<p>Okay, so I'm a freshman in high school, and I'm much more goal oriented than most of my peers. I'm already searching colleges on the internet, looking into scholarship, and taking all of the volunteer and extracurriculars I can get. However, I live with my grandparents, and they just don't want to let go. I live in a really small, rural area, and around here not too many kids are as ambitious as I am. Pretty much everyone wants to stay home and live with their parents until they get married and be something boring like a teacher or a nurse. Well I have much bigger dreams; I want to be a journalist. My parents don't support it at all either. I consider myself a pretty good writer(not that this demonstrates and of it), and that is the only career I can see myself getting into and actually enjoying. What they don't understand is that in that feild it's very important that I go to a highly ranked University; My top picks for now are Duke and Columbia. My nanny wants me to go to a comunity college and become a teacher... BORING! I just don't understand, why would she pressure me to make such good grades(I'm straight As btw) if the only ambitions she has for me are to go to a community college? I asked her that just the other day, and her reply was less than nice: "What, do you think you're too good for that. Well, honey, you just keep on thinking you're too good for everything". It was a big dissapointment for me. I'm not cocky at the least, but I do know that I have the potential to go places. I just don't think she understands. I have all the things I need to get into a great college, but she doesn't want me there. She wants me here, with her. It's just not fair.
Also, she's limiting my opportunities. This year, I got the opportunity to go to Japan with the Student ambassadors program. She's going to let me go to the meeting, but she says I still probably won't get to go. My question is really, does she just want me home, or does she really believe that I don't have the potential to be anything but a school teacher here in the middle of nowhere?</p>
<p>Being a teacher or a nurse can be just as exciting and rewarding as being a journalist. I am not saying that you should go ahead and be a teacher, it’s just your statements above are very immature, and not very thoughtful.</p>
<p>The “student ambassador program” is basically a scam that allows students to go abroad in a group for a huge amount of money.</p>
<p>What makes you think you can get accepted at Columbia or Duke? Who will be paying for your college? (Being a “straight A” is not nearly enough for that…)</p>
<p>I am sure that you can get accepted at many great schools. You have some time to talk to your family, and make them see why you think that a 4 year college is a better option (which, I am sure, it is). But you have to come to them with a thought-out answers, and some ideas of how to fund your dreams.</p>
<p>GraingerGal, you say you’re a freshman in HS. Are you entering 9th grade? Or did you just finish 9th grade?</p>
<p>In either case, you’re still pretty young. Your family might be seeing you as still a “little girl” and can’t picture you leaving home for college. Further, if your grandparents are elderly or old-fashioned, they might think nurse and teacher are the best jobs for a girl. </p>
<p>Have you and your family ever talked about who will pay for college? Could it that they’re pushing for Community College because that’s all they can afford? It’s not too soon to ask them.</p>
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And a bit cocky. Just saying.</p>
<p>My advice: don’t get into arguments now about subjects years in the future, unless it impacts on your activities now. You and your grandparents agree that you should get good grades and be active, so just do that.</p>
<p>It’s hard to find a kid at my kid’s old high school that hasn’t been invited to the Student Ambassadors Program. I wouldn’t call it a scam–I think that’s a little harsh. However, it is an experience that is open to almost anyone who will shell out the money for it.Nobody who knows anything about it sees being invited to particpate as anything at all special. It will help you not one iota in getting into top colleges because top colleges KNOW that. </p>
<p>So, IMO, your grandma is right to say she isn’t promising you that your family will spend a lot of money for you to go to Japan through this program. My own D was invited to go on various trips sponsored by this group at least 3-4 times. I always said no too–and I did pay the tuition for a top school. Don’t equate saying no to the Student Ambassadors Program to insisting on community college. </p>
<p>Keep getting great grades. Keep doing all the other things you do. Wait until a few years from now when it’s actually time to apply to have these discussions. </p>
<p>Your grandma may feel that your family can’t afford to send you to the schools you’re dreaming of and doesn’t want you to set you up to have your dreams crushed. She may not understand that private colleges do offer financial aid. Or she may see asking for it as asking for “charity.” It may be too that your grandma didn’t go to college at all and thus sees going to community college as a privilege–one that she thinks you’re lucky to have.</p>
<p>In any event, why argue about things now? Do what you can to get into a top college and when it gets closer, ask how much your family will be willing to contribute to your education. Then ask your parents to fill out the FAFSA and PROFILE forms and see what happens.</p>
<p>If you think that you’re prepared to go farther off than community college for college, than prove yourself by showing that you’re independent. Maybe start taking on more chores, and offering to go shopping for groceries, etc. </p>
<p>By the way, Columbia has a good FA program, so if she gets in and otherwise couldn’t afford anything besides community college, they’ll probably be able to help.</p>
<p>I’m sorry if I sounded cocky, I’m not. And the reasons for why I want to go to Japan are not because I feel like I’m special… I really like learning the history of other countries. I’m aware that straight "A"s aren’t enough. I stated that I’m taking all of the other appropriate measures for the stage I’m in at the time. I’m not even fourteen yet, so I feel that for now I’m pretty much okay. To answer your question: What makes you think you can get into Columbia or Duke? Well my freshman year starts in the fall, so I feel that if I make all the right choices in everything I do, I at least stand a chance. I don’t think I’m a shoe in or anything though. I mean, considering that I’m not in high school just yet, there’s nothing helping me or against me for the time being.</p>
<p>Come back when you are a freshman in college and complain that you parents can’t let go. For now, it’s their job to hang on tight.</p>
<p>Oh yeah and I agree with Hunt. (again)</p>
<p>Its early times yet. If you want to do journalism, find anyway you can to get into that field through volunteering, internships, etc.</p>
<p>I know you live in a rural area, but there must be a local paper, </p>
<p>A lot of kids don’t get the chance to go to japan as freshman, they still have great hs experiences.</p>
<p>heres what you need to do:</p>
<p>Grab as many opportunities locally as you can
Volunteer- say there is a local soup kitchen or food bank, work with them and ask if you can help with the publicity</p>
<p>If there is a state fair nearby, ask if you can volunteer to help them, take pictures, anything to get into some area that might be even close to journalism- advertising, press releases, </p>
<p>my daughter was in the radio club at her high school. It was just once a week for a 3 minute report. Now she reports for an npr station connected with her school for NYC…doing news, reporting, producing, etc. </p>
<p>The trick is to come across as a bit more humble and down to earth, dream big, and find snter omeone at your school or volunteer place ot locally who can mentor you.</p>
<p>I understand wanting to get of there and dream big, maybe you come across as I am better than this place, and I totally get that thought process. Maybe just tone it down a little and worki behind the scenes.</p>
<p>Good luck!!</p>
<p>I am surprised to find somewhat negative and critical tone among the replies here. </p>
<p>Come on, parents. Here is a bright and motivated kid who is getting no encouragement and has no role model in his/her limited and confining environment. S/he is only 8th or 9th grader, no need to snicker about “immaturity” of saying being a teacher/nurse is a boring thing. If s/has only an experience of watching his/her “unmotivated and uninterested” teachers at school, it’s no wonder that s/he comes to have that view. Kids of CC parents all have been exposed to very motivated parents who are working with their kids day and night to give them the best opportunity they can get. This kid has NO support system to help him/her live up to his/her ambition and potential. Be encouraging!!! </p>
<p>O.K. to the OP:</p>
<p>At this stage, you don’t need to be too concerned about your future career choice. Given that you are in an environment with limited exposure to the wide ranging career options, you may have simply latched onto journalism since that’s something you see on TV, etc. You don’t know much about colleges yet: just some name recognition, so don’t worry about the actual colleges also: you will get to have better view as time comes.</p>
<p>What you need to focus on now is how to escape into the big, wide world. The best ticket, of course, is the university education. You already know that. You are smart and wise to start planning this early in the game. Let’s assume the worst: that there is not much resource in your family for pricey education. You need scholarship. You have plenty of time to mold yourself as the best candidate for scholarship you can possibly be. Four things that matter for scholarship:</p>
<p>(A) grades: keep up good grades. Make sure that you take the most challenging and rigorous courses you can take. If they offer honors courses, be sure to be in them. if they offer AP course, take as many of these as you can. </p>
<p>(B) SAT: too early to worry about this yet. Just keep up the good academic grades. By Oct of sophomore, you can take PSAT and see how you stack up. There are a lot of on line resources that help you prepare for SAT without spending money for pricey prep courses. By the way, do you know that by simply becoming a national merit finalist based on your PSAT score (for Junior year October) and essays, etc, you can be a full ride scholarship student in many universities, where it costs you NOTHING to attend?</p>
<p>(C) teachers’ recommendation: start building a good relationship with a couple of teachers who sees your potential and will support your dream. Get to know them. Ask good questions. Ask for help. Seek their guidance. This is something you can start right away as soon as the fall semester begins. The idea is to firmly plant the idea in their head that you are bright and ambitious young thing who is going to places.</p>
<p>(D) extra curricular activities: start now. Don’t chase 100 different activities. Colleges don’t like it. Choose a couple that comes from your heart. Focus, and build a sizable profile. The idea is to start at the “beginner’s level”, and through four years of high school, emerge as a leader in the activities you choose. If you can initiate some activities that others follow, it’s even better. </p>
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<p>AND, ignore all the naysayers, YES including your relatives. Don’t disrespect them, but in your heart ignore their negativity. You can be much more than what they are. If they say, are you too good for us? Just smile and say, I love you. But deep in your heart, you know you will go to places they don’t even know exist. You can fashion your own life much different from anything you see around you. As surprising as it may sound to you, a lot of close relatives and even parents are threatened when their young kid has the ambition to break out of the “tradition” and move away. They are afraid that the kid will grow up to ignore them and disrespect them when they become something much more than what they are. In short, they are afraid of losing them. So, their effort to hold on to that kid sometime finds its avenue in discouraging the kid from living up tho his/her dream, and taking him/her notch down to their level. That’s why you need to ignore their negativity in your heart (NOT expressly on the surface).</p>
<p>By the way, I escaped from my own environment as fast as I could for a similar reason: the culture I was born into was so suffocating, I couldn’t wait to get out, and I had absolutely NO role model and no guidance. I had to do it all by myself. I wish I had a helping hand and ready advice from someone who knows about the “wide and exciting world” out there. At least you have one amazing resource I did not have: Internet that allows you to reach out like this. Ah, technology is a wonderful thing. It makes me proud to be in a high tech industry so that some like you can use it as a way to escape into a wide world that you have no visibility into yet.</p>
<p>Good luck. Hang in there. The CC site is amazing. Keep watching what’s being posted year, over time, you will get as much, or even better advice and tips than the best guidance counselors anyway. What I read on this site was an invaluable resource for me to use to guide and help my own kids.</p>
<p>I really want to make it clear that I don’t think that I’m better than that, but I’ll just leave it alone. I’m coming to the conclusion that maybe I am quote “too young” to be worrying on the issue. I’ll worry about it when it’s time. Thank you for giving your opinions though. It’s been helpful for me to see that I need to explain my motives better so I don’t seem cocky.</p>
<p>Thank you so much hyeonjlee. You really understand the perspective I’m coming from, and thanks for the advice. It’s helpful to hear from someone who was in the same situation as I am at the time. For now I’m trying to not let their negative comments affect me, but it can be hard. Thank you so much for your motivation:)</p>
<p>For those who think that I’m quote “immature”, it’s not a suprise to me. I’m only thirteen years old…</p>
<p>You go girl !!! (I am assuming you are a girl). I don’t have a daughter, but if I had one, I would have been so pleased to have such a bright young thing as my daughter. The fact that you are only 13 and already planning your move - wow, I see a bright future. In fact, I was just like you - in my case, I had to escape 8000 miles to live my dream.</p>
<p>(by the way, I updated my original post: toward the end - about why your own relatives may be negative).</p>
<p>I admire you so much for getting away! Most people just sit around and do what their parents want, and it’s refreshing to see someone who to the alternative path. It’s great that you’re helping your kids to be what they want to be. A lot of parents(especially ones in rural towns) will do anything to keep their kids at home… even if it means tearing them down. It’s a sad thing, but at least I can learn from it, I suppose. I try to find something positive in everything. Like I commented above, at least I learned from these harsh comments that I need to work on sounding less arrogant. In the end, there’s something good in every situation is the way I look at it.</p>
<p>GG–</p>
<p>The part of your post that bothered me was the part that claimed that:</p>
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</p>
<p>I suspect that the percentage of parents or grandparents who would be willing to spend several thousand dollars to let their 13 year old daughter/granddaughter go to Japan with the SA program is pretty small. Apart from financial concerns–and unless you’re family is extraordinarily wealthy, this program isn’t a wise investment, IMO–there are other reasons, perfectly valid reasons, to say no. </p>
<p>So, yes, I think you are acting immaturely–even for someone age 13–by acting as if your grandmother is being SO unreasonable by saying that you probably won’t get to go.</p>
<p>Apparently, I’ve made that point appear a lot more significant to me than it actually is. I understand her perspective, and I don’t think that it’s really that unreasonable for her to not let me go. It’s only my opinion that I think it would be a good opportunity for me, and I feel that I’m entitled to my opinion. As are you, so thanks for your opinion:)</p>
<p>based on what I read, you are amazingly mature. don’t hunker down and try to hide your ambition too much. You don’t need to fake that you are like others around you with no ambition. Sometimes when people accuse you of being arrogant, it’s their way also to take you notch down. I saw this all the time: growing up as a girl in a culture that put women down. When they run out of argument to counter my point, they would accuse me of being arrogant because I chose to stick to my belief and conviction that I could be much more than what they thought I should be.</p>
<p>Now you will also have to deal with the peer pressure in highschool as you become a full fledged teenager. They will want you to be molded into the same shape they are in. Remember, you probably are INDEED much better than they are. Hey, the fact that you are only 13 and already have the wherewithal to engage me like this puts you above 99.9 % of your peers! No need to advertise it and antagonize them, but no need to deny it in your heart. Don’t be apologetic about your ambition, at least not in your heart. </p>
<p>I kept my “inner arrogance”, and growing up I always felt that indeed I am better than they. It’s only after I came to a top graduate school USA that I finally felt that I am with my peers.</p>
<p>You will find your niche in a much wider world. You will find the people who are like you and you can relate to. Hang in there, and let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your help and support. You’ve really enlightened me</p>
<p>PM me in the future when you need some guidance. If I have time, I will answer (today is my day off, I am surfing web). If not, what have you got to lose for trying? You can also track some other posts I made.</p>