Many people don’t have gift registries at all. Without a registry, I would guess that a gift of money is what is needed.
In the case if the weddings we are going to, all of the bridal couples don’t live near the venues, and would need to arrange for any boxed gifts to be shipped or brought to their homes.
Honestly, I like giving a small gift along with my cash gifts to bridal couples.
I also like to think of what a couple might need or like. Thus the wine gift (on my other thread).
We will gladly give a cash gift to the couple this coming week. The third wedding🤷🏻♀️
By the time I got married I no longer attended my parents’ denomination, but out of deference to their beliefs we had no dancing at all at our wedding. Or alcohol. Not sure what my dad will think about our kids’ weddings, oh, well!
Of course. I was just wondering if “no boxed gifts please” was a new way of asking for money. I have never seen it. If you do have a destination wedding in a city where the couple does not live, it does make sense.
I am from the South. Registries were usually by word of mouth. Gifts were chosen from the registry or money was given. It was frowned upon to buy a gift that was not on the registry. I know Emily Post would not agree.
We usually give some combination of check and small gift (something on the registry or pretty votive holders). When the wedding is fancier, I tend to consider a larger check.
We’ve talked about the tendency to give more when older and more able to do so. I have a fun example of this for groups. My husband and his friend coordinated the group gift from a coworkers attending the wedding. The other guys were young, some with small children. They were not able to give much. So the older two chipped in a lot in order to get a really nice barbecue grill for the couple’s yard. Then they all signed the card.
Maybe. I do know a big table of boxed gifts at a wedding reception can be a logistic nightmare. At our wedding years ago we were ready wise enough to have a friend drive my car, filled with gifts, to our home 3 hours. The car got locked in the garage while we were honeymooning.
No box means either cash or send gift from registry, just don’t show up with a gift.
Most weddings these days have a website with items and their links to stores; but what is becoming more common something like Airline Tickets $500 / Honeymoon $2000 /
Home Improvement $2500 and people can buy part or whole amount.
Last 5 couples we know that got/getting married had beautiful websites. Beautiful photos, all the events’ logistics in one place - they are the best improvement to weddings in recent years. We use to think $250 was nice amount for typical friend’s kid a couple years ago, but that has quickly moved to $500. I’d call that the new standard gift rate. Can certainly be more or less depending on who it is. We give amount based on relationship first, but yes, there are times expectations do come into play for a wedding held at somewhere like an ocean side Ritz or the Rainbow Room.
These threads are interesting to me. Like others, I had never heard of paying for your plates or Dollar dances or anything like that before. We went to a lot of wedding the first 5 years out of college when our friends got married but few since. We both have small families and neither would be offended if we didn’t travel to a wedding. It’s more expected to not travel.
The wedding for a friend/co-worker’s D I gave $100 which was more than the gift I bought for her sister a few years back. This D had a rough transition to adulthood, so I didn’t mind. I don’t think I was too cheap for our area because my friend was oohing at how generous D’s former boss (a doctor) was. He gave $250. I might give my nieces and nephews $250 if/when they get married. We will see.
3/4 of me hope my kids will elope. The other 1/4 thinks how beautiful their brides will be and what a proud mama I’ll be. But I do hope they keep it super simple!!!
It’s none of my business how much someone spends on their wedding. I give what I can afford and how important the couple is to me. Where I grew up (Oregon) it was considered tacky to give money unless it was a lot of money, you were expected to bring/send a physical gift. When I was 22 I got roasted big time by my coworkers for giving my cousin who just bought a house a $50 Home Depot gc! I love that here in NJ you just give money at the wedding and the registry is for the shower. My wedding was in Oregon and it was interesting figuring out how to get gifts home. I also find weddings are more formal in NJ vs OR even the less expensive weddings.
I’d never heard of the dollar dance until the DJ at my wedding announced it and everyone seemed to enjoy the novelty of it and expected it because they were prepared for it. It was all in good fun and I danced with everyone whether they pinned anything to my veil or not.
We had a graduation shower at churn for all seven of this year’s graduates. The typical gift was a $25 gift card.
My step-sister’s daughter is get married in two weeks. I’m going solo since it’s the day after my son’s graduation. I’m going to give $150 to $200 which was more the $100 I have given to my employees for their weddings.
In our cases…it’s definitely the distance the couples live from where the weddings are taking place…and the registry gifts were all purchased in 2020 when these weddings were postponed.
We really don’t mind giving cash. I actually prefer that to giving to a “house fund” or a “honeymoon fund” which our wedding couples have. They can use our money gifts toward either, or something different.
I’ve never seen “no boxed gifts,” but I would think that would mean please don’t bring something that we have to figure out how to get home. I know when I was younger I didn’t think/know to send the gift directly to the home beforehand, but with Amazon now I think most people would get that and it wouldn’t be such a problem At ds1’s wedding, I think there were seven or eight gifts her parents, who had a car, had to transport.
@abasket it’s just my opinion. I don’t mind giving a cash gift when a couple marries, but I’m not a fan of the trend for Honeymoon and House funds. Like I said…the couple can do as they please with the cash gift I give them.
I’ve just personally thought that designating a topic fund makes it look LESS like a money grab. Especially for people who don’t love giving cash. Sort of like “I don’t want to give cash so the couple can use it on something frivolous….but a house fund? Sure!”
The most recent wedding we went to (bride/groom 27/30) had one registry item - a ‘house in new state fund’. I actually loved that. Happy to give money and visualize where it is going. And knowing so many people (self included!) who didn’t use all the china, glassware, whatnot on the wedding registries. Just feeling like I was helping the young couple with their new start was rewarding.
I don’t mind the funds for people who want to give cash or donate to them. But I also think there should be a registry, with a wide variety of price ranges so that guests can choose what they are comfortable with. That’s just me!
Not everybody wants to give cash. Having a registry with items ranging from $15 to $500 gives the guests the choice and not feel bad if they can’t afford much. I would hate to think the bride and groom are judging people by what or how much they gift the couple.
