<p>Just a heads-up, this is going to be a boo-hoo I screwed up my life story:</p>
<p>Anyway, hello and good day to you all. It's been a couple of years since i've graduated High School and i've been wandering in life since then. Quite frankly, I just don't know what to do with my life. Isn't this such a typical situation? Time is ticking and passing me by, all my friends are achieving some degree of success and I'm just stagnant.</p>
<p>Since my teens, i've been struggling with depression and anxiety issues that stem from my parents marital problems. After elementary I had to move to a new city and started fresh in Middle School. This was really great for me because I had a fresh start and made a lot of friends, but during this time my parents were experiencing marital problems and though I've tried my hardest to deny that it had no negative effect on me because I was frequently told I was smart and I always assumed being so smart I could deal with it better than the average kid. I was wrong. The elementary school I had promoted from recommended me for Honors in Middle School placement. But of course I moved and that never carried over or was never even acknowledged. My chance at getting a headstart had escaped my grasp.</p>
<p>During my Middle School years I made friends pretty easily and was doing much better than I was (socially) than I did in elementary. I wasn't a troublemaker but I wasn't the best student I could be. I was the poster child for "Needs to apply himself" type kid. High School came and my parents were separated and I was doing bad. In conjunction with this, we moved again to a worse neighborhood and far away from my friends and I pretty much just gave up at life. Each time I had something good going for me, we would just move and my few achievements I was proud of would just go away, along with any benefit I might've received.</p>
<p>During this new High School life, starting with 10th grade, I was a depressed, anxiety ridden loner who slept in all his classes. None of my six teachers would say anything to me because I never bothered anyone, and when they would call on me, I would know the answer because I'd read far enough to know the material they'd be covering that day while they trudged along the slow pace that bored me.</p>
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<p>During the end of 12th grade, I enlisted into the Military because I was suicidal and perhaps I had a deathwish, I believed that it was the only thing for me. Clearly my grades had proven that I would never amount to any success. During MEPS (Military Enlistment Processing Station) I dropped out because I wouldn't lie under oath regarding medical status/history. I was disqualified because I wouldn't lie. Maybe the deathwish wasn't as strong as I had thought.</p>
<p>Ever since then i've been trudging along the Community College/ Junior College system with taking general education classes erratically (on/off). I've been paying out of pocket because I never signed up for FAFSA. My social anxiety would just jump into over drive and with the massive amount of people waiting in a room to get money to pay for school that I had saved up just seemed like a waste of my time. Irrational, I know but again i'm not well! I didn't think i'd qualify anyway. </p>
<p>Fast forward to today: I'm still in Community College, though at least now I'm applying for FAFSA. Both my parents are unemployed and have no savings of their own, nor did they financially plan for me attending college to begin with. I'm unemployed myself and I have been searching for a job for three months. Even if FAFSA did cover the cost of college unit costs and fees, I still wouldn't have enough money to attend I believe.</p>
<p>What can someone like me do? I'm a super minority who has screwed up his educational career and potentially future by not being proactive in my studies, career planning and development. I'm Native American and possess a legal document that proves it (Certificate of Indian Blood) so I should qualify for some type of grant or loan and I currently don't have a high enough GPA to command and demand more grants anyway. Everyday, my parents remind me that they will be selling the house and they will split up their own ways and that means I have to go my own way too. When this happens, I will become homeless. By attending the Community College i'm currently going to, even as a full time student if I could some how pay for it all, would not help me in my situation. I find myself fighting for my life despite not having joined the military at all. Depression, anxiety, and regret aside, i'm at wits end as to how i'm to come on top. I only blame myself in not seeking help but pride and anxiety always prevented me from doing so. I don't blame my parents despite their problems and really I had a good life up until now as a young adult where I must reflect upon my life and realize that if I was truly smart, I would've figured out the solution to my problems a long time ago.</p>
<p>Is there anything at all someone in my situation can do aside from arduously crank out units at my JC and hope of transfer?</p>
<p>I feel like my only way of surviving is to amass a large amount of student loans and just buy my way into the most prestigious college that will take me as a tally under their list of "See we educate minorities too" list so I can at least be assured I have a roof over my head and a shot (more like a gamble) at successfully attaining a degree from a school someone has heard of.</p>