<p>mamom wrote: “There are so many schools out there, everyone can come up with a list of good schools (that will offer your kid money) that they would like attending.”</p>
<p>But I expect what she meant to write was more along the lines of: “There are so many schools out there, everyone can come up with a list of good schools (some of which might offer your kid money) that they would like attending.”</p>
<p>Because the simple hard cold fact is that not all students can find that magical place that will offer them money. And, even if they are offered money, that offer does not necessarily make the institution affordable. Students with “good” grades and “good” exam scores and “good” ECs can hunt around a bit, and may locate places where their individual “good” whatevers do add up to a level of attraction for at least one college or university that will result in enough merit-based aid to make a difference. However, there are students who just aren’t “good” enough, and/or for whom that merit-based offer isn’t enough to make a difference.</p>
<p>Happy - yes. I think faster than I can write. All schools are a crapshoot nowadays. But, with enough research, one can find schools that will “probably” offer some kind of merit. Whether that is enough is another thing. We don’t qualify for FA so whether a school meets full need (with or without loans) was never something we had to factor in. S applied to 13 schools, denied at 4, WL at one and accepted to 8, 5 of which gave him good to great merit aid. We deliberately looked for schools where S was in the upper 25% GPA/SAT wise, although he did have a couple reaches and matches in the mix. Of course, the OP’s S has other issues regarding auditions that have to be dealt with.</p>
<p>Sorry that things are not working out as planned. You really have to level with your son and tell him the OOS is not a realistic option. He is not alone, many parents have had to have those difficult talks with their children.</p>
<p>Although I agree that research is important in figuring out likely aid, it is not always straight forward. Also, the students preformance is not always predictable. My son got into all the schools he applied to, but only got merit money at a few. He is a lopsided kid, which makes estimating likely merit awards more challenging.</p>
<p>My oldest was a NMF. However, at most schools it didn’t mean much. It did get him some extra dollars at the school he is attending, but that was the exception. Many schools only offer a $2000 or so (which, while nice, doesn’t do much to make a $50K tuition affordable).</p>
<p>It is not easy always easy to pick a financial safety to love. If its an instate public, size or quality can be a concern. If its a private, there is no way to know ahead of time whether or not the money will come through - for either need-based or merit-based aid.</p>
<p>Your son may well end up loving their school, or if it turns out to be a bad fit, could transfer. One thing that worked with one of my kids was to point out how much the monthly payment would be for a larger loan and how it would impact his ability to pay for a car, an apartment, vacation or even things as simple as a cell phone and internet access. It helped him understand that a large loan made no sense at all.</p>
<p>well, I tried all sorts of ways to make hime “love” the safety school, but even my mercenary reasons for doing so didn’t convince him. For now, we will continue negotiating with the OOS for some money, continue applying for scholarships, and he will have to work work work . . . once he gets past his AP finals in a couple of weeks.</p>
<p>I do wonder, however . . . and I couldn’t find an answer doing quick research on this forum – do students/parents . . . after all the final acceptances/rejections/waitlist letters have gone in and the stark financial realities sink in . . . ever start the process over in May? Apply to one or two more schools, strictly safety ones, or ones that have been somewhat pre-screened, i.e., you know there are openings?</p>
<p>It’s a moot point in our case, since I already sent the deposit in to the OOS.</p>
<p>ptc you might be interested in the story of andi and her son, also a musician, who didn’t get into any of the colleges he applied to the first time around.</p>
<p>We don’t always see the results here (andison’s story is the only one I can think of off the top of my head), but every year any number of posters are advised by someone who’s got the links handy to take a look at the list of rolling and late admission schools at petersons.com and/or read the list of spaces available at nacacnet.org when it comes out in May. For those of us who have good community colleges nearby, from May 1 on we find ourselves suggesting “Have you given a thought about XYZ Community College?” over and over again as our friends take in the fact that their child’s college choice is not affordable.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, our local CC is just about the least most inspiring educational place. It’s an essential institution for people who would flounder elsewhere – like my eldest daughter. But my son recoils at the idea of going there (although I can see him taking at least one class there at some point to get some requirement out of the way at a lower cost.</p>
<p>Something else I’ve learned about this process – at this point, my son got some money from the place he didn;t want to go, and no money from the place he MAY be going. But what’s frustrating is that NOW I feel . . . . I practically know . . . that there was some school would have been a perfect match for him – and that had money for him.</p>
<p>But there’s no way of knowing that when you go into the process. It’s quite the crap shoot, this application process.</p>
<p>ptc–
I am sorry that it is has been a disappointing outcome for you and your son. One of the realities of the situation is that it is quite common to get money from a place you don’t really want to go (they offer you money because you are above their typical candidate) and not get money from the places you are intrigued with (because it is reachier for you.) It is just the way the competition sorts out.</p>
<p>I think a lot of good can be made of a gap year, should you go that route.</p>
<p>We have the converse problem: no issues with money (kid can go wherever he wants), but kid has subpar stats. I’m finding it hard to get advice on our situation, other than go to community college for 2 years and transfer. Although this is certainly an option, I’d like to hear some other ideas-- if they exist!!</p>
<p>Agreed. In many ways I’m WAY overthinking this. Of course, a school where he is above average is likely to toss him some money, whereas at a place where he is like a lot of other kids money will be scarcer.</p>
If kid has a strong tendency to seek a long term educational goal such as PH.D, MD degree, etc, help kid to take a gap year and reapply
If kid tends to like a quick-build career such as, engineering, nursing, accounting, ect… help kid to go to a Community College 2 years, save money, and then transfer to whatever school that he/she likes best
my 2 cents</p>
<p>BfloGirl, lots of my son’s friends in that predicament did very well in the college process with the Catholic schools. And if the kids had stats higher than the norm, those very schools came up with some nice merit money, so there were a lot of happy kids who went this route. My son had some such schools on our list as they would meet our financial limits and he really like them. I wish he had picked one instead of the big OOS public that he picked.</p>
<p>Does not help for music, but my nephew just did the 2 year cc and transfer to UVa. He did not want one of his safeties. No way he had the stats to get in the first time, but they have an agreement with the cc and he busted chops to have top of grades for the transfer. He lived at home to save money and now he will be a happy UVa student next year. He was a late bloomer and did not settle into study habits until what he wanted was out of reach. Once he did the grades followed and now he can get want he wanted. Actually a good life lesson for him too :)</p>