Yes, these are now multi-day events, with price tags to match. I wonder if it will be the same if a recession occurs. One 30 year old I know in a high cost of living area was just layed off-she had spent a lot attending weddings this year and has a smaller rainy day fund as a result. I guess she will call family for help.
Personally, I was happy to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on my offsprings’ educations, but do not wish to spend anywhere near that amount to celebrate their nuptials. YMMV, and others have different priorities.
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I got married a bit later, after establishing myself financially, but it did not make sense to me to do expensive stuff that no one would enjoy. Instead of a rehearsal dinner, we had a pool party with burgers, dogs, beer and boxed wine for anyone who had come into town. No wedding ceremony since we had already gotten married civilly overseas. A reception that was primarily for the parents’ friends and families. Then a softball game the next day at a public park with subs and cheesesteaks – the Mid Atlantic lunch staples – brought in. You can have a good, memorable time without breaking the bank.
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Many couples pay for a substantial amount themselves these days if they are older and have some money. We helped some, bride’s family helped some, but the couple paid the majority of the cost. It was an expensive wedding but that’s what they wanted. And the majority of the guests were their friends. I really think they could have spent a lot less, but not really my business. And the wedding weekend was lovely.
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After being in six weddings in a two-year period, my 20-something daughter considers it a big win when she doesn’t get tapped to be a bridesmaid (she has 2 or 3 more close friends whose weddings she is anticipating being in). Even when she’s not in the wedding (or her husband is not in the wedding), it costs a lot just to attend. She has 2 this fall that are local and then I think she’s done for a while.
The bachelorette weekends have gone to new levels. While my daughter had a very modest one at a family friend’s beach house in our own state, most of the ones she’s been to have been over the top - in places like Nashville, Miami and Mexico - places where everyone has to fly in and large homes are rented, color-coordinated outfits are purchased…crazy! For the Miami one, they had to pay $$$ to get to the front of the line at the clubs & pool parties.
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D1 just got engaged a couple of weeks ago. H and I have been discussing how much we will contribute to the wedding. We are going to see venues in the fall with D1 and her fiance since they live here in town and will get married somewhere in the area. Both D1 and her fiance are invited to a lot of weddings over the next year and most they will have to travel for. They were at a wedding in MA last weekend. D1 said she is already realizing things that she wants for her wedding and things she is not going to do. The wedding they just attended had some sort of gift for everyone at the wedding and D1 said most of those were just left behind on the tables so she sees no reason to spend any money on this. She did say she loved the harpist that played during the ceremony though.
This was a full dinner/drinks the night before.
In terms of costs for friends, I see a lot of weddings with huge wedding parties (8 couples last weekend). More people paying higher costs to attend each wedding.
So $100-200k to host the wedding is pretty standard now? And guests spend $2500-5k to attend?
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Don’t know for sure but I would expect the wedding we went to over the weekend was in the $100-200K range (likely lower end of it). We didn’t spend $2500 though. I would say a little under $1000.
My 26 year old spent about $1000 for a Miami one, with matching outfits and a limo bus. She did have fun.
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I’ve never attended a wedding that didn’t have a wedding favor, k prefer consumable’s. We got married on Kentucky derby day so the favors were OTB tickets, we collected them at the end and mailed winnings with the thank you notes.
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I’m going to go with whatever D1 and fiance want. This is their wedding and I’m not going to try to talk them into anything.
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My son and his wife did not have wedding favors. That’s becoming more common.Your daughter and fiance will be so fine if they skip it. Congratulations on the upcoming wedding!
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To be totally honest, I really hate wedding favors.
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Kid’s now husband is anti-clutter, so wedding favors were not even considered. Even with consumables, there is always trash. I don’t think the guests missed wedding favors.
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When D got married we purposely chose consumable favors - a friend owned a candy store which made delicious homemade truffles. I was hoping some guests would leave theirs behind - but NO ONE did 
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That is a nice way to do favors! 
No such friends here unfortunately!
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Full disclosure: D had a fairly large wedding (130 guests, mostly their friends and members of the family). We paid for all of it but we tried to keep the costs as low as possible for the wedding party. Bachelorette party was a location (beach) they could all drive to and take their own food (beach house was a friend’s so no rental cost). D had the bridal shop only show dresses under a certain price point. We paid all lodging and meals for the male and female attendants. We were willing (and able) to afford what we did, but were well aware that others were on different budgets.
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Well, the good news is this makes those annual $80k college bills look far more reasonable. At least that expense provides something for roughly 9 months, not just a day
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A lot of people are full pay college families who also have expensive weddings. Wedding this weekend included. Bridge and groom from full pay families at T20 college.
I realize each person has their own priorities, but this thread has really decreased my sympathy for Gen Z/millenials. We all make tradeoffs ( at least most of us) in how to spend our money on down-payments, education, parties. I think that is true even for full pay families.
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