<p>^Not exactly, but there is some correlation.</p>
<p>The other problem is that the statistics are inflated by people that get married many times. The percentage of people that get married that get divorced is lower than the percentage of marriages that end in divorce.</p>
<p>Lol… I made this thread 3 months ago.</p>
<p>I’ve never actually thought about my wedding. Or if I’m ever going to have one. I feel like such a guy.</p>
<p>^^Aww dammit, I thought this thread looked familiar…</p>
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<p>I’m not against marriage, I just don’t see the point. Do you really need to be bound to someone by law to be happily living with them? I think marriage just complicates everything and adds unnecessary stickiness.</p>
<p>What marriage gives you is commitment, comfort, knowing that the first time something goes wrong you just can’t cut bait. Plus, and I’m not preaching, but you’re bound before God & that is important to me. It’s also something I feel my children are looking for in life. I just don’t know if there’s something that a whole generation has missed - that there is something more to care about than yourself. Honestly, I think that you all have been brought up to be so self-consumed that you can’t even fathom the idea that you might have to compromise in life. And marriage is compromise and selflessness and forgiveness and humility and its really freaking hard sometimes, but there just may be a generation of old, lonely people with nothing to love but themselves. It’s sad. And it’s sad that you’d prefer to discuss how you’d like to get married & not who. A wedding is a day, marriage is a lifetime. I’m off my soapbox now, but I hope that whoever reads this will know that it makes me sad that young people are so jaded about marriage.</p>
<p>boymom^ i agree, i dont have a problem with commitment, it’s just the other person has to uphold their bargain</p>
<p>(on a side note — marriage doesnt have to be religion based)</p>
<p>“And it’s sad that you’d prefer to discuss how you’d like to get married & not who.”
TBH, I’ve always found it a bit weird when people have a huge list of what their future husband/wife is going to be like.</p>
<p>but fantasizing about the wedding is so much more fun than the bride:</p>
<p>I want to be married on the Galapagos. The transition from ceremony to reception will be serene: sea turtles will ferry us across the islands. A special sea turtle (the most handsomest one) will be reserved for me plus my bride. My tuxedo will be waterproof. The sun will be setting as we ride our steeds through the calm ocean. The waves will sparkle and reflect dazzling hues of pink and orange. The air will be warm and tropical. My bride’s gown will billow in the soft winds. And we will all ride in the formation that birds fly in, except my turtle will stay at the front (the others will rotate). Oh, a bird will also be perched on my sea turtle: a flamingo. I will pet it’s feathers as we travel. I will stroke it gently, and it will look at me with a pair of penetrating blue eyes: I will look back at it with my own; and time will stand still.</p>
<p>CPU - When you find the right person, it’s not a "bargain"and you’ll know that :)</p>
<p>HJ - The thing is, everyone has some sort of “list” in their head (i.e., family-oriented, wants/doesn’t want children, religious/non-religious, willing to live anywhere, tall/short…) That’s not an odd thing - you tend to be attracted to those like yourself. And don’t think you’re weird if you have standards…</p>
<p>boymom— i like that! it made me smile!! hopefully i will find that person (:</p>
<p>and i agree, nothing wrong with having standards, just have semi realistic ones (:
for me, it’s intelligence, respect, and… a nonsmoker/drinker… not too much to ask right? (:</p>
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<p>There are definitely beneficial aspects associated with being married, but I don’t think that people should get married for the sake of getting married. Marriage is an immense commitment, and some people don’t feel as though they’d have the time or desire to pursue a relationship with someone else. That’s not to say those those who do want to live alone are self-absorbed though. We all make sacrifices on a daily basis and commit to various activities and organizations. Some people just have different interests and plans for their lives.</p>
<p>Having said that though, I think that a lot of people are just apprehensive to get married because they don’t know if the people they’d end up marrying would be the most suitable/ideal for them.</p>
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This is really offensive. You know nothing about any of us, but you feel entitled to preach to us about how self-obsessed we are and to question the way we were raised. I do want to get married, for reasons that have nothing to do with religion, but there are a lot of people who honestly believe that they are capable of a committed and loving relationship without marriage, and I don’t see the problem with that.</p>
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Why would anyone try to predict the person they’d fall in love with? It’s like judging them before you even meet them. I don’t want to create some mold to shove every guy I date into. Sometimes the things that surprise you are the best.</p>
<p>Please drop the patronizing tone and stop complaining about how young people are some cynical, narcissistic offshoot of the human race that is promising a bleak future devoid of light, love and all that is godly.</p>
<p>Asexuality and amoeba-like tendencies for the win</p>
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<p>No, but if something truly does go wrong, you have to deal with divorce if you are married. If you’re not married, you just leave the relationship and move on with your life. Also about marriage, it creates a feeling that you HAVE to stick with that person for a lifetime. I mean, you look around and you see so many unhappy couples that are forced to stay with their spouses. Why stay with someone if you’re unhappy?</p>
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<p>I think that’s one hundred percent untrue. I haven’t been brought up self-consumed, quite the opposite in fact, but I have been brought up to do what makes me happy in the long run. I’ve seen a numerous amount of marriages that have failed, led to depression, and caused a ton of problems. If I find the right person, I have no problem living with them, being devoted to them, and compromising with them, but marriage is unnecessary. It has nothing to do with truly loving someone. I mean, if you really do love and care about someone, do you need a ring on your finger to prove it?</p>
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<p>Yeah, but that’s just called dealing with the consequences of a decision. Nothing wrong if you don’t think you could handle such a consequence, just realize that that’s not always enough of a deterrent for people. I mean, there are major risks with any big decision you make; you never know what the future will be like. C’est la vie.</p>
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<p>Um, I don’t recommend coming onto a forum of high schoolers and telling them all that they’re selfish and uncompromising. Sure some of us (me not included) might not want to get married, but that doesn’t make us selfish. The reason that marriage has been pushed to a later age and occurs less frequently is manifold. A) More and more people (women especially) want to achieve financial independence before marriage. B) More and more people (usually men) have not achieved a good sense of identity yet, and how can you find a good spouse when you don’t even know yourself? C) The decreasing prevalence in religion plays a role, since marriage is seen as a religious practice. D) The rising divorce rate, as many here have said, turns people away from marriage, since they don’t want to go through the pain and suffering (emotional, mental, and material) if it does come to that.</p>
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<p>Yeah, but that’s just called dealing with the consequences of a decision. Nothing wrong if you don’t think you could handle such a consequence, just realize that that’s not always enough of a deterrent for people. I mean, there are major risks with any big decision you make; you never know what the future will be like. C’est la vie.</p>
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<p>Um, I don’t recommend coming onto a forum of high schoolers and telling them all that they’re selfish and uncompromising. Sure some of us (me not included) might not want to get married, but that doesn’t make us selfish. The reason that marriage has been pushed to a later age and occurs less frequently is manifold. A) More and more people (women especially) want to achieve financial independence before marriage. B) More and more people (usually men) have not achieved a good sense of identity yet, and how can you find a good spouse when you don’t even know yourself? C) The decreasing prevalence in religion plays a role, since marriage is seen as a religious practice. D) The rising divorce rate, as many here have said, turns people away from marriage, since they don’t want to go through the pain and suffering (emotional, mental, and material) if it does come to that.</p>
<p>My requirements for a wedding:
- A Pretty White Dress
- In a Church… Preferably the one that my parents got married in.</p>
<p>But… I’ve never actually dated a christian guy… so if that trend continues, then I don’t know how he’d feel about getting married in a church.</p>
<p>But then again, I don’t know how I’d feel about marrying a non-christian.</p>
<p>So.</p>
<p>But I would not spend 100k on a wedding. That’s craziness.</p>
<p>Kids these days think monogamy is some arcane, obsolete virtue. To them, marriage means inevitable divorce. They would rather have the option of just ending a relationship quickly than having to wade through a divorce case when they finally get tired of their significant other. Marriage is too inconvenient for those afraid of commitment.</p>
<p>Marriage is a tradition, and a very nice one at that. It’s a pity so many kids don’t see it that way anymore.</p>