What do I say?

<p>A teacher who I was really close with had his son die in a car accident last week. He's coming back to school next week, and I was wondering what I could say to that shows her I care without sounding awkward/insensitive.</p>

<p>I wouldn't say anything -- bringing up the subject in conversation might be upsetting to a person who is desperately trying to function professionally at work while coping with a severe personal stress.</p>

<p>Instead, it might be nice to put a note in the teacher's mailbox saying how sorry you are for what happened.</p>

<p>A note or a sympathy card should be first. Simply say you are sorry to hear about his loss and "my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.' It can be short but it means a lot to people that friends and acquaintenances acknowledge this loss and are sympathetic to their feelings.</p>

<p>A sympathy card would be a nice gesture. In this situation, I've noticed that people will tend to avoid the topic, and even the person who experienced the loss--simply because they don't know what to say, and are afraid of upsetting that person further. So they do/say nothing at all (worst choice). Then the person will feel that no one cares or recognizes her/his loss. I think a card or note would be best. And if you talk about it with other students, encourage them to send a card, too.</p>

<p>These are really good comments for you, biobiology. Some things to say are:
"How are you doing today?" or "I've been thinking of you so much" or "We're so glad to have you back with us." If you can, touch your teacher on the hand or arm when you say this.</p>

<p>A sympathy card in the teacher's mailbox is a great idea. You could also leave another card or note before the Christmas break, as the holiday season is very painful for anyone who has lost a child. Keep in touch with your teacher throughout this year, as many (even most) people shy away from parents who have lost children. (I am a bereaved parent.)</p>

<p>Not saying anything is the worst idea. It's not like the teacher has forgotten about it...I think a card and a simple, "I'm so sorry to hear about your son" is nice.</p>

<p>Hmm. I like the idea of the note rather than saying something. Recently our local postwomen had a brother she was very close to die. Her first day back I said something and we both stood there crying...it made it tough on both of us and she had a line of customers she was not friendly with behind me. Saying something to the teacher in a classroom setting might make it difficult for he or she to maintain their composure.</p>

<p>I think the note is much better
Because often people are barely holding it together- and a show of sympathy is difficult to handle.
Besides what are they going to say? Oh Its OK? :(</p>

<p>Following up is at least as important as the intial show of sympathy as well, especially if you feel close to them.</p>

<p>A handwritten sympathy card or a bought sympathy card with a handwritten note would be appropriate. You can send it to his home address (check the phone book) or put it in his box at school.</p>

<p>Your note doesn't have to say much, just something like, "I was so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Please know that I care." It means so much to people who are grieving to know others care.</p>

<p>It's not appropriate to ask, "How are you?" as clearly, she is not doing well, and her life will never be the same. </p>

<p>When you see him, it is fine to say something like, "I just want you to know that I am sorry about your son." You will not be reminding him of his loss. He will never forget it.</p>