<p>
</p>
<p>Agree with all the others on this. Growing up in a large family, I never really had a lot of personal space, so this didn’t really bother me when I went away to college. In our home it’s easy for my kids to find somewhere quiet to hang out whenever they feel the need. My son has spent 2 weekends at home since he started college, primarily so he could have some “down” time and to be around familiar people.</p>
<p>No longer a freshman, but last year it was eye-opening for him to have peers who had never been around anyone but white suburbanites. (He’s a lifelong city-dweller.) Along similar lines, he was amazed that so many of the restaurants in town were chains!</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>I think this is why some colleges are building “Super Suites” res halls. These are 4 bedroom private rooms with a shared living rm, kitchenette, and 2 bathrooms. Kids can be alone in their rooms. Also, no sexiling goes on. </p>
<p>My kids are in “Super Suites” at UAlabama. I know Auburn, UAH, Cal Poly SLo and a few others have recently built some.</p>
<p>To get an idea of what I mean…here is a link to my DS2 dorm…scroll down for floorplan and more pics… one child per room. <a href=“http://housing.ua.edu/ridgecrestsouth.cfm[/url]”>http://housing.ua.edu/ridgecrestsouth.cfm</a></p>
<p>As for the mom who posted that her D needs some “deeper” friends…she might see if her school offers “substance free” dorms. These are res halls where the occupants agree not to drink or anything - even if they are over 21. Also, some dorms are “quiet dorms” which have strict “no noise” policies after certain hours…certainly those students are probably more serious and mature.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I have to respectfully disagree with that. Just because someone is quiet and doesn’t drink, doesn’t mean he/she is more serious and mature, or is more capable of forming a “deeper” relationship.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Daughter (years ago): required core humanities course filled with students who didn’t know how to read poetry, didn’t care to learn, thought it was appropriate to take up class time expressing their hostility – just like high school.</p></li>
<li><p>Son (fewer years ago): roommate from sheltered environment overdoing it with drinking, annoying</p></li>
<li><p>Friend (home for the weekend, a couple of hours ago): It’s wearing spending most of your time with people who are trying to re-invent themselves. Also, should have taken more courses outside of my comfort zone, have a couple of classes where nothing new is being learned.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Re sub-free dorms: A close college-age friend had a great freshman experience in a sub-free dorm at a sub-saturated college, but no one would have called this kid “mature” (unless by “mature” they meant “obedient”).</p>
<p>My D’s pet peeve is how dorm mates leave messes in the shared bathroom/showers on the floor. She is not the neatest person in the world either, so it must be really bad for it to bother her.</p>
<p>Ok so I think my child is either clueless or the most flexible person around - he has NO complaints or pet peeves about anything at all. Granted, it is still early but when I ask him about dorm life, classes, etc. he always says everything is just wonderfult-could not be better! I even asked him if there was anything that was a bit annoying (roomate, hallmates, noise, lack of privacy) and he said “just you asking me if all is ok”! Ouch!</p>
<p>My daughter’s pet peeve was her roommate wanted the lights out early (8:00 classes). Her roommate’s pet peeve was that my daughter wanted to have her lamp on late at night. They survived. And now, fall of her second year of college, daughter has 8 a.m. classes two mornings a week…</p>
<p>Quote from number one son(text) “These drunken louts are a blot on the face of higher education”</p>
<p>My son’s a sophomore, but looking back on last year, he’d say his pet peeve was the immaturity he saw on his dorm floor. He made other friends over the course of the year and complained less and less about his fellow floor-mates. By the middle of the year, his biggest complaint was the food, but as a freshman, he was forced to have a meal plan. Sophomore year is all good!</p>
<p>I really believe that it is a maturity issue with my daughter (not substance free/partying issue). She spent many years very ill (from 12 - 16) with a chronic illness and really became “an old soul” when she went into remission (knock wood). She knows that her health and life are precious and does not take them for granted (as many adolescents do). I will encourage her to join perhaps some community service type club or some club or organization that she may be interested in to try to broaden her horizons. She is not alone (she has loads of sorority sister/friends and study buddies and hometown friends that she still hangs with. She just would like meet more people with depth (for lack of a better word). She is in a supersuite dorm and loves it btw (so she has her private space) and her best friends from high school have a suite right upstairs.</p>
<p>My son has made not one complaint. Not one. Not about the school, not about his roommate and basically only shown concern for the suitemate who seemed to have gotten on a party/sleep schedule and so they held an “intervention” to get him back on track. I am sure he has things that are bugging him, but if I channel his being and I come up with only one… </p>
<p>His mother is driving him nuts!!! She wants to hear from him with some regularity as if it’s proof of life. And she insists he check his mail when she sends time sensitive materials like cookies. He honestly thought “friending” her on facebook would negate the need to call home but it hasn’t quite worked that way. She asks questions like, how are you doing and what’s new? Soooo annoying. :)</p>
<p>There is a lot of defensiveness around these parts, I think, from parents who know their kids drink, which mightily eases social interaction among strangers (which is really what these kids are). If a kid is not a drinker, for whatever reason, and is used in high school to having two or three or four very close friends, first semester college can be a cold and lonely place (no matter how many acquaintances). </p>
<p>On another topic, my S speaks to both me and my husband very frequently. If it eases his transition–why not? Personally, I don’t think a son’s not speaking to his mom for weeks on end is necessarily something to brag about. :)</p>
<p>D’s peeve was “heavy shedders”, the girls with very thick and long hair that left a lot behind in the bathroom and showers. I told her not to call them that to their faces.</p>
<p>S complains that the school sends him too much email.</p>
<p>Also that his mother keeps trying to push warm clothing on him… but I’m not going to count that.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I honestly hope this was not directed at me based on my post above in what was intended to be a tongue in cheek “complaint” about asserting independence. Considering it’s from someone seemingly new to the board, I will turn the other cheek but still clarify that son calls like clockwork after classes on Thursday. And I will admit that the last care package I sent did include mittens, but he asked for them. :)</p>
<p>Modadunn, I posted about my S’s lack of comm. earlier in the thread so that comment could be shot in my direction too. I am certain that I drive S2 nuts with too many emails. I do find that he is better about returning emails (sometimes) than having long ph. conversations.</p>
<p>S2, now a soph didn’t complain tooo much but like most freshman, he quickly tired of the cafeteria food. Another complaint might have been the suite bathroom, one shower,one sink,one toilet (all circa 1962) shared by eight guys, the heat in the dorm that necessitated keeping the window open most of the winter or the bright street light directly across from his window that lit up his room like a football field at night. This was easily handled with a black bedsheet and yards of duct tape…voila.
So really most complaints were minor and I really didn’t hear him complain about things that often.
But then again…I really just don’t hear from him that often…not bragging.</p>
<p>I’m a fresman. My pet peeves- the broken heated in my room (I’m in Cleveland and it’s already freezing here), and people who don’t respect quiet hours (11pm to 8am weeknights). Twice a week I have to be up at 6:30am for a 7:30 lifeguarding shift and I hate it when I can’t get to sleep because my neighbors are being obnoxiously loud or blaring music/ a movie at 1am.</p>
<p>My Ss have complained about the “holier than thou” students, who lecture others about their personal habits, religion, choice of major, video gaming, dietary or drinking habits, etc. My kids believe in live & let live. As long as no one is preventing them from studying or sleeping, doing anything illegal, or taking their stuff, they try to be adaptable. They enjoy polite debates. One kid had a born again roommate who spent freshman year trying to convert him. While S wasn’t converted, he was willing to go to church with this roommate once or twice to see what it was about. </p>
<p>My kids have said that there are too many freshmen who become shocked, angry, judgmental and/or insulting when they encounter others with different beliefs. They’ve opined its very “high school.”</p>
<p>D’s roomie wanted lights out by 9:00 on the weekdays and got irritated if D came in later than that. D is not totally nocturnal but doesn’t go to bed THAT early. They have worked it out.</p>
<p>Other D is in a different dorm and she so far has had no complaints other than the dining hall being closed on weekend afternoons.</p>