<p>I wrote this essay as part of a practice test i took today and wanted you guys to grade it for me. I dont think it is good but whatever...</p>
<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation comes from within.
Adapted from blah blah blah...</p>
<p>Assignment: What motivates people to change? (rest of the collegeboard directions)</p>
<pre><code> "Change we can believe in!" is a popular slogan for senator Obama's 2008 presidential campaign. When a certain lifestyle or philosophy no longer caters to a persons needs and wants, he will look to alter his current situation for a better alternative. People change all the time, changing everything from their personal attitudes to community ideals to national government agendas. When there is an opportunity for a better way of life, people change to benefit themselves and society in general.
Hardship is the most obvious reason that people change. The Obama campaign has capitalized on this trait of humans because many Americans lost their jobs under the Bush administration. Senator Obama gives speeches that suggest that voting for John McCain would be voting for the status quo, the same leadership that lead to America's decline [bad word choice, i know]. By appealing to voters fear of an economic depression and looming hardships, Obama is able to clearly relay a message of change for the better.
Winston Smith is the protagonist in 1984, a novel by George Orwell. His society is on a track towards total brainwashing. Many of the freedoms enjoyed by Americans today would be banned and unheard of in Smith's society. Winston risked his life and his remaining freedom by expressing his love for Julia. By creating a relatoinship with Julia, Winston changed to satisfy his desire for love, even though he risked torture and death. Another example of altering one's personality comes from Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. In the beginning of the book, Huck treats Jim and the other slaves with disrespect, tricking them and getting them in trouble frequently. As the book progresses, and Huck spends time with Jim on the raft, Huck changes his views. He now respects Jim, declaring that he would rather go to hell than return Jim to slavery.
Changing ones mind or heart is difficult, whereas changing for personal benefit is easy. However, human conscience dictates what is right and wrong. When you let your heart speak your mind, humankind is put first because the heart is where you care for others. A change of heart is always for the better, no matter how risky it may seem!
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<p>Yeah, um, so thats it... After reading through it, I've seen what needs to be changed, but please feel free to critique it and give me advice. I took this practice test from the first version of the blue book for the new SAT so it should still be relevant, right?</p>