Jesus talk about judgement. Just because I go out and have a good time doesn’t mean I’m not in college to learn. I learned more and studied more this semester than I ever have in my life. And I got a high GPA too. But I also learned how to manage my time to allow myself to go out 3 or 4 nights a week and have an all around great experience. When I say that a high schooler wouldn’t really know it’s because that’s the truth, I’m not trying to be disheartening or whatever, I’m telling you the truth. And if the truth hurts than that sucks but you need to face reality at some point. And the reality is that a lot of really smart kids also go out a lot in college. I go to Michigan which I assume is pretty similar to Madison if that’s where you’re looking at and I can assure you that there are miraculously intelligent and accomplished people that also drink a lot and have fun at night. You have enough time in college to devote to both academic and social lives so please don’t judge people that go out as not trying to learn anything in college. And yes, there are things you won’t learn until you finally get out and live on your own in an environment like Madison or Michigan so I won’t feel bad for writing you off as a “starry-eyed HS student” because, in reality, that’s the perspective you will have until you actually experience school.</p>
<p>^You’re also a high schooler so again, you just don’t quite “get” college life or the mentality at a big state school yet. And I’m not gonna apologize for coming off as harsh or insulting, because I’m not lying or misrepresenting any of my college experience (which has been fantastic btw).</p>
<p>The choice between partying and studying is a false one. There are times for both. If you’re responsible in handling your work ahead of time, you don’t need to wait until the weekend nights to do all your studying/work. And even if the weekend comes and you still have work, you can do it during the day or on Sunday.</p>
<p>And, of course, you can study/work/do fun non-party/drinking things on weekend nights. I’m just saying you can be a partier without having your work suffering. Personally, I’m not a fan of heavy drinking (but I don’t mind in the least when my friends do it), and I often switch between going out with my closer, partying friends or doing calm things with other friends on weekends. I know you can do both, because I do. And I see most everyone handle their work responsibly when it comes time to study, no matter how much they party or drink to unwind in their spare time.</p>
<p>The student who drinks or parties is no less innately intellectual or academic than the one who does not. Ever read Plato’s Symposium? It’s all about a bunch of the most brilliant ancient Greeks (among them Socrates and Aristophanes) getting together for a big drinking party.</p>
<p>What you guys aren’t understanding is that I, nor the OP I suspect, cares that much about whose habits are whose and what to make of them.</p>
<p>My point was that if the thread is about college relationships, let’s talk about college relationships. I was saying that people should stay focused on the topic and that the response “hardly any relationships, mostly hook-ups–silly high-schooler” wasn’t really helpful…</p>
<p>^You’re totally missing the point. The response “hardly any relationships, mostly hook-ups–silly high schooler” is the truth, so yes it is helpful, regardless of whether you like it or not. And if you do actually care whether or not other people drink and party you’re in for a rough four years. It’s gonna happen wherever you go.</p>
<p>MOST serious relationships in college are so… annoying. Now I am a guy who is against hooking up, I don’t hook up. I have long term relationships. I’m in one right now. However I maintain that I have a life. Most serious relationships I see in college are just so annoying to look at. These couples come in a package deal, they never leave one another. They can’t live without eachother. But they don’t see it, they live in their own little world. I know a few couples who are hated (they don’t know it) because they ditch their friends in order to just be together.</p>
<p>Most of my friends who are in a serious relationship take it a little too serious, and end up putting in way too much time for their significant other. To the point where they don’t even hang out with their friends anymore. Some to the point where their grades go down the pooper. And when they break up, they are in a huge spiral of depression that they can’t get out of, and they end up getting back together, and then they end up breaking up again. I’ve seen it many times. </p>
<p>Now of course there are the mature serious relationships. The kind of couples who actually balance their schoolwork and friends with their relationship. They don’t excessively hang out with their significant other like their life depended on it. They do not come in a package deal, and they are their own person, with their own individual personality. These come in a rare breed though. Most couples I meet are inseparable. </p>
<p>That being said, dating in college can either be mostly hooking up, or serious relationships. However when I mean serious relationships, I mean annoying serious relationships. In college, you have so much freedom. You are able to spend time with your significant other much more than a typical high school relationship. However given that freedom, some people use it to it’s full potential, to the point where the relationship becomes too unhealthy. </p>
<p>So please kids. Do not spend too much time with your significant other in college. Have a life. Do not live and breathe your relationship. Please. Schoolwork and a healthy social life should always come first.</p>
<p>@Wiscongene: OP was asking what to expect in college, so telling the OP that college life consists mostly of hookups with a fair number of relationships is indeed appropriate.</p>
<p>Also, I agree with Dooplizz in some respect. A few of the couples I know (one of my roommates and her boyfriend) are like practically married. They never leave each other’s side. I literally have not seen them apart in months, and I live with the girl. They don’t go out or do any kind of activities besides be in her room - they never leave the house except for classes. Neither of them have any other friends, which I cannot get my head around (my other roommate’s boyfriend is here a lot, but he and my roommate are friendly and social most of the time, and both are interested in having other friends and doing other things as well). Perhaps it’s because I really don’t do commitment so the idea of being in a relationship rubs me the wrong way, but I couldn’t imagine spending ALL of your time with one singular person and not EVER doing anything else. And I see that somewhat frequently in college, though there are plenty of people in healthy relationships as well.</p>
<p>And Wiscongene, yeah, if hook-ups are the most prevalent, it makes sense to talk about them on a college dating thread because there are not a lot of relationships in college and if you think so you ARE being a silly high-schooler. I go to Madison and hookups are definitely more prevalent. So is the party scene. You’re going to have to learn how to peacefully coexist with it. Sure, you can find like-minded people, but it’s always going to be there.</p>
<p>Yeah, sometimes it seems like my friend’s girlfriend is in our dorm more often than he is. And then I don’t see him for like three days because he lives in her dorm. And when he comes back, she’s with him. I mean, that sort of thing doesn’t annoy me, like it does Dooplizz, but it is a near limitless source of poking fun at him.</p>
<p>dooplizz’s post is more like a warning against codependence than against LTRs if you ask me. a healthy LTR doesn’t involve staying in one or the other’s house all day just snuggling, day in and day out. a healthy LTR starts with two fulfilled people who click with each other, not two needy people trying to fill a void with someone.</p>
<p>e: yeah I don’t get why he’s actually annoyed by it either</p>
<p>I also think it has a lot to do with what else is going on in your lives. Two couples essentially live in my apartment. One of them never does anything or talks to anyone else or has any friends. That’s not ideal, and they’re really annoying. The other couple (two of my best friends, actually) is together almost as much, but they have other friends and like to hang out with me and our friends. They’re okay being apart. They do things, we all go out together sometimes, stuff like that. They care about being social with other people. I mean, do what you want, but constant contact to the exclusion of everything else just seems like a sad life, especially if you break up one day.</p>
<p>UPDATE: Wow it’s crazy how my state of mind changes after a few years…my perception of college wasn’t the same as my reality. I didn’t end up living on campus or attending a university but I still had a skewed vision of college. I probably watched too much TV </p>
<p>Well so far I haven’t really dated, only exchanged numbers and talked but not go through with hanging out. Most of these guys were off campus and not going to any school so I kinda lost interest.</p>
<p>College isn’t hook up central 24/7, actually you can hardly tell who’s seeing who. At least my college since everyone commutes.</p>