<p>D was deferred from her #1 choice school in the early round. She was somewhat demoralized by the deferral, doubting her abilities, casting her sights lower. She decided she also liked a similar though much larger, more distant school where her boyfriend (some coincidence, huh?) is a freshman. </p>
<p>In an odd twist of fate, she has now been accepted by the #1 school and waitlisted by the #2 school because part of her application was received after the deadline. She has been led to believe that her chance of admission from the waitlist is at least possible if not probable.</p>
<p>Her dad and I (and literally everyone else except the BF) think that the #1 school is, not only a better school in general, but also a better choice for this particular student. D had a great time visiting #2 school since the BF is there and so the school has had an "unfair advantage" in presenting itself to D. There is a comfort level there that she doesn't feel (yet) at school #1.</p>
<p>One more factor, D has been dealing with mild to moderate depression this year and we feel that is also part of the equation. SO, right now she has committed to the #1 school but her heart isn't in it. What do we do if she gets admitted to school #2?</p>
<p>If it were me: put in your 2 cents, whether she wants it or not, but then ultimately her decision. Or you could hide the admission letter.... (just kidding)</p>
<p>We've been very upfront with her about our opinion and the reasons behind it and she did listen to it. I think partly she just wants to prove that it's her own decision. I hate to see her make a bad choice just to prove her autonomy. Monydad, you aren't the first one to suggest throwing the admission letter in the bushes!</p>
<p>If she has sent in her deposit/committment to school #1, that's it. You should not even be discussing School #2 with her, or getting her hopes up. Chances of getting off most waitlists are slim at best. But ofcourse one never knows. What can you do to get her excited about School #1? What is it that makes it a better fit for her? Can you find little snippets of news to tell her on different days. Something about the campus, or food, or a study abroad program that is unique.</p>
<p>If she does get off the waitlist at School #2, they will give her a reasonable amount of time, I suppose, to decide. 1 or 2 weeks? If and when that happens, she will know what to do. Until that time, you should go about making joy :)</p>
<p>I would try to sell her on the value of going to school #1 and visiting friends at school #2 and vice versa, and as a result having the best of both worlds....the chance to have knowledge of 2 schools......vs if both go to school # 2, then they both will only know school #2......along the lines of make new friends but keep the old......</p>
<p>I had a bunch of my S's friends (boys and girls) over for a dinner party around graduation time....and mentioned during the course of the evening that their HS friends will pale in their life vs their college friends and their work friends and their (longer horizon) families..... they gave me some grief over this sad pronouncement.....but owned up to its liklihood..... </p>
<p>Just try and keep her eyes on the big horizon....which is hard to do if she is not feeling up to par in the first place. Maybe try to plan a few mother daughter shopping trips....ie overnite to big city or to a city with an Ikea or container store etc.....distract her from constant boyfriend? </p>
<p>Best wishes.....</p>