<p>Okay, okay. There are many threads asking about what you think you or your child did wrong, what you would do differently, and what regrets you may have had. This is different. Since we are now very close to the April 1st general notification date, I want to now ask all of you: What did you do right?</p>
<p>I'll start. I googled "college counselling" and found CC. And learned and learned from all of the wonderful parents who had been through this before. I learned the importance of a well-crafted resume to both go with the common app and go to interviews. I learned the importance of starting the application cycle with a balanced list, though, of course, it didn't end that way because my D was fortunate enough to be accepted to her SCEA school.</p>
<p>I would say that once my d made her list and applied, she kept her mind open. Her 4 choices switched places several times and we revisited several for reevaluation. Her (almost) final choce was actually #4 at the beginning. Also, keeping an open mind will hopefully alleviate some of the pain if rejected.</p>
<p>The #1 thing my D did right was that she set her sights high coming into 9th grade. She took the toughest courseload, did all her homework and established excellent relationships with teachers, counselors, students and community members. Success would not have been possible without that foundation. Then she asked for my help on the search and application process. She needed help getting focused and staying on schedule. A bit of butt-kicking was involved for the essays, but I had her permission for that. What I did right was to stay focused on HER goals, whether or not I agreed with her choices. We parents should be in this process as the support people, NOT the decision makers. CC has been a huge help for us and it would have been a way different process without this vast knowledge base. Thanks to all who so actively share your knowledge and experiences.</p>
<p>Visiting and doing overnights on Thursday nights. Top school (and highest "ranking" one fell to the bottom; near bottom rose to the top".) Not having a "top choice" until all the information was in. Meeting faculty one expects to be one's mentors (if needs are specialized.) Don't believe any of the "need-blind" malarky - schools can and do adjust the size and shape of their need packages based on how much they want an applicant, and simple financial aid applications, with schools claiming to use exactly the same methodology, will yield widely different results.</p>
<p>Amen and amen to YoMama! Your D sounds a lot like my S. In addition, we focused on schools that would be a good "fit," not paying mind to the overblown status-seeking Us News & World report rankings. We also got good insight and "insider" info from parents and students who are attending/have attended the schools.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Don't believe any of the "need-blind" malarky - schools can and do adjust the size and shape of their need packages based on how much they want an applicant, and simple financial aid applications, with schools claiming to use exactly the same methodology, will yield widely different results.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>This is excellent advice. </p>
<p>However--nitpicky, perhaps-- it seems to me that the fact that colleges do this doesn't change their "need blind" status or mean it's malarky.</p>
<p>Need-blind (as I've understood it) simply means the admissions office doesn't evaluate or consider your financial aid information when making the admit decision. </p>
<p>Once admitted, however, info can flow the other way--meaning the aid office may use admissions-type criteria in determining aspects of the aid package. And aid offices SHOULD be willing to alter formulas when they don't fit your family. Again, this isn't related to the admit decision.</p>
<p>Reached high, but appropriately high. Focused on getting outside familiar home area. Took the ED route, which was possible due to our not qualifying for FA. Visited and listened to gut instincts. Tried to pick a "happy" school with nice people.</p>
<p>Result: 100% satisfaction.</p>
<p>"Need-blind (as I've understood it) simply means the admissions office doesn't evaluate or consider your financial aid information when making the admit decision. "</p>
<p>Every single one of them knows your zip code, your school attended, your legacy status, your ECs, and the number of hours per week you went out for paid work - it doesn't take a genius to know, and the information would be impossible to ignore in admissions decisions. More than that, we have the director of admissions at Williams, a prime need-blind school, checking in the middle of the admissions process to see what percentage of low-income candidates have been admitted. Then there are the so-called "Questbridge" schools - applicants only qualify to apply according to their income status. The list could go on - there isn't a need-blind school in the country. (And if they are truly need-blind, someone should fire the admissions director for not doing his job well.) However, that part is in fact irrelevant to doing something "right or wrong" as there is nothing you can do about it in any case, so I apologize for straying off topic.</p>
<p>It is also true, however, that I confounded two points, the first that there is no such thing as "need-blind", and the second that "need-based" packages are truly based on a generally accepted needs methodology.</p>
<p>1) Kept an open mind, had lots of open-ended talks with the DD while making our evening walk around the neighborhood</p>
<p>2) Had the "money talk" first</p>
<p>3) Parents picked the first couple of schools to visit, after D's early, naive choices were big state school vs Yale. When the first round of visits was over - big state school, small LAC, and mid-sized university - daughter had much better idea of what she wanted, and was able to refine as the process went forward (see number 1, above). If she had stuck with just what she knew, I think she would have been less satisfied.</p>
<p>4) Listen to your dentist (see #1) - he suggested D's final choice to her.</p>
<p>Okay, Mini, you've made the point before: some need-blind schools will give you a break for being low income. Fie on them!</p>
<p>What is normally meant as "need aware" is that some schools give you a break for being able to pay full price; the opposite of that.</p>
<p>So I maintain, it's not malarky. "Need blind" is generally understood to indicate that you won't get slighted for needing aid. Which is true for Williams et al. </p>
<p>Rather than your usual "gotcha" comment, how about tipping your hat to their social awareness.</p>
<p>But as you say, it's off the thread topic.</p>
<p>As for what we did right:</p>
<p>Kid #1: supported her decision to transfer. Life's too short to just put up with a situation, rather than loving it, if choices are available.</p>
<p>Kid #2: Learning from above situation, helped him really weight what he wanted out of a school, encouraged him to do what it took to get that, and made it clear we'd do our part.</p>
<p>Result: two very happy kids.</p>
<p>played a game wherein, D wouldnot allow herself to add a reach she really wanted to her list, w/out also adding a safety she felt good about attending.... funny thing, now that notices are coming, a couple of those safeties still sit near the top of the list...</p>
<p>It seems as if the "right road" is different for every family. </p>
<p>The thing that stands out in my mind is the decision my son made in regard to early applications. He had two "reach" schools he loved. He'd taken courses at both in the summers and felt he could be happy at either. One school had ED (and incidentally forbade all other EA applications). The other was an EA school. Son made the decision to apply to the EA school. This school was a smidge easier to get into, but that really wasn't why he did it. Neither was it the money issue that dissauaded him from ED (as so often is the case with many families). </p>
<p>For son, it was the joy of getting an acceptance from a school he loved but at the same time not having to make a final decision. He has other applications in RD and, when all those come in, he will have the freedom to make a final decision. He may very well end up at his EA school, which would be great, or he may choose to go elsewhere, which would also be fine. So often applicants who forgo ED applications place that decision solely in the context of finances. But my son just wasn't ready to commit, and he was able to recognize that in himself. </p>
<p>Was their pressure on him to apply ED? Not from us or his school GC, but he felt implicit pressure when so many of his friends chose the ED route either because they really knew where they wanted to go or because they wanted the statistical "bump" that seemingly comes from ED. For son, that "bump" was less important than his freedom of choice.</p>
<p>I will echo that finding College Confidential was a huge blessing. Also, as a recruit, my son (and his parents) were realistic about his talent and used it to obtain admission to the best possible academic school. We figured out which coaches were REALLY interested in him and he basically was willing to put all hs eggs in his first-choice basket. As for what he did in high school, not many more things could have gone wrong, and he still came out OK. He had 5 schools on his transcript, a suspension and expulsion and only 3 years of a language which ended in 10th grade. His passion for learning and his self-discipline came through loud and clear in the carefully crafted recs he got. Another big thing we did right was landing him at his latest school. Finding this school was worth all the pain that went before.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Need-blind (as I've understood it) simply means the admissions office doesn't evaluate or consider your financial aid information when making the admit decision.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I, too, need to make a correction. Need-blind means that having need won't count against you when colleges make an admit decision. I was wrong to use the blanket "not considered" because, indeed, at some places having high need is a plus. They should call it "need hold-harmless" or something. :)</p>
<p>One thing we did right and I would recommend is that we met with my D's GC in late winter/early spring of the junior year. We went in with an open mind, a very preliminary list of my D's schools (she was only a junior) and the three major things my D was looking for in a school. We used the time to see what the GC thought of her list and ask for his ideas about what other schools she might look at considering her statistics and desires. We walked out knowing that he supported her choices.</p>
<ol>
<li>found cc</li>
<li>read about andison from last year</li>
<li>love thy safety.....DD safety is gradually moving to the top of her list!</li>
</ol>
<p>Thought honestly about money.</p>
<p>Talked honestly about money.</p>
<p>Recognized that there is no ONE magical, perfect school.</p>
<p>Aimed for an overall fit - academics, social, EC availability.</p>
<p>Be SURE you & your child agree on at least two safety schools where the child would be happy to attend AND you can afford. If the child is accepted at one of these schools early on, you can re-evaluate whether to apply to the other school. (Son actually only applied to one financial safety because one of the other schools he applied to accepted him early & gave him a substantial merit award, he said he wouldn't attend the other financial safety school he was going to apply to so we agreed there's no real point in him applying.)</p>
<p>My niece also ended up attending & loving her safety school, where she graduated from & got into her top choice law school (she gets her law degree this spring). She toured all the schools she was accepted at in the spring before making her final choice & it caused her to see the safety in a new & glorious light--the folks were extremely friendly everywhere at that school (especially compared with all the other schools she toured).</p>