<p>Hi everyone, could use some advice and your expertise, since my sister swears this is the most valuable resource out there for parents of college bound kids.</p>
<p>I have two issues, the first is a hump I know we will get through but its frustrating nonetheless. My daughter is a young for her age 17 year old senior. She has always been a very high achiever, always has done very well academically and has gotten into the top programs in her high school. She is ranked 45th out of 480 students, in the top 10%. She has been quite laid back however, in getting started with her applications, and essays. I feel like we are very behind the power curve....when I hear that others are nearly done with their essays and applications. I have decided (as of today) that i am going to take charge since she obviously is not managing this very well. Anyone else have this experience? </p>
<p>Second problem, what to do with a very bright, highly accomplished student who is insisting on applying to match/safety schools with very little consideration to her reach schools. She has the grades and everything else to get into a school like a UVA, or William and Mary,etc....but instead is focusing on schools much further down the list. I don't want her to have regrets later on about not reaching high enough.</p>
<p>She is a great kid really great personality, kind and giving, and the activities she does have on her resume she has been involved with for many many years. To me, she is a quality student who would be an asset to any college. I know we will get through the apps and essays but I really want to help open her eyes to the possibilities that are out there for the taking (getting into the best school possible) She is interested in nursing.</p>
<p>I wonder at times if her lack of drive in getting started is maybe her own anxiety coming into play about college, leaving home,etc.....any advice from anyone who has had this experience or something similar would be greatly appreciated!!</p>
<p>I think a lot of kids get a late start on their apps simply because it’s new to them. It’s uncharted territory and they have very little guidance on how to navigate. Let’s face it: it’s overwhelming. They just don’t know what to do or how to start. Working together to map out deadlines and a plan to reach them might be enough to clear her head and get her started.</p>
<p>As for your D’s narrow range of schools, I don’t know what to say. How did she form her opinions? From websites and brochures or actual campus visits? If she has ruled out the reach schools because she didn’t like what she saw, then I’d say let it drop. If she hasn’t toured, then I’d recommend going. If she resists, then I’d say let it drop. </p>
<p>I posted on another thread that My high achieving d had done nothing by this time for college apps and it all go done on time with 0 nagging from me. W&M doesn’t have a nursing school does it? I was a similar student in VA who had not interest in UVA as lots of kids from my HS were going there. I wanted a fresh start and applied to 3rd tier VA schools as they were not popular among my classmates.</p>
<p>I don’t want her to have regrets later on about not reaching high enough.</p>
<p>She is a young 17, from your own description. She has plenty of time to reach higher. She may not even want to go right to college after senior year, many kids take a year abroad to travel and volunteer, volunteer closer to home or work to earn money for college.</p>
<p>My oldest child did very well in high school ( also a very young 17)and applied to 4 public universities, one out of state and was accepted to all, but decided to take a year with Americorps. After that experience she applied to an additional reach school, was accepted with a large scholarship and is now in graduate school.</p>
<p>From your description of her, either allowing your daughter to attend a school where she feels comfortable, or encouraging her to take a year off if that is appealing, would be the direction I would advise.</p>
<p>Has she been on any college visits to some of the more reachy schools? Does she know what she’ll want to study? Are there any special EC’s that she’ll want to continue with?
Maybe those kinds of things will spike her interest.
OTH maybe she had decided what her comfort level is and that’s where she’ll stay.</p>
<p>darlingmom, other than your D being a “young senior” you could have been writing about my D. My D will be 18 soon (and, yes, she frequently reminds me of that fact!)</p>
<p>My strategy for motivating D to work on her apps/essays has been to start out by mentioning upcoming due dates (I try to do this somewhat casually). Then, I give her a few days to make some progress on the particular task. If I see no progress, I remind (nag?) and increase the frequency of my reminders as needed. </p>
<p>For my D, deadlines that sound like they are far off in the distance are not a motivation. She puts out her best work when something is due tomorrow. Normally, I wouldn’t interfere, but college apps are a whole new ball game-for both of us, so I am trying to balance her need to have the pressure of a looming deadline with the reality of- these can’t all be done at the last minute.</p>
<p>You could always create artificial deadlines throughout the college app season for things that aren’t critical to be turned in, but so that you can pace her work out to create less stress throughout the fall, but so she can turn in her “best work”. They can also be drafts in stages - it doesn’t have to be a complete finished product on the deadline.</p>
<p>It’s very hard to get into nursing programs these days. If your daughter is happy with her choices and they are well-respected programs at those schools she is looking at, than it’s probably not as big a problem as you think with her not reaching higher.</p>
<p>I would look at the placement rates for the nurses in those programs. What kind of practical experience do they get while obtaining their degree? Which hospitals/medical clinics do they partner with for this training?</p>
<p>Neither of my boys had essays in September. My older son basically finished his the weekend before early action deadlines were due. My younger son got them mostly finished by early October because the teacher who was writing the recommendation wanted to see the essays. He also had an AP Euro teacher who was encouraging students to have him look over essays.</p>
<p>As to the OP, looking for good nursing programs is not the same set of schools that a top student would necessarily be looking at, but there is nothing wrong with that. I’m a big believer in a gap year - especially for language immersion.</p>
<p>I think this is a situation in which you should invoke the “parent’s choice” clause. :)</p>
<p>Many parents have said that their kid could apply anywhere they wished–and could afford–but that in addition they must apply to one school of the parent’s choice. It doesn’t mean that they have to go there, but it does mean that they are not closing off a certain option too early. </p>
<p>Many changes can take place between September and May. Kids change their minds, kids mature. In addition, as we all know, most kids change their majors at least once during their college career. An interest in nursing may turn into something completely different two or three years from now. Make sure she knows that. Do not attempt to dissuade her from her interest in nursing, but urge her simply to keep her options open, so that she has choices in May and choices in the years after that.</p>
<p>I kind of took over DS list and added schools to it that I thought would be good candidates. If it were up to him he only would have applied to one place. He may end up going there, but at least he will have other choices next spring. In addition, we are hoping for merit aid, and what type of aid would a school give if they saw there was no competition to entice him away from?</p>
<p>I am in the same situation however I did invoke parent’s choice - I have put two selective schools on her list but I have not forced her to visit…the deal we have is if she gets in, we will go see these schools and consder them in her final decision. </p>
<p>What I have learned through bits and pieces of info is that she has a “why bother” attitude towards the very/more selective schools even though her stats are right there. I think the media, peers and counselors have “over dramatized” the need to go to a prestigous school that it has turned alot of kids off. </p>
<p>Several of my D’s friends applied to nursing programs last year and a number of them got into top schools (UPenn) but chose to go to Big State U - their rational was at the end of the day we are all taking the same nursing exam, why pay 200K to become a nurse when I can pay 80K.</p>
<p>Another trend I am seeing in our community is a backlash towards anything branded or prestigous…we live in a fairly affluent community and the new status car is a hybrid Honda or Toyota, branded pocketbooks and jeans are not worn by the “in crowd”, the hot family vacation is helping kids in Africa, no more McMansions but green renovated 100 year homes (more expensive than new!), and so on. There are still status symbols but not the conventional items that have been hyped in the media…</p>
<p>I understand the rationale to save money - if that nurse can get the same job whether the degree was $80 or $200K, it doesn’t seem that hard to figure out. Perhaps the child will want to go on with nursing and become a Nurse Practioner? </p>
<p>Does anyone have statistics on placement of a school like UPenn for nursing vs. Penn State? </p>
<p>In California, if you want to become a K-12 teacher, the path is the Cal States or the Private colleges, not the UC. I believe it is the same for nursing.</p>
<p>darlingmom, The nursing program at UVA is topnotch and the school is a great deal for instate kids. However, it’s still early days, unless your D is planning to apply early decision or early action, which UVA doesn’t even have (don’t know about W & M). At many elite schools, the application deadline for the regular decision cycle aren’t due until Jan. 1. In consequence, my son started writing his essays last year on Dec. 29 :-0.</p>
<p>A match school might be just fine and could give more aid than a reach school. In fact it is a strategy of many students to only apply where their stats match or are on the high side so they can hopefully get merit money. She also may not want to be in a highly competitive environment. Unfortunately some of our kids get burnt out in HS.</p>
<p>As a nurse for almost 30 years. I can tell you that the nursing school and instructors are only part of the picture. Having practicums at hospitals that have progressive, assertive, high caliber staff has a great influence on how a nurse views her role in patient care. I did my practicums at numerous solid hospitals in S.F. but the place that stood out was Stanford medical center which is why I applied and went to work there after graduation.</p>
<p>Both a niece and an ex sister in law are RNs , my niece finished her community college program and found a job she really likes at a hospital affiliated clinic and my SIL has been working for a while at a local hospital, ( so she now has her preference for shifts), her degree was also through a community college.</p>
<p>My niece had been attending UI-Bloomington, but after a year or so transferred back to the Wa area when her dad who had been living in Indiana moved. She is planning on continuing school and I expect her to get her NP degree before she is 30 ( she is only 22 now).</p>
<p>While some students stick with their original major, many do not- my oldest for example has a biology degree from Reed college, and while she has worked tangentially in that field, she currently is enrolled in a masters in teaching program.
Something to keep in mind.
( and while she received enough aid to easily pay back loans, if she had owed more, she wouldn’t have been able to consider graduate school)</p>
<p>@DarlingMom - Consolation poster #11 has good advice. </p>
<p>Short answer: What should you do with a high achieving student who wants only match schools? Hug her and tell her you love her and are proud of her.</p>
<p>Is your daughter your oldest and first time going thru this process?</p>
<p>Your daughter has done fine so far and hasn’t given you any reason for alarm or concern. Trust her. You’ve clearly done a good job with her for the early years and she understands what is ahead of her.</p>
<p>Unless you have been doing her homework and plan to accompany her to college, let her set the timeline on the process and choose her schools (within your financial guidelines). </p>
<p>What’s wrong with attending a match school where she is comfortable? I think it is admirable that she has the self-awareness to know that she’d rather excel at a match school and stay sane rather than put herself in a situation where she doesn’t feel comfortable. </p>
<p>Most schools have harder and easier classes anyway. What is the worse thing that can happen? She decides during the 1st year that she wants to be in a more competitive environment and she transfers.</p>
<p>Chances are, if you back off, she will initiate conversations with you about the process, rather than avoiding your imposed plans on her.</p>
<p>You’ve got a good kid. A hard worker who has a plan and a sense of self. You’ve done a good job. </p>
<p>BTW - I told my daughter that it’s fine if she misses her deadlines; she will stay home, get a boring job and help us pack up the house and put it on the market. She doesn’t want that any more than I do and therefore, she’ll take care of her deadlines.</p>