
<p>Thank you for the update on this OP. It's good to hear that your daughter's school is giving her the chance she needs to reconcile this situation.</p>
<p>Thumper, I think BCE was joking. </p>
<p>BayareaDad, glad to hear that things did not go totally awry. Wishing you and your family success now and in the future.</p>
<p>Thanks for the update - I hope your daughter is having a good semester at her school and continues to do well.</p>
<p>She may be glad for the GED someday. If she ever lives in PA and decided to homeschool her children a high school diploma or GED is required. No they won't accept a College degree, believe it or not.</p>
<p>BADad, did the school give your daughter the option of taking an Ability to Benefit test? That is part of the federal regulations, used in cases where a student doesn't have a high school diploma or a GED. <a href="http://ifap.ed.gov/sfahandbooks/attachments/0809FSAHbkVol1Ch1.pdf%5B/url%5D">http://ifap.ed.gov/sfahandbooks/attachments/0809FSAHbkVol1Ch1.pdf</a>. Check out page 7 of the pdf.</p>
<p>By the way, I am so glad to hear that things are working out well for her!</p>
<p>BayAreaDad,</p>
<p>I am glad to hear that your daughter has not had her life derailed by last year's events (the initial concern of your first post on the topic). And it sounds like her new school will probably be keeping an eye on her, even if you can't. Hopefully she has learned from her experience and will not be needing that oversight.</p>
<p>I can't help but to wonder how the summer went for the BayAreaFamily. As I remember, you were still quite concerned about whether your daughter would come to terms with why she was engaging in such behavior. With your proceeding with the college placement, I am assuming that she has made substantial progress?</p>
<p>In any event, thanks again for continuing to share your family's experience with us. I wish you and your daugther peace of mind.</p>
<p>It's really nice to see all of you again. Those two weeks last May were a little challenging, and there we so many kind and helpful words shared on this forum.</p>
<p>Kelsmom -- thanks, I did not know of the ATB test. That is a new option, although I'm thinking that if she has to sit for a test, it may be better to go ahead and do the GED. At least she'd have a diploma equivalent. But I'll share that information with her -- it's her call and it's good to know she has options.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone else for your wishes and concern. I thought numerous times of posting updates here, but it always seemed as though we were still in the middle of the story...</p>
<p>My d was essentially a "model child" over the summer. She seemed very serious about addressing the issue head-on, in fact there was no doubt that it was a massive blow.</p>
<p>She talked several times with the school's head admin, and even went to see him once. She wrote letters of apology to several key individuals and classmates at the school. She got a job, was promoted, was given a position of trust (keys to the cash register!), worked hard. She saw a counselor throughout the summer. We (BAMom and I) volunteered to attend, but D in collaboration with counselor decided they could muddle through on their own, that it was more a personal rather than family issue. (I tend to view CD-type issues as social/family issues, myself, but I didn't want to push this in light of the other successes.)</p>
<p>Regarding college, D actually decided at one point that she would take the year off, if the merit aid still worked out. We found it would not, that she would risk losing a substantial chunk of it. We re-assessed the college situation, considering one of the state schools (much closer). In the end, we realized that the tremendous amount of work that we had put into the search had led to the right school for her, and that that equation really hadn't changed. </p>
<p>Although we still had concerns, the bottom line was that we sensed that taking the year off was, in her case, more of a stagnation than a growth prospect: it seemed it was time for her to move on, that all available alternatives were not as good as going off to the college she had selected. </p>
<p>And now she's there. And we still have concerns. But all indications are that she is behaving as a normal college student. She struggled a bit with learning to manage her spending money. She's actively (too actively IMO) engaged with a soriority but that is leading to service and leadership opportunities, so I guess that's ok.</p>
<p>She has clearly established that she will be making her own decisions, and that is ok too. We pay tuition, so we require a certain level of performance, grade-wise. There is some small friction around that, since we think she could do a bit better. But she is extremely happy with her school, her new friends, essentially with everything, so we're reasonably happy as well. But we still hold our breath, and that may never change.</p>
<p>Good luck to you and your daughter! I truly admire your grace and intelligence in handling this very tough situation. I am so glad things are going well.</p>
<p>Absolutely inspirational parenting. Thanks, BayAreaDad and good luck to you and your family.</p>
<p>Great job, Bay Area Dad! Thanks so much for filling us in on the last few months. </p>
<p>About the GED: I coach kids who have dropped out of high school/junior high as they work to pass the GED. Most of them haven't been in school for a while so are not in the same league as your D academically. I've read through a number of GED study guides and, while I think there is no doubt your daughter will pass every part, it actually might be worth her time to skim a GED review book, especially the Gov and Science parts. Some of the material is stuff she probably had ages ago, and may not remember, and some of it is a bit subjective: some of the Science deals with current health issues like smoking and heart disease. I don't know if Finaid only cares about Pass/Fail, but if she wants to be proud of her scores, she might want to do a quick review. Lots of study guides out there...</p>
<p>Best wishes to your family. I'm reading "cautiously optimistic" in your post!</p>
<p>Thanks for the update, B.A. Dad. Sounds like things are working out. You were much calmer about the whole thing than I would have been (at least your posts sounded calm). Cautiously optimistic sounds right to me, too.</p>
<p>Thanks for the further update. I'm wishing your family the best.</p>
<p>And don't be a stranger -- many could benefit from your level-headed approach to issues.</p>