I think it depends on region/culture. Where I live, presents aren’t given so certainly not brought to the reception, and no white after Labor Day was a thing, although I think it’s slowly going away. Looking at pictures my daughter posts at her southern school, there are tons in white pants/shirts/skirts after Labor Day. I’m guessing folks do purchase actual gifts for weddings, but have no idea if they are brought to the reception.
Son and DiL had a basket and table for anyone who had brought gifts to the reception. They had a registry for all the older folks who expected one; when people asked me what to get them I always said the same thing “they are poor, give them money”.
Gifts ended up at our house, where the happy couple enjoyed opening them the next evening; we packed up what they could take and have a few things still here in storage .
1 Like
In the old days, back in the 70s, in my Italian neighborhood in Brooklyn, most brides had a fancy bag to match their dress that they collected their gift envelopes in. Everybody gave a check or cash gift which they brought to the wedding. As the couple went around to each table to greet the guests, the envelopes were given to them. Honestly, I always thought this was extremely tacky. There was definitely a cover your plate mentality with these cash gifts. In addition, I remember people saying that the food or service was bad and so before they gave the couple the envelope they took money out (like giving a lower tip in a restaurant if something isn’t good).
1 Like
We called them tacky bags, I do think they fell out of favor before I got married in the late 90’s, but I definitely saw them at weddings when I was a young adult. It was only the older crowd who would wait to fill out the check, I don’t think that’s a thing anymore either.
Got an invite for a wedding recently - no mailed invitations - only email. And the registry - just a newly wed fund and a honeymoon fund. This is a new one - most other weddings I’ve been invited to have had these funds in addition to a few items on the registry.
Thank you notes? I am still waiting for those for two weddings last fall. Guess that’s no longer a thing? One couple had a generic thank you note attached to the seating place cards - guess that was it?
The lack of thank you notes, or having a generic one on the reception chair would irritate me.
My boys have been writing thank you notes since they were in kindergarten. They learned quickly that if money is given they can describe what they plan to buy with the money. Back then it was the latest nerf gun or Tonka. Now they talk about a new pair of shoes or computer/electronic purchase that they’ve been eyeing.
I just don’t understand not taking literally a few minutes to express written appreciation for a gift, be it money, or an item. Heck, even an email would be nice on order to know it was received and appreciated! 
(My in-laws still thank me for teaching my kids to write thank you’s, and tell me they are the only grandchildren who do.)
10 Likes
I agree that thank you notes are appreciated. Heck, I would even go for a text message. I would just want to be sure that they got the gift.
6 Likes
It was drilled into my head and I drilled it into my kids’ heads. Now that they’re all adults, it stuck. Most of mine prefer to call instead. My daughter walked into the house after driving home from college, opened a card from her grandparents, and literally picked up her phone to call them (granted she was leaving the next morning to move into her apartment for grad school and knew she had no free time ahead). After my parents’ funerals, I sat down the next day and wrote them.
2 Likes
Maybe we could all save some wedding $$$ if we explained to the to-be married couple that for every person/couple they invite to the wedding that will = a thank you note they have to write. 
LOL, maybe couples would be more satisfied with smaller weddings!!!
I’m also going to play the other side and say that often on CC people drive the notion of thank you cards as a law abiding “must”. Honestly, if this is the worst someone does - neglects to send a thank you - it really isn’t the worst thing! I’d rather have my offspring regularly treat family/friends warmly and respectfully in person each time they come in contact than put a thank you note as the marker of kindness.
10 Likes
So true!
I am trying to be more accepting of lapses. We all have struggles. And right, warmth when seeing each other goes a long way! 
2 Likes
Don’t care at all about a handwritten thank you. Would like an email that just says “ we received your gift. Thank you “. Just so I know it actually arrived. Nothing more necessary.
8 Likes
This!! We once sent a relatively expensive present from Amazon to the house of a couple whose wedding we attended. This was before Amazon would send you a photo of the delivered package on the doorstep. After a couple of months, my husband reluctantly inquired by email if the gift ever made it to their house or whether we needed to resend the gift. The young man enthusiastically responded that they have been enjoying the gift since receiving it.
1 Like
I sent a gift from a bridal registry last year, did not attend the wedding (was not invited), and never got a thank you or acknowledgement. It was a kid of a friend of mine, Second kid got married this year, I did not send a gift this time.
3 Likes
Totally get wanting to know that a gift was received! Maybe we can all include a self addressed stamped envelope in our gifts that the couple doesn’t have to write in but just drops it in the mail or clicks a link to acknowledge receipt!
3 Likes
I’d rather my kids do both!
9 Likes
It’s been a while, are shower hosts still having guests address their thank you note envelopes?
1 Like
For a while I’ve noticed that checks get chased with a day or two of the wedding, I’m guessing via mobile maybe even while on the honeymoon. I was a bit surprised that I did not see the check being cashed for the last wedding we attended back in mid-April. I saw it hit my account just the other day and the thank you arrived a day or two later. I was very surprised that the recipient specifically referenced something the bride’s father said at the reception that involved our two families from her childhood. She was always a very thoughtful kid.
3 Likes
Love the idea of an acknowledgment receipt. Like they get an e mail saying it was delivered and there a link to click to send back saying they indeed got it. That’s perfect in my view. Really don’t want anyone to spend time writing out a thank you.
2 Likes
I do want them to spend time writing a thank you, even if it’s an auto-reply acknowledgment. It’s just good manners.
10 Likes
My sons were not allowed to play with presents outside the holiday or birthday until they had written a thank you note. Meanest mom ever 
They didn’t have to write thank yous if they received the gifts in person. I think not saying thank you is really rude.
I see you on social media every five minutes, use a few to acknowledge the time and effort someone took to be nice to you!! jeepers!!
I did bend the rule to include emailed thank yous; my DiL and son had their wedding thank yous done within a month (she had preaddressed envelopes, for each guest, and matched those to the card my son wrote with the gift/name)
6 Likes