What do you think of this simile?? should it stay or go??

<p>This is the introduction and part of the conclusion to my essay. The simile i'm asking about is isolated in the conclusion. I'm trying to be economical with my words.</p>

<pre><code> The barrel, pointed forward, is level under my chin. I am trapped in a corner. This isn’t how I wanted it to go down, but I have no choice now. My eyes dart between the barrel and the target, tracing my line of fire. My eyes taper their brisk movements until fixed to one spot on my target. A smooth succession: **** and fire—agony —a clear miss! My father rises from the bar stool opposite me. My miss, like Caesar crossing the Rubicon, has determined our fate; my father only needs to make four unobstructed shots, including the 8-ball, and he will win. “Oh well”, I sigh, as my self-recrimination dissipates. I love this game of billiards too much to let the anguish linger. So, instead of sulking, I replay a sequence of events, hoping to reveal what led to my errant shot.

 I missed my shot because I narrowed my focus to one target.

</code></pre>

<p>It’s like staring at a car’s taillights rather than paying attention to the whole road while driving: it eliminates the possibility of rear-ending someone, but not the myriad of other mistakes that can occur.</p>

<p>Making shots requires the foresight to look past the target, onto the cue ball’s path, and then the ball’s path to the pocket. Sometimes I get wrapped up in being a giant, roaming pair of eyeballs, but I would play much better if I didn’t.</p>

<p>From what I read, I think it works well. Keep.</p>