My boyfriend and I met in the laundry room. We lived in the same dorm, were part of the same friend group, and had a club in common, but a conversation over coffee and laundry was what made us develop crushes on each other. We discovered that both of us had been going to breakfast at the same time every day, both alone, and he kindly asked me if I wanted to eat breakfast together. After our term break, we went to dinner together a couple of times and the rest is history. I’d let the small crush happen. Ask her in person if she wants to grab coffee in the dining hall, and let the relationship proceed at its own pace. Just make sure you keep up on your academics too–my boyfriend and I have an agreement that school comes first for now, and we always support each others’ need to do our schoolwork, and help each other when we can.
Okay I was in the middle of a hilarious CAH session with a group of classmates and then she showed up. We all had a great time and we even took a group selfie at the end of it.
I should probably just not think too much about it and it should come naturally. Like sleeping. Is that a good approach?
Well, maybe not “sleeping,” but, yeah, move through things naturally as the moments unfold, and lean-in moments present themselves. I tell my oldest kid to “lean-in” to let a girl know that yes, he is listening, and, yes, he finds what she says interesting, and so may be open for more.
Yes…take it naturally. Yes…ask about her interests and hobbies. That is a great natural instinct.
I don’t think you should ask to go to the group outing…that just puts her in a different position; she has to consider what the group will think, if they are ok with it, etc etc, whereas if you ask just her to a one on one, she only has to consider what she wants. And if she says no, you won’t know if it was more about the group, or more about you. Or, if YOU have any friend group things coming up, invite her to that.
It sounds like things are going great. It seems like an opportunity to ask her if she wants to meet in the dining hall for lunch or dinner would come up pretty easily. Good luck!
It seems like we’re both kinda busy for now. We both have papers to write. Maybe I’ll ask before Thanksgiving if we could hang out and ask about our Thanksgiving break plans.
Oh come on now…nobody is too busy to chat, to eat a meal or have coffee! Just keep it simple for starters and then hopefully you can do something significant over TG break. It sounds like you’re getting cold feet! Don’t let this one slip away before you know if you two could be a thing! Relax.
@Empireapple Well, as wonderful as that will be, I just got 2 major essays to do before TG break. I’ll perhaps shoot a text every now and then to ask about how her essay is going and focus on that till the break.
Well OneWhoTalks if she gets away blame yourself. You have to make an effort which doesn’t take much time.
@Empireapple I know. I do really want to at least get through the friendzone but dang do we not have the time to hang out. Gotta get my priorities in line, ya know?
If you’re in the same class you could grab coffee and work at the same time in the dining hall… don’t have to work together but sometimes having someone near you working on the same thing is nice
I’d say be brave and ask her out!
My boyfriend and I met at a party - we really clicked while talking and he asked me for my snapchat. After texting and snapchatting for a few days, he asked me out on a date - ice skating and dinner! Turns out he had a crush on me for a while (we run in social circles that intersect a little) and finally mustered the courage to go all in. I found his straightforwardness refreshing - I didn’t have to wonder if he liked me or not, asking me on a date made it really clear! Maybe I’m an outlier, but I would assume that a lot of other girls feel the same way!
So I guess my advice would be to establish a rapport and get a better sense of her interest in you over a few days/weeks over snapchat as well as when you see her in person, and then to ask her to go do something. It doesn’t have to be a “formal date” like dinner, (getting coffee would be great!) but asking her to do something that means spending time together one-on-one will make your intentions clear!
Sorry for the SUPER late reply! Finals, vacations, whatnot.
So, any advice on how to engage her through text?
Do you have her number or email? Just start texting.
Just text her and ask about her holiday? Tell her you’d like to take her out for coffee or an ice cream when you get back on campus. Ask what she likes to do in her spare time. Keep in contact by texting (weekly is good) and make a firm plan a few days before you both head back. That is IMPORTANT. Do not just keep her engaged via text without a plan. What a great way to start Semester #2 !! Good luck.
What kinds of plans would you suggest?