@dadoftwingirls I think it’s got to be up to your D to gain motivation from her past experiences, just as we have all done throughout our lives. If being a valedictorian is something she wanted, it’s a good teaching moment. Our S was the same way - did “A” work (mostly) on tests and projects, but got dinged constantly for not turning in homework. We harped and harped to no avail, but he just needs to figure it out himself. He ended up with a 3.75UW, and got merit scholarships from every school from which he was accepted (all private).
Am I disappointed that he didn’t do the best he could do? Absolutely. Did we try to impress upon him what he was doing to himself all along? Yup. But at the end of the day, he needs to take responsibility for his own path, and if that path doesn’t include an elite college because of what he did, then so be it. In our case, the programs in which he was interested were not at elite schools. In any case, your D will have many opportunities for scholarships and a wide range of schools (assuming her tests somewhat mimic her GPA) from which to choose. I just feel like we cannot orchestrate every moment of our kids’ lives, they need to have a part in it, and if they don’t, I’m not sure how they become responsible, self-sufficient adults.