What should my daughter do to become a highly competitive applicant in the admissions process?

Applying to College
1

Hi everyone,

As the mom of a soon to be 9th grader that wishes to attend one of her top 3 college choices (Harvard, Yale, or Stanford), I want to know things she should do in high school that would increase her chances even though it is early.

She is already extremely bright as she was one of fifteen students selected out four hundred students to receive a full ride scholarship to an amazing and prestigious private high school in our area (selections are based on middle school stats, extracurricular activities, and scores on a test they administered). She wants to pursue law and plans to complete the pre-law program at this new school. She has also been told that she is a good writer by several teachers.

How she should develop her spike, what should she do to display her intellectual vitality, should her volunteer work align with her spike, and what can she do to make herself one of the most competitive applicants applying.

Thanks

2

Your guidance counselors at your amazing and prestigious private high school are likely to be able to advise you better than random strangers on the internet like me. What I have read and what sounds right to me is that you shouldn’t force her ‘volunteer work to align with her spike’, but rather push her to explore things that she is interested in to the furthest extent possible, and let these things emerge organically.

Colleges love spiky kids, but they also like strong all-rounders.

But honestly, if this private school is anywhere near as good as you say then the counselor probably already has a plan. Talk to them.

And for god’s sake let your kid be a kid. 9th grade is a perfect time for exploring a wide range of interests to whatever depth she can manage. When something sparks her interest, her spike will appear.

3

She should “apply sideways”:

http://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/applying_sideways

Specifically, she should not worry about trying to impress her “top 3”, but should continue to do well in school (curriculur rigor, grades, and standardized tests), develop her interests for their own sake, not to impress colleges, and develop as a person. Don’t focus on “developing her spike”, “aligning” volunteer work with her spike, or “displaying her intellectual vitality” - things done for those reaosns will come across as artificial and forced. OTOH, if those (and other) things are done spontaenously out of a genuine love and interest, that will come across loud and clear.

The question I would ask an applicant is “even if it might hurt your future college chances, would you do it anyway”? If so, then do it. She will end up a more interesting and enriched person, and probably a better applicant, regardless of whether she gets in to one of her top 3 choices (which may well change). Every year there are tons of kids on CC who are bitter because they have spent years targeting their dream schools and doing things that they thought would impress, only to not get in.

4

A ninth grader shouldn’t have 3 top college choices, no matter how bright and talented she is. I’d stop any talk of that right now. She should focus on doing well in school and participating in ECs she enjoys, inside or outside of school. She may or may not end up at one of those schools. But they may not even be best in her planned major or an atmosphere she likes, they may not be affordable, or she may not get in no matter what she does now. Right now her preference can only be based on perceived prestige – a ninth grader doesn’t know any more about it than that. And that is a TERRIBLE basis to decide which colleges to apply to.

5

The best thing you can do for your kid is encourage her to build a well rounded college list of likely, possible, and reach schools that your family can afford to send her to. (Learn what net price calculators are and run them.)

Some parents get the idea that it’s their job to help the kid get into the school of their dreams. It’s not. Don’t grouse about having to drive her to extracurricular activities or having to pay for another SAT prep book or contest entry fee, but for the most part getting into college is her job, not yours.

Your job is to try and keep her grounded and secure if she joins the elite college admissions fray.

6

Well intparent,

Maybe your 9th grader doesn’t have goals for future colleges but mine definitely does. A ninth grader can strive for schools even though it is not necessary at this stage their life. In addition, she knows what she likes and does not like, and I would never force her to partake in anything she didn’t already want do. She came to us and told us what she wants to do with herself and how she wants to enrich her mind. PRESTIGE has nothing to do with the colleges she wants to apply to. Any kid can have goals for any school even if it is a top one. After my DAUGHTER researched these schools extensively, she realized that for her future major she wants to peruse these schools that would be the best fit. She simply wants to know how we can use what she already chose to do in high school (pre-law, writing, and soccer) to her overall benefit. She doesn’t need to impress any college.

Thanks

7

You and your ninth grader should read Frank Bruni’s “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be”.

You’re welcome.

8

Thank you to all others for the advice. My daughter is definitely not going to let college consume her. This is what she told me she wanted to do; even though, I want her to stay local. I will definitely continue talking with guidance counselors who have already been giving her great advice.

9

Everything about this thread cracks me up.

10

@homerdog Me too. I’ve never even heard the term “spike” before and I’ve been through the application process twice now. lol

11

Harvard, Stanford, Yale-chances are based on the limited number of seats that they have left, after you rule out and factor in the following:
-Celebrity status (Malala, child of the Obama’s) or a child of a well-known celebrity (.
-Be a large donor and donate a building-Think Bill and Melinda Gates.
-Olympic level athlete (the gymnastics team, the Ski team).
-Perfect SAT and GPAs.
-Recruited national athletes.
-International musicians/ artists
-URM with unique talents.
-Influential legacies.
Those schools are very tough to gain admission.

@intparent was being realistic and helpful. Your child needs to get through HS first. The work is tough, as are the tests.
A number of the posters here have been through this process, and do have children at the Ivies. So, they are giving you good and appropriate advice. Has your child even seen how different these schools are? Internet videos don’t count. It is definitely not the same.

12

I’m with @intparent – I disagree with the idea of a “dream school” (especially for a 9th grader) The people I see who get hurt by the college admission process are the ones who focus on one or two hyper-competitive schools and then don’t get in. The acceptance rates at the school’s your D has targeted have acceptance rates hovering around 4% - 6%. Short of being a recruited football player, a child of a mega-donor, or something along those lines there is nothing your D can do to guarantee admission to these schools regardless of how bright she is or how “spiked” her activities are.

IMO as a 9th grader there are many more valuable uses of her time than researching colleges. When the time comes (junior year) you should work to create a solid college list that includes reach, match, and safety schools that appear affordable and that your D would be happy to attend.

13

@narline1, I think your posts come off as arrogant, unpleasant and rather rude. People here are trying to help you and giving you very good advice, but rather than listening, you seem more interested in letting them know that their kids are not as special as your brilliant snowflake. I think you are a good candidate for Ivy Coach! For only $100k they will tell you exactly what you want to know and probably put up with your rudeness, too.

14

I am the mom of two ambitious and academically advanced girls - a 9th grader and a 7th grader. I think I understand where you are coming from. I have some basic advice, but first let me tell you a bit about my kids’ situation so you can put my comments in perspective.

My kids also want to reach for certain specific Ivies, since we live in the Northeast and both their parents graduated from Ivies…their dad practically lives on the campus of an Ivy and he is a Professor at an Ivy-equivalent…many of their friends have parents who went to/teach/work at Ivies. They walk through a certain Ivy’s campus every week to get to certain extracurricular activities. They therefore feel they should go to an Ivy for college, if they can get in.

I encourage their ambitions to be as well-educated and as hard-working as they like. I have no problem with them applying to an Ivy or two or three - HOWEVER - it is unhealthy and unrealistic to think that, even if they were the most amazing students ever ever ever ever, that they would have a real chance at getting in. NO ONE has a real chance of getting in. I went to an Ivy and if I applied today, I would not get in. Their father probably wouldn’t either, and he’s now a celebrated scientist. Ivy admission stats are just plain crazy these days no matter who you are or what you have accomplished. My mission therefore has been/is to make sure my girls are as well educated as possible, so that they meet the academic/transcript expectations of an Ivy, but to also make sure they see a range of different types of colleges so they do not get fixated on just Ivies over the next few years.

As I mentioned, we live in the northeast, so it is fairly easy for us to get to dozens of colleges without much trouble or fuss. I have taken my girls on quite a few college visits already to show them what’s out there - mainly to make sure they know how many great colleges exist - and they have both seen colleges they LOVE…and those colleges have 50-70% acceptance rates. Will they still apply to Ivies? Most likely, and that’s fine. But now they have a few other colleges they think are fantastic which they have a much better shot of getting into. They’ll have the opportunity to see many other colleges over the next few years.

The point of this long rambling response is to say that I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to make sure your daughter is academically prepared and an attractive candidate for an Ivy. However, my personal advice, based on a ton of reading and observing and researching, is the same advice I’d give a parent with a kid whose dream was to go to Safety School University - make sure she is enrolled in the courses that best suit her academic capabilities, and that she has everything she needs to do as well as she can in those courses. Make time for her to pursue a couple of interests deeply. Those interests can be anything - follow her lead. Make sure she knows how to manage her time well, and be sure to have her find ways to give back to her local community (often). Start with that, follow her lead, show her other colleges with much higher admit rates if you can so she can get excited about other colleges in addition to the Ivies/Ivy-equivalent.

Again, sorry this is so long - I do get your desire to make sure your daughter can shine her best during college application season. Truly though, the best thing you can do is make sure she has the right classes for her intellectual needs and the time to follow/discover passions outside the schoolroom - and introduce her to the knowledge that there are other schools she can also fall in love with that have much higher admit rates.

15

This must be your first or only child,OP. While I am sure she seems mature to you, the next 3 years will change your daughter in ways you cannot imagine. Many of my daughter’s classmates, at the end of junior year, were almost unrecognizable from how they were at the end of 8th grade. Wallflowers may blossom, stars may crash, and kids both lose and develop interests and talents in ways we can’t predict.so for now, ask her to do well in school, stay healthy, rest, exercise and try some clubs she enjoys. Breathe and enjoy 9th grade-in many ways it is the calm before the storm

16

I’m pretty sure we could all guess which schools @narline1 's 14 year old is targeting. And thinking that a 14-year old knows what she wants before she even starts high school is hilarious.

17

My youngest got in every place she applied, including a school ranked in the top 3 universities in USNWR. She was an unhooked applicant, too. So I do know what I’m talking about. Her list was carefully selected with a range of well-suited schools (USNWR rankings from top 3 down to about 60) which she would have been happy to attend. I was extremely careful to discourage her from getting her heart set on one or two top schools.

Part of your job as a parent is to keep the college search process on an even keel, not lurch toward reach only schools along with your kid. Keep an open mind about a range of schools, and encourage your kid to do the same. Sure. I watched my kid’s EC interests, and suggested things occasionally where she could build on those interests. I funded a couple summer camps related to her interests, for example (but not all super expensive ones, and none at colleges she applied to). She had a couple strong ECs, and a smattering more that reinforced her personality. She ended up with amazing choices.

She came across to colleges as genuinely interested and interesting. That is hard to push your kid into, and hard to fake. Let your kid experiment with ECs she likes. Colleges can spot a kid who has been too finely polished to a point from miles away.

18

Sports. A recruited athlete has a much better shot at Stanford, Harvard or Princeton.

19

It was Stanford, Harvard and Yale but your advice is solid. Drop everything else and concentrate on soccer for her benefit.

20

If she is already entering 9th grade and not a soccer star, it is probably too late. Female soccer stars are identified in 9th and 10th grade, according to the recruits I know.