She gave me her number and her Snapchat. What should I say to gauge her interest? Should I just ask about her hobbies?
Text her an invite her for tea/coffee. It can even be in the dining hall.
My advice is always to not come on too strong. If she is one of your classes, ask her about a homework problem. Maybe get a group of people to go to a campus event and invite her. Watch her snapchat to see what she shows she is interested in.
We only have a lecture together, so the homework thing is not really an option. It’s for Honors English and we don’t get hw until the discussion section, which we don’t share. That should provide some more context.
Be a good friend first. Be kind, be honest, be reliable. Enjoy the crush, it’s an exciting feeling that doesn’t happen everyday. Be brave, invite her for coffee or ice cream. Relax, have fun.
Today “kids” just start talking/communicating back and forth on their phones. It’s very common to have a snapchat streak where you keep it going everyday. Like the others have said, ask her to do something. Will you see her around campus…just talk. Walk together. Let things evolve to hanging out. Have fun with it! Enjoy this time in your life.
Just be yourself & be willing to listen.
As for what NOT to do, do not ask for her ring size.
If she gave you her number and snapchat she’s open to getting together. See if she wants to grab breakfast before class, lunch after class, coffee between classes. Ask her to go hiking, go the movies, visit a local museum, etc.
Do you recommend I ask to hang out over Snapchat or in person?
offer to get her a coffee sometime or grab one WITH her. 99.9% of all college students need caffeine at least a couplee times a week to keep them going…
ask her for lunch
Be brave, face to face!
If you can, seek her out before your lecture and say “hey [crush], would you like to go grab a coffee after class?”.
When I first read this thread I thought you were kidding. However, recently I watched an interesting documentary that tracked college students and young professionals on dating behaviors and this professor at BC determined that this whole generation doesn’t know “how” to date. Social media, texting, etc has changes so many things. It was amazing to watch these kids admit they found it easier (less stressful) to “hook up” with a random person than actually have a face to face conversation in a date like environment. SO much so that the prof taught a course on how to date, with appropriate behavior, etiquette, assignments (like asking someone out in person for a real date and going on that date).
Hard to believe we’ve come to that, but we have.
Be brave. It will take getting out of your comfort zone. But trust me, when He/she says “yes” it will be the greatest feeling you’ve ever had (more so than the random “hook up”).
Good luck!
She’s going with some friends (girls and guys mix) to a movie. I’ll ask if I can tag along. Does that seem like a good plan? Thankfully I don’t have tests this Friday.
I would ask her out to coffee or lunch or a movie as a proper date, not as a tag along. You don’t want to be just “one of the guys”. That would be fine later if you were dating and were just going out as a group but it makes it sound more like you’re truing to become part of the group vs. taking her out. Easy to misinterpret that.
Who knows, maybe she’s hoping you’ll ask her out.
Be brave and do it.
In terms of dating culture today vs maybe 20 years ago, people choosing to hook up is not because they don’t know how to date, it’s because they don’t want the complications of dates. It can be quite constraining for many. Depends where you’re at and what you want but hookups can be plenty healthy. Just because the current romantic landscape isn’t the same as X years ago doesn’t mean that one is better or “right”. Both have their pros and cons. It’s evolved and the “classic” dating model isn’t nearly as common. Maybe we shouldn’t learn how to “date” but refine the current evolutions of dating and understand what caused the changes. I’d note that the divorce rate is explicitly dropping because of the younger generation, so something is going right with this new-fangled system, yeah?
Just get to know her. Coffee / a meal is prob the best call, can just talk and get to know each other. If it’s natural you can hang out more or go on a “formal date”. Asking in person or on snapchat doesn’t matter IMO, it’s about the time spent in person and how that time comes about doesn’t really make a difference.
I’ve been involved with about six people in college for times ranging from one night to a few weeks to a few years. Never once did I go on a “date”. I also know people who did Tinder/Bumble/etc dates, and people who asked people out. Just do whatever feels natural. Most importantly, just spend time and get to know the person you’re interested in.
Basically @NorthernMom61 hit the nail on the head with her first post.
I met my husband when I was a freshman in college, became a couple sometime during mid-sophomore year. There was a spark, an attraction, but that started a friendship that eventually evolved into a romantic relationship. I don’t think we “dated” in the old dinner and a movie sense, because neither of us had any money for that. We were friends and shared what we had, talked, would hang out and watch TV late at night after I got done studying. That was in 1980-1981. I think the things that really lead to a meaningful relationship have been the same for centuries. My husband is still my best most trusted friend.
Be friendly, be friends, talk, learn about each other, and maybe trust and love will evolve. Maybe not. But don’t throw away that crush, just in case!
Definitely face to face and away from the other guys. Invite her to anything. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated.
@rickle1 I disagree…i think being part of the group is a good idea at first. Try to casually end up sitting next to her. I met my husband as part of a freshman group of people who hung out.
After that grab coffee or something.
If that goes well, then perhaps ask about a date.