<p>Im following several currently active threads discussing the ins and outs, the pros and cons and the possible alternatives to (eating clubs?) the Greek life on campus. The topic seems to elicit a rather high emotional response by a considerable number of posters a love/hate relationship for certain. In all sincerity and without intent to disparage or snark I dont get it what is this all about. Is also bet Im not the only one who is somewhat mystified by the whole thing .</p>
<p>My parents are first generation immigrants and therefore the American College Scene was not part of their heritage. As for myself, my Alma Mater did not have a Greek system at the time I attended. Hubby was part of a frat house for a year. His tales involve an awful lot of debauchery and when he took our D to visit the house during a college tour her comment was simply Id never want to touch that carpet in bare feet that place is absolutely gross! Hubby thought some of the original dust and beer cans from his tenure were still in their original place!</p>
<p>Ds school has an somewhat active Greek life but its certainly not one of the main attractions. She briefly looking into rushing .and decided not too because in her opinion it was a rather expensive way to purchase housing and to buy friends. Plus it demanded a large time commitment which would have precluded her from participating in many other activities and programs. Now, at the end of her sophomore year, her overall impression is one stays off of frat row and she has no regrets about passing on a sorority life.</p>
<p>I know I can ferret out the information and history of the whole Greek system a weekend spent with books and some good wine would salve my curiosity. However, Ive learned much here and this seems like a good place to start </p>
<p>Consolation: if you look read my post closely it is clear that this was D’s impresion. Are you suggesting I should not mention this, that D may/should not have impression or that one must be very very careful in wording thoughts on CC?</p>
<p>No, you are correct. I think that your D is mistaken, though, about the “buying friends” thing, but if that’s how she viewed it she obviously made the right decision for her. Her other concerns are perfectly rational, if they apply. At S’s school, the option of living in a house is not, to my knowledge, more expensive than living in a dorm, and it is covered just the same by FA. This obviously varies by school, and at some schools it is cheaper to live in a house and eat there than to live in a dorm with a meal plan. S did choose to live in his house for almost 2 years, but has now moved out and is enjoying the relative peace and quiet and the clean bathrooms in the dorm. One needn’t live in the house to be a member, and he says he wished he had moved out sooner.</p>
<p>I have never belonged to a Greek organization, myself, but I have observed at least one up close and personal, and the members were definitely not “buying friends.” (Also, that particular house was clean and well-maintained. My S’s house is a scene of unbelievable squalor. )</p>
<p>I think that you will find what you need to know simply by searching these threads. If you want personal testimonials about the value of Greek Life, they are in there, including mine. </p>
<p>Well here we go again :), but I have to mention something similar my friend’s son said. One of the reasons he did not want to join a frat was because “he didn’t see why he should have to pay money to have other kids tell him what to do”. </p>
<p>I agree with you dietz, if that was her impression then the that was what she felt after being introduced to the Greek experience on her campus. It might have been different somewhere else. </p>
<p>And we all know from those “wonderful” college tours that the impression we and our students get from the tour guides affected whether our student wanted to apply or run forever away from a particular school.</p>
<p>Saying that Greek members “buy” their friends is nonsensical and said out of meanness. The money that members pay does not go to other members in exchange for friendship. No one is being paid. The money goes to the national organization and to pay the chapters’ expenses. The comment is stupid and mean.</p>
<p>Consolation: If I look back on D’s reaction (the ‘buying’ friends part) I can understand where that may have come from. I lived at home during my college years and so I admire D and all the kids who walk onto a campus, knowing very very few people and starting a whole new social life. In my experience, D hung with the few people she knew in HS for the first quarter and slowly started making her new friends. If during that vulnerable time a student is approached by an organization promising a rapid sisterhood and kinship, …it can easily be seen as way to buy into friendships and security. No insult was intended.</p>
<p>Bay…wow…I’m sure D did not consider herself mean in her assessment. One of the things my family does rather well is say what they think and know that they won’t be immediately judged as mean or judged at all. It is something that has lead to growth, re-evaluation, continued learning and a generosity of spirit. </p>
<p>A courtesy I have no right to expect to be extended here since in one sentence you have referred to me and D as stupid and mean. Then again name calling and aggressiveness is an effective defense mechanism.</p>
<p>MizzBee: thanks for the links…I guess I will have to open that wine and have me a good read this weekend after all :)</p>
<p>I suppose it is not out of the realm of possibility, but I cannot imagine a student being approached by a Greek member who offers friendship in exchange for money. Are you saying that is what happened to your daughter? How does the promise of “rapid sisterhood and kinship” get translated into a promise of “friends in exchange for money”?</p>
<p>dietz, it DOES come across as mean and insulting, even if it wasn’t meant that way in this case. Partly because it is one of the standard insults hurled by certain parties on CC. People are sensitized to it.</p>
<p>Another way in which S’s school is different from your D’s experience is that rush does not occur until sophomore year, so kids have plenty of time to make friends with all and sundry before deciding whether to join one of the houses (which include frats, sororities, and coed societies). In reality, since first years are all housed together, it seems as if many of them bond most closely with floormates. They aren’t “buying friends” by joining a house any more than they are “buying friends” by paying to live in a dorm</p>
<p>Consolation: Again, as someone who has spent very very little time or brain cycles on this subject I had no idea this phrasing would place me on such a landmine of emotion. D was surprised by the fees involved that is for sure, and as someone whose mom sent her off with no words of wisdom or insight on the subject, whatever encounter she had resulted in such an assessment.</p>
<p>I just think nerves are still a little raw to some. Of the links I posted, there are many more. I don’t even think I pulled the one that likened my behavior (said behavior was working inside the system to romote change) to condoning apartheid. </p>
<p>There is something deeply divisive about this issue. Maybe because we can’t attack one anothers politics directly in most threads we pick fights aboutcertain issues, like Greek Life, affirmative action, student debt, Ivy League obsessions.</p>
<p>MizzBee…I’ve started on some of your links. Very informative, but since it is to early for wine in my timezone, I will have to leave most of the reading for later this evening.</p>
<p>And to those upon whose toes, gentility and sensibility I have trodden with my uninformed words…mea culpa mea culpa mea maxima culpa - I hadn’t anticipated nor psyched myself up for the personal attacks.</p>
<p>Once you have read the links, lurk on over to Greek chat website if you up for it. One of my besties thinks it is akin to reading about a tribal culture.</p>
<p>^^ good tip
I just went over there, again to local school site and there are some VERY complete descriptions of the rush process at that particular school.</p>
<p>Thank you, Bay. I don’t get the “buying friends” either. Friends are made, and it happens to be in an organization in which there are dues required. I automatically discount any comments by anyone who thinks that; it’s just too stupid for words. Like or don’t like the Greek system; that implies that you could “buy” your way into a given house with enough money – even if no one liked you – and that isn’t the case.</p>
<p>This always makes little sense to me, because Greek houses love to brag about how their members are involved in (cue litany of student organizations and extracurricular activities). Why would they brag about it and simultaneously take up so much time that their members couldn’t participate in them?</p>
<p>My organization requires actives to participate in at least one campus activity, and I know of many other groups, both fraternity and sorority that require it too in order to remain in good standing. Still I know that I am encouraging DS not to load up on the clubs his first semester of college since pledging will take up time, and he doesn’t want to miss the fun stuff.</p>
<p>Going back to the thread title. It is only a big deal to those who care about it. At some campuses Greek life is important, at others it is insignificant to the vast majority of the students. It is something to consider when choosing a college- don’t go to one where it would get in your way if you are not a part of it.</p>
One needn’t live in the house to be a member, and he says he wished he had moved out sooner.</p>
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