<p>We have agreed, as a family, to open the letters together. Since we arrive home together, there is no real question.
I was emphasizing family decision, not yelling, sorry.</p>
<p>My high school senior has been opening letters all fall - no big deal, and most of them arrive at boarding school anyway. I did not, and will not open them without permission.</p>
<p>Just because I know my younger child so well, here is what I think would happen if I were not home when the mail came. I’d get a phone call - “it’s a big envelope, can I open it?” of “it’s thin…” And of course, they could open it. </p>
<p>I would also not open it if I was home first (but of course, the envelope is a clue to it’s contents).</p>
<p>That would be pretty ridiculous if a parent insisted they had to open it first. I wouldn’t flip out or anything if my parents opened it for me, but I would prefer to open it myself.</p>
<p>What interesting conversations arise to fill the gap between deadline and decision day!</p>
<p>Definitely #3. I understand that parents are playing a huge role in this, but this is mainly the student’s future, and the student is the one who has worked the hardest on this.</p>
<p>Unless, of course, the student is too nervous to do it themselves, in which parents opening the letter makes sense. Other than that, I don’t see why parents wouldn’t want their child to open it themselves.</p>
<ol>
<li>I want to open it myself! I mean, I guess its fine if my parents did open it, but I’d prefer to open it myself- it is for me! but I would want my parents next to me so I could tell them!</li>
</ol>
<p>If I’m not at home and the letter comes, my mom won’t be able to wait to open it. But she wouldn’t tell me, just let me open it again myself, and I’m fine with that. I’d probably keep them unopened for days before finding the courage to open them :)</p>
<p>my mom has a dangerous tendency to assume everything is junk mail, so i’d definitely try to get to the mailbox (and open it) before she does…
if she opens it, that’s fine. if she throws it out, not so fine</p>
<p>magnetic: I know you want kids not parents to vote here, so I won’t…but I think Linda is just trying to point out that your summary of the original discussion (specifically the argument of one side of parents) is a bit off. You won’t find any parent in the original discussion who said that he/she would insist on opening the mail first–or even that they would be the ones to open it if everyone was around–just that if the kid wasn’t home, they might do it, and their particular kid wouldn’t mind. When the kids said they did mind, the parents clearly said they wouldn’t do it. </p>
<p>It’s interesting to see that the “sure, why not” and “no way” responses are in about the same proportion here as they were in the original, parent’s discussion. I think it’s important to express your feelings clearly to your parents AND to respect that other families might do things differently.</p>
<p>Here’s another (true-life) situation: the letters from the accounting office, billing us for everything my kid has spent on books, supplies, and junk food at the Grill comes addressed to him each month. Who do you think should open that one?</p>
<p>Admittedly kids who are waiting for BS or college letters are not financially independent and therefore bills of all kinds whether or not they are addressed to kids get paid for by adults/parents, but letters of acceptances/rejection as it has been stated here and in the other thread are different.</p>
<p>It seems all agree where the student really wants first crack at it, it shall be so.</p>
<p>Actually, I think it probably has something to do with taxes… But the fact that the Exeter bill goes to the kid and the acceptance email to the parents is what suggests to me that this is all one big grey area, and therefore, an area where we should make our personal preferences clear within our families, but keep, as much as possible, from judging other families.</p>
<p>But I don’t mean to take over this thread…promise I won’t post anymore guys!</p>
<p>“Here’s another (true-life) situation: the letters from the accounting office, billing us for everything my kid has spent on books, supplies, and junk food at the Grill comes addressed to him each month. Who do you think should open that one?”</p>
<p>Some school send e-mail and parent should know before the mail coming. I would like to open the mail if it is thin and wait for my D if it is think.</p>
<p>I wonder if we poll the applicants on 3/8-3/9 if they will still feel exactly as they do now with a “safe” number of days ahead of them until 3/10? ;-)</p>
<p>It’s just weird to me, that’s all. The parents getting on this thread all seem to say that because their family is so close, that it’s ok, or that “we have agreed to open it together”…implying that that’s what close families do. Another group says that it’s just different parenting styles that explain their motivation. And others think “well, what about the school tuition bill, that comes to you, but I open and pay it so therefore I should be the one to either open your decision letter or be with you when you do.”</p>
<p>My two sisters and I are incredibly close to our parents. There’s no divorce in our family. We all get along really well most of the time. It’s just that they would never open such an important piece of mail that was addressed to me, or demand that we open it together. I know I’m only 14, but if they think I’m old enough to go to boarding school they should let me open my own mail. I think a lot of parents on this site are so involved in applications and what-not that they can’t help themselves and make up excuses for opening the letter. Did you notice how some of the parents said their kids never get on this site, but they’re on all the time!</p>