<p>Kids will be happy if colleges ditch the stupid GPA, letter of recommendations, essays,... These are just loop holes like the ones in the US income tax laws protecting the rich people.</p>
<p>I agree with that first paragraph in Post 19! (Unbelievable; what are such parents thinking? Why not just accompany them on their summer job interviews, too? Never would I do this.)</p>
<p>As to the limit on e.c.'s, my rules were this:</p>
<p>(1) I did not allow them to casually drop (or go in & out of) any activity that depended on commitment for success. (Thus, a book club or film club or casual school club is one thing. OTOH, A team sport involves regular practice & commitment to a team. A performing art discipline requires practice at home & regular attendance at class.) So, they could not trade a new e.c. for one they were currently commited to & enjoying & doing well in. They could add an e.c. as long as it didn't jeopardize the current one, or ones. If the new e.c. turned out to overshadow (they truly preferred it, were better at it, identified more with it), they could then "trade," but that never ended up happening. They did experiment & dabble, but ended up with the e.c.'s they continued to be most succesful in. And for us, that also meant about 2 major ones at any given time.</p>
<p>(2) With the qualification of #1, they could add an e.c. as long as it didn't seriously impact their schoolwork or their health (with late hours of studying).</p>
<p>(3) With the qualifications of #1 + #2, they could add an e.c. as long as it didn't kill their parent to drive dangerously to reach the 3rd or 4th e.c. or impact our family in some "insane" way with regard to finite time.</p>
<p>Balance, commitment, & prioritizing were the concepts.</p>
<p>My DD has received a full scholarship for college as a result of "driving down to the Maryland Soccerplex", and had many offers to choose from. The sticking point is, it's what she wanted to do. We always said we would support her activities as long as it didn't affect grades, family life, and too much money. We also said that if she was not interested in playing anymore, she could finish her commitment with the team (in this instance you affect 17 other players when you quit mid-season, plus, we have always said finish what you started, as long as no one is getting hurt), and not participate again.
To tell you the truth, we have been fortunate enough to be in the company of some really great kids and their families, and have made life long friends as a result. We have a great time when we are together, so do the kids. Yes, it costs, but we have been to many places we might not have in any other circumstances. Being n the road as a family also forces you to spend time with each other. When we travel and are on vacation, we always have a great time together. I know so many kids who take friends on their "family vacations" so they're not bored.
My D has learned sportsmanship, leadership, cooperation, and team work as a result of her activities, and has the opportunity to study at a great school (with no cost to us!). Besides with all the competition to get into a good school (or the right one), it gives you an edge above the others. There are so many AP, Honors, and NHS students out there (my D is one), it's tough to stand out.
But like it has been said, good balance and priorities.</p>