Hi all – so sorry not to have checked back in on this thread. I appreciate all the responses. To tell the honest truth, hanging out on this website causes me some serious anxiety so after posting, I skeedaddled.
Some of these suggestions are very helpful. Mom23 - yep; same. Of course everyone’s right, there are plenty of good academics-D3 schools. But many are smaller and like one of Mom’s 3, mine is wanting a big, urban school. Plus, she’s not really mathy-engineery, so CalTech-MIT-JH-etc … I don’t remember the rest, maybe CarnegieMelon? – anyway, a lot of them struck me as fairly engineering-heavy and not so likely her cuppa tea. Who knows, these labels are pretty thin anyway, but that’s what’s underlying my question. It must have seemed pretty whiny to some given the reaction – sorry. FWIW she has top grades and scores from an “inner city” school and I think feels something of a chip on her shoulder to go to a ‘high-prestige’ school because so many seem to presume she’s “dumb” being from her school. So those are the broad limits of the search-outline she’s conducting.
A little to my surprise she was quite adamant about not liking SLACs at all. I think just the racial composition of these places freaked her out; she’s used to a very different rainbow-hue. But oddly, of those schools so many of you helpfully listed out above. many are SLACs or techie. Maybe I’m still just making that up; I’ll look again.
Good news of course is it only takes one.
But the other piece here is this: club swimming is totally and completely fine, I think. I guess she/we/I? just somehow didn’t ask the right question? Only she did- the coaches simply didn’t answer any questions, just fired off a form letter. She asked “I know I’m not your calibre but what options might there be for me on campus?” - because she doesn’t know; I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking here, frankly – I don’t even have the language. I didn’t know there was such a thing as “club” swimming, and that it would be different.
Fenway asks: “how would you do it”, which is a slightly hostile way of expressing my own non-plussedness: without the language I don’t know how to say it; I don’t know what I’m expecting or looking for … but I guess the answer is “club swimming”.
How I’d do it is line up all the kids who want to swim, rank em, draw a line at the number you need for your top competition team and batch together the rest in increments to make up successive “teams” of lesser accomplishment. Voilá - a “team” and ‘baby teams’. That’s how it’s done in HS, essentially, with “varsity” and “JV”. But it’s evidently not how it’s done in college at all. And that’s what surprised me; that’s really what I (and kid) was not getting.
So when she writes a letter asking “what opportunities might there be for someone like me on campus” (she said it better than that), I wasn’t expecting a reply like “I dunno, you’re SOL sister”. Because evidently according to you-all at least some schools do have alternatives in the form of “club swimming”, only the actual Teams - none of them even had the manners to mention this!?
And so … my confusion. I was and still to some extent, just am confused by this whole process! How do you find out about club swimming if the “Team” won’t even tell you? So that’s the point, these “Teams” are so elite, they don’t interact, apparently, with those of mere “club” stature. And yet, there may well be such an opportunity on campus … I guess?
Daunting, this whole process still is…