Hi. D22 and S22 are headed for college in the fall. Have always thought of them as resilient and independent but increasingly see what a huge transition it will be to move away, in addition to dealing with the academics.
Currently working on laundry and meal prep.
What did you do, or wish you had done or encouraged them to do, to help prepare them for freshman year away?
The best thing I did with my daughter was to take a self defense class with our local police department. They shared a lot of good tips - everything from not walking around on your phone so you are aware of your surroundings, to using the buddy system, to tips on how to keep your drinks safe, and then ultimately some self defense techniques. Overall take away was on how to avoid putting yourself in dangerous situations. It was helpful for my D to hear that from someone other than me.
PS. There will be something that comes up that you think youâve covered and youâll laugh ; ). My 21 year old, who had lived in multiple apartments and is quite self-sufficient, texted me last week with a photo of her top loader washing machine. She had never used one! Every machine sheâs ever had access to was a front loader and she wasnât sure where to put the detergent ; )
D24 still has 2 more years of HS to get through before heading off to college, but when I went off to college, I wish that my parents had taught me more about personal finances. They covered the basics like balancing your check book and paying bills, but said nothing about credit card debt, saving money, etc. I eventually learned through the school of hard knocks and reading a Suze Orman book. So before D24 graduates from high school, Iâm going to have her read âThe Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke.â It has a lot of really great practical advice about everything re: personal finances.
My mom also didnât cover anything re: my reproductive health. I learned way more in freshman year in college from the Human Sexuality class that I took (which was taught by a husband & wife team of sociology professors). Itâs far better to be fully informed so a young adult can make decisions based on fact than based on assumptions. 
Additional stuff that we plan on teaching D24 about before she leaves the nest:
On the academic side, I would make sure they know what to do if they are struggling. What are the deadlines for dropping a class? Should you take an incomplete if you fall ill at the end of the semester? If you sign up for a class and quickly realize this isnât the class or professor for you, how do you switch to a different class or section?
If you have kids whoâve cruised through high school with little difficulty, they might not know how to manage options if they do run into difficulties. And, when you go to college and have options for instructors and classes, why suffer through a semester if you donât have a good fit?
Adding to the banking piece - understanding ATM fees, overdraft fees (our kids opted to have overdraft turned off, so no way to spend what donât have), Venmo including parent acct, as easy way to send $ or even a little surprise.
How to mail something including the difference in mail services - ie:Fedx overnight is not the same cost as the post office!!
This is a great thread! The CC community could public an amazing crowdsourced book on this topic, IJSâŠ
I taught both of my kids how to hand sew on a button, and hand sew a hem. Both are very glad to have these skills. I also sent them to college with a teeny sewing kit.
Better independent time management. I let them count on my reminders too much.
How to address an envelope and how to get stamps. One would think that this is easy. Apparently no one in my house ever paid attention to the mail, haha.
I actually got both my kids some very cool stamps for their stocking stuffers last year. Note the metallic sheen of the space stamps.
Tip your Uber right away. Not hours later.
Tip for hair appts.
Tip for takeout.
Etc.
S knows to tip (and tip well) but itâs amazing how many of his HS peers wouldnât tip when dining out. (I know, donât get me started, it burns me up!)
@123mom123 - and a big reason my daughter says some business wonât deliver take out to her rural campus or auto add a tip now to deliver to campus.
Where we live, kids start going to sit down restaurants around 12 (walkable center of town, plus our high schools have open lunch), Applebeeâs half apps are popular once they are driving, and I told my kids to make sure everyone tips well (there are always a few bad apples).
As for addressing envelopes, I realized when my oldest was in high school that me addressing their thank you notes wasnât smart. I remember kidding my oldestâs boyfriend as 17 because he didnât know how to use a can opener, my 14 son told me privately that he too had no idea how to use it. Oh, and for some reason some of them never learned not to sign anything in pencil.
Itâs impossible to teach kids about everything they need to know in life. Besides, itâs better that they learn on their own. So my advice to my son when left for college was that he should think before he acts on something, especially if itâs his first time.
Exactly!!! I told my S that exact thing. People wonât deliver if there is a reputation for students not tipping or not tipping well.
I told S that he should especially tip Ubers not just timely but very well. Bc I think Uber drivers can see tipping history etc of occupants and he wants to stand out in a positive way and alway be a welcomed occupant.
My kids can do envelopes (Bday and Christmas etc thank you notes) butâŠ.they both still have problems with the spacing of the address well in the middle of the envelope. They end up cramming last letters by right edge.
And they both have discovered that YouTube is SO helpful for resolving domestic tasks: like steaming clothes, tying neckties, etc.
Yeah, I completely understand and support auto tips especially for delivery. 
I taught my daughter the importance of being proactive with her health. Before she left for college she had labs done and met with her new primary doctor. At that appointment she scheduled her physical for the following year.
Before my kids had their own Uber accounts I told them to tip and not mess up my rating.
I think there is an ongoing process. I agree that the personal finances stuff was the most unfamiliar when our son arrived on campus, but his school is in a town where there is actually a friendly little bank, and they have been very helpful whenever issues have come up. His salary from his campus job goes into the bank account, and the account comes with a debit card. I also gave him a credit card linked to my account, for âemergencies.â I set a relatively low cap for his card, but it has been useful for various purposes and gives me peace of mind. There is also an added benefit in that having the card enables him to build his own credit rating (not all linked cards work this way). Over the recent winter break, I talked with him about the advantages of establishing a Roth IRA now, while he is paying little or no taxes, and he deposited some of his salary in a new account. I donât think he would have been interested in that discussion two years ago. We also sent him off to school with a minimal tool set, sewing kit, medicine box, etc. I never even attempted laundry, but in general think this kind of day-to-day stuff works itself out, between phone calls, friends, YouTube, etc. What I realized after he left for school was how grateful I was that I could trust our son to take care of himself. I believe that people generally live up or down to our expectations, and while he was in high school, we tried to release the reins and make it clear we expected him to use his freedom wisely. He did one minor dumb thing early on, and we made it clear that, while we were available for advice and support, he was responsible for actually cleaning up the mess. He did, and I think his school also did a pretty good job of teaching responsibility and resilience. In the end, he had grown into a pretty sensible and responsible young adult by the time he left for college. I feel very lucky - there are always things to worry about, of course, but if the fundamentals are sound, the rest is easier.
Time management and scheduling was something my better half taught my kids. My spouse started using a calendar app about 12 years ago. The kids had to learn to put their things on the app or run the risk of not being able to do it. This has helped D19 in college as she uses one for herself to stay organized.
Laundry is key for freshman year.
Cooking is important once they move off campus. (When buying their own food the kids really learned what the saying âwe have food at homeâ means)
