<p>^ Many factors come into play. Poverty, substance abuse, single parent households, etc. So you’d have to tease a lot of things out to isolate the effects of corporal punishment. </p>
<p>For purposes of this discussion, I think we need to be clear about the nature, frequency and intensity of punishment we’re discussing. The word “beating” suggests to me a punishment done in anger, often with a tool or closed fist, severe enough to leave bruises, welts, cuts, or broken bones. Not several quick swats on the fanny with an open hand (“spanking”).</p>
<p>This thread is really beginning to trouble me. I don’t think anyone needs to prove that violence against children is repulsive. If you want your children to follow rules and be disciplined, follow rules and be disciplined yourself. Hitting someone is an act of violence, a strange way to teach self-control. If you must hit, take up boxing-- your opponent will be the same size as you are.</p>
ha, i find that interesting.
I personally don’t like to be “beaten” by my parents, i never was. (thank you mom and dad…) </p>
<p>yet, i’d hate it even more (in a long term effect) that if i was “beaten” once by my parent, the whole world came and told me i was being physically abused by bad parents and my parents should go to workshops or i should be seperated from my parents - which is exactly what happened to a family i know. the girl is completely messed up, her dad is messed up. the whole world is now telling this poor 8 year old that her dad is a beast and it’s okay for her to rebel.</p>
<p>I think we also have to remember that there’s a huge gulf between spanking (or beating) and total hands off, lazy, permissive, non caring parenting. It’s not an either/or situation.</p>
<p>Children can be taught discipline and respect with no violence at all.</p>
i think this statement makes a lot of sense to me. i noticed when i went to china the dogs there don’t bark much. sorry i don’t mean to be rude at all but it’s true that Asians discipline their kids and their loved ones. Kind of like it’s a cultural thing. western culture shouldn’t be presumptuous and order the parents what to do unless the parents are really abusive, which is not true in most cases. Yet, mimimomx3 is right. you want your kid to obey you too much, you kill their creativity. do you really like that? </p>
<p>btw, the family i talked about (post 264) is all bone a fide Caucasian. So parents have different personalities. I have no doubt that dad loves her kids but now the kid doesn’t think so. She is brainwashed by her teachers and social workers.</p>
<p>My parents are divorced and I feel like my family is often dysfunctional.</p>
<p>“Tests have shown that children under moderate trauma have a tendency to apply themselves academically as a method of copying.” - Up in the Air</p>
<p>I concur.</p>
<p>My mom paid for my SAT classes though, which helped a lot.</p>
<p>My mom doesn’t force me to study and isn’t incredibly interested in my grades, which made learning seem more fun and less forced; something I now enjoy. (you have to instill that good work ethic though) my mom was a little anal about working hard and giving your best when i was little.</p>
<p>My parents aren’t very supportive of my extracurriculars either. That helped because it made me want to volunteer/go to speech+debate even more.</p>
<p>… and I am not bitter I honestly think these are contributing factors.</p>
<p>I find these generalizations based on “experience” and not on statistics on CC so comical. Would this person have said this out loud to others? I seriously doubt it unless they want to be labeled an idiotic, misinformed, simple- minded racist. </p>
<p>As an applicant to the top ten, I think parents should act minimally in their child’s college process. Yes you should be supportive in driving to trumpet lessons, finding dance classes when you see your kid obsessed with ballet, etc. But the best thing as a small child is for the parents to open the possibilities to their children. I hated my mom for forcing me into piano, language school, basketball, ballet, jazz, soccer classes ( not all at the same time). At 8 I was rebellious and cried the entire way to these activities. Ultimately I ended up LOVING these activities and sticking with them until high school. I dropped about half but my parents gave me the oppurutinty to find things I absolutely enjoyed. She told me as a small child " I don’t care if you quit every activity after trying it, but I’ll regret if forever if I don’t give you the chance". </p>
<p>Parents support your children, enlighten them, help them. There are different kids out there but most need some sort of guidance. I love that I tried so many activities because I experienced so much that my friends never could imagine.</p>
<p>At the risk of being rather cliche… I have a good friend who is African American. She says ONE of the reasons she was very strict with her children and was very unforgiving of a smart mouth came down to one thing. If he were pulled over on a dark night and yanked from his car, unlike my white kid, hers might be shot of the simple basis of the color of his skin. While our conversation on the subject was not this simplistic, I totally understood. We have a black teacher at the school that drives a BMW. He is pulled over at least once a month and on the basis of nothing else is asked for his license and registration as if he was driving a stolen car.</p>
<p>“He is pulled over at least once a month and on the basis of nothing else is asked for his license and registration as if he was driving a stolen car.”</p>
<p>Thank God I live in San Francisco. It isn’t completely free of racists, to be sure, but that kind of thing would never happen to anyone on a regular basis here.</p>
<p>Speaking from the viewpoint of a 17 y.o. Asian, I understand that spanking is the norm in some Eastern cultures. I resented my parents a lot when I was younger, for not giving me the love, attention, and affection that I craved. Part of the resentment probably stemmed from my early exposure to more “normal” styles of parenting through books (Remember the scene in HP and the Prisoner of Azkaban where Harry is looking into the Mirror of Erised?).</p>
<p>My older siblings, who spent a large part of their childhood in Asia, have little problem with corporal punishment. But incidentally, none of us have close relationships with our parents. </p>
<p>I prefer loving and authoritative, not authoritarian, and don’t plan on spanking my kids.</p>
<p>Congratulations to the parents who didn’t allow there kids to own cellphones, laptops, ipods, watch tv, use facebook, go out on weekends, etc. You’re darling son or daughter is now attending HYPMSC, too bad there probably complete losers.</p>
<p>keilinger, you’ve got a great outlook. One of the most fun things about being a parent is steering away from one’s own parents’ mistakes, I’ve found. I hope you have great good fortune–and it sounds as if you will, too.</p>
<p>So according to your logic, our son, who attends one of the schools you included in your list of lofty schools attended by beaten kids (#236), is some sort of amazing anomaly? He was never spanked, hit, or otherwise violently treated by a parent. We will have to look for another cause for his academic “success.”</p>
<p>The fact that you know a large number of students who were disciplined as you were is no surprise, The fact that many of your peer group attended good schools is no more surprising than the same thing happening in any other high-achieving peer group. You assert that Asians hit their kids more than non-Asians. You also observe that Asians are disproportionately represented in “good” schools.</p>
<p>Have you ever learned the difference between correlation and causation? They really should not be confused.</p>
<p>^^ so we can first establish that Asians are more overrepresented in top tiered schools (4.4% of Americans are asians yet HYPSM have at least 15% asian populations).</p>
<p>Next lets consider why Asians so over represent themselves. Most would point to their high emphasis on education and discipline. Asian cultures teach that it is ok to use Corporal Punishment. Im just saying that the overwhelming majority of asians were beaten AT LEAST once in their lifetime for misbehavior, filial disrespect, or academic reasons. This tends to force the asians to straighten up their act.</p>
<p>As for your son, it is possible that he is just smart. Or it is possible that you may have forgotten when was the last time you hadphysically disciplined him. And If you deny that, ill go on a limb here and call you a liar.</p>
<p>Nope, never laid an angry hand on him, so there was no last time. I am not a liar. And if you need to call me names to prove your strange theory, your theory is in trouble. You need a new theory.</p>
<p>Does the assertion that Asians are, as you state, overrepresented at top tiered schools, and the assertion that Asians are “beaten” equate causality? Of course not.</p>
<p>What if I were to prove that of the 85% non Asians at HYP (using your numbers), say, 85% had not been beaten. What would that tell you?</p>
<p>Personally, I would need a LOT more evidence to believe that corporal punishment leads to higher achievement. This thread is really going off on a very odd tangent! Lots of victims of corporal punishment end up behind bars as well; what does that mean?</p>
<p>Hawaii has an overrepresentation of Asians. To the best of my knowledge, we don’t have an over-representation of beaten people (except perhaps in the prison/jail system).</p>
<p>Well, without doubt, my parents did EVERYTHING wrong. They never complimented me, always called me lazy and just today told me I’m the laziest person they’ve ever met in their whole life (even though I just pulled of a 4.7 GPA this semester taking 7 IB classes). They broke my door and constantly checks up on me to see what I’m doing. No privacy. No games. No breaks. Seriously, I deserve to be an elistist ■■■■■■■ for a whole week because I was able to pull off 4.7 despite being watched every damn second! You know how annoying that is??? Jesus… I had to control my emotions and ignore everything, and it was hard. Two weeks ago I got hit by a whip.</p>