Will someone please critique my Georgetown "Why Business" Essay?

<p>I wrote an essay answering Georgetown's "Briefly discuss the factors that influenced you interest in studying business" prompt. Would anyone like to read and critique it before I send it?</p>

<p>sure, i'll take a look.</p>

<p>pm it to me, ill check it out</p>

<p>Okay. PM it to me.</p>

<p>sure, i'll be glad to proofread</p>