What would you do?

<p>Ok, here is the situation I just went through. I want to know what others think and what others might have done in my situation.</p>

<p>I go to school in Providence and left Friday afternoon to go to Boston for the weekend. I returned on Sunday and found some stuff out of place in my room. The window that I left open was closed, some stuff had been shifted on my desk. Nothing was missing, comp was in the same place, ipod, guitar were both there. Theres another bedroom in my apartment style dorm. I asked one kid in there, he said he had no idea why stuff would be moved. Said there was room checks and they must have moved some things. So I ask the RA, he says there was no room check. At that point I get nervous and say, whats going on.<br>
He told me that both of my roomates from the other bedroom (I live alone in my big room) were busted playing beer pong with 4 other people in my room after having broken into it Friday night. They were caught hauling kegs of beer up through my window and partying loudly in my locked room. Thats the situation, which is incredibly messed up and bothering me. I would like to know at this point how you guys and girls would handle a situation like this. Think about it before I tell you what I did. </p>

<p>I know that they keep pot in the room and alcohol as well. I also happened to know that a fire-code mandated exit sign was stolen from the hallway and kept in their bedroom. I immediately went to the residence director and told them that they had pot in their room, alcohol, and the exit sign which had been stolen. The RA wrote out a full report and they will both most likely lose their housing by the end of the week. I fear for the safety of my room and my property and have lost every bit of respect for the two losers nextdoor. I coudn't be happier that they are both getting kicked out and, with any luck, will be suspended from the school for good.</p>

<p>breaking into your room was a ****ty thing to do, but do they deserve to be potentially kicked out of your school for it?</p>

<p>I think what you did is fine. I can't believe that people would have the nerve to do all of that while you were away...</p>

<p>And as for them getting in trouble, that's the risk you run when you keep all of that stuff in your room.</p>

<p>I would definitely go to the RA if I knew that someone was keeping illegal drugs in my room. If for some reason the drugs are discovered you could end up in hot water instead of them since it is your room and not theirs with the drugs. While it might seem like you're a tattletale to those involved it protects you from possibly facing charges if the drugs are found during a room safety inspection. Telling the RA also will make sure that he/she knows what is going on in case there is some form of retaliation and he/she can make sure to notify the proper person if something happens.</p>

<p>Yeah I hate being a tattletale but I can't just sit back and do nothing in a situation like this. Just to add a little more detail, one kid in the other room was much more involved than the other. I confronted the one who I thought was my friend and told him I knew and I said to tell me every little detail. He told me how the other guy, named Dave, broke into my room and threw a party in there. He told me that he should have stopped Dave and tried to tell him it was stupid, but couldn't stop him once he had his mind set. While they were both busted, I could have made it so both got kicked out. But I decided to go easy on the nicer one, named Devin, because it was not his idea and he would never do something like that. The other kid keeps the pot and alcohol and stole the exit sign, the one who broke into my room, touched my property without me there for the whole weekend. </p>

<p>Like I said, I am normally not a tattletale-type person. In fact, I decided to give Dave one chance to confess and if he did, I would say nothing to the RA's. After finding out everything from Devin, I went to Dave and acted like I knew nothing. I said, "hey some stuff in my room looked somewhat moved. no one went in there this weekend, right?" He lied to my face, and then I let him know that I knew everything and he had just dug his own grave by lying about it right to my face.</p>

<p>Your probably going to find sympathizers here, but you won't find them so common in the real world. What they did was stupid and disrespectful, what you did was just horrible (assuming it gets to higher authorities).</p>

<p>All I did was ensure the safety and security of my property and beloingings. The kid who is responsible, Dave (since I began this post, I had a conversation with the RA, who guaranteed me that Devin would not be held responsible, for which I am glad) will be held accountable for what he did. Simply having a nice little chat about it will solve nothing. You must understand the type of person I am dealing with here. This is a kid who has been suspended on numerous occasions for numerous reasons. He is a compulsive liar with no respect for anyone or anything including myself or Devin. Once confronted after alcohol was discovered in his room, he blamed it on his own roomate, who had nothing to do with the situation. </p>

<p>Like I said, a talk with him would solve nothing and everything of mine would continue to be at risk. I cannot focus on school while constantly worrying about the state of my belongings. I even fear for my own safety at times. Dave is a borderline alcoholic who gets violently angry when drunk and has attempted to confront me and hit me numerous times for no reason at all. I will be sitting in my room and he will walk in and say hateful things toward me and then try to take swings at me while all I say is, "dude, calm down a bit. just take a breath man." Just talking to him has not worked in the past and what happened this weekend was the final straw. Sure, you can say what I did was "horrible" but I would like to see you go through what I have to go through every day.</p>

<p>If I were you, I'd relocate or talk with Devin about politely asking Dave to get a single, elsewhere. That would have accomplished your goal without having to put Dave's future in jeopardy. People won't want to be around you if they know you orchestrated Dave's removal, especcially because a fair percentage of college dorms have alcohol in them.</p>

<p>And its so much more fun to watch people like Dave crash and burn on their own.</p>

<p>Ask for a building transfer. And let the guy hit you then once he does get a restraining order against him.</p>

<p>His other roomates seem fine, he should have to leave -- it just needs to be made clear to Dave that he can't be there with his current habits. If all of your hallmates/roomates agree, it'll be easy to have him quietly removed.</p>

<p>After my own little investigation, I honestly believe that Devin had nothing to do with it. Sure, he should have been the conscience of the situation and done the right thing by stopping Dave, but not everyone is a saint and peer pressure is hard to fight sometimes. So I cleared him of all extra liability. Keep in mind, when the RA bust happened, he coincidentally was in the room. Therefore Devin still runs the risk of getting in big trouble but that was his own doing and has nothing to do with me. I considered him to be my friend and, while I no longer trust him and have lost a good deal of respect for him, I won't let him get hurt by this any more. </p>

<p>As for Dave, while I said I reported the pot and the alcohol, I ended up taking that off the incident report I was filling out and will turn in tomorrow. Maybe it is being soft, but I feel guilty about what I am doing. The exit sign is done and over, because I gave that one up out of my immediate disgust upon hearing about the incident. That one Dave will have to live up to. But I took it a little lighter on him than I originally intended. I don't want him kicked out by my actions. Like someone else said, its better to watch him crash and burn on his own. So hopefully the EXIT sign incident doesn't kill him completely. I'm hoping that, after this whole incident, he will either show a little more respect to us, or just get himself kicked out on his own terms, which is fine by me.</p>

<p>Sounds like you made a better decision now that the shock value of the whole event has passed.</p>

<p>Enjoy the lightshow :).</p>

<p>it's good you're not reporting them for the pot and booze, the breaking in was definitely not cool, and they should fry for that, having a little booze/pot in their room isn't gonna affect you, so you shouldn't snitch on them for that. props for not torching their stuff or flipping out.</p>

<p>It seems that most of you are more concerned about what a loser will think of you than what is right. Why didn't this kid throw the party in his own room? He sounds like a huge trouble maker. From an adult's point of view, you did the right thing. You mentioned that the trouble maker has already been suspended several times. Why protect a guy like that when he is doing things to directly get you into trouble? Sounds like he's got the majority of kids there intimidated into allowing him to act like an overbearing idiot. He probably won't last long there, but you need to cover yourself.</p>

<p>I agree with tanyanubin. Why in the world does it become a bad thing for you to report someone who obviously was trying to get you in trouble by using your room for illegal activities??? While it's true that others' use of pot or alcohol will not directly affect you, their using it in your room COULD and you should not have taken that "detail" out of your report, imo.</p>

<p>Obviously they though he was their friend, otherwise they wouldve stolen his stuff and all too. The OP kinda seems like he got way to angry about this, they threw a party in your room and nothing is missing. Sounds like something one of my friends would do and try to get away with (LOL I could definetly see myself confronting my friend and him trying to lie it off those bastards) when I asked, they were having fun relax. What do you mean you have lost respect and trust? You are lucky it was THEM that got into your room and not someone else, who the hell leaves a window open for three days when they are gone??</p>

<p>Anyway man I hope you didnt snitch on them for the pot and alcohol, it really won't make your college career any better and all you are really doing is taking an opportunity away from someone else.</p>

<p>i'm a bit confused at this. the guy tries to get you in trouble by storing drugs and alcohol in YOUR room (keep in mind that if you were caught he would not have been anywhere near in sight trying to help you). and somehow you let him get away with it out of pity? that's just being soft. there was nothing horrible you did. people in society need to start learning the consequences of their actions the hard way because when they get away with crap like this fool has been getting away with they never learn. and you may think he'll crash and burn someday but there's just as good a chance that he won't.</p>

<p>dude, ur obviously a huge loser who has no friends....honestly, why tell on him, ur just a little biotch....i guarentee this "dave" probably gets more pussy than u ever will and ur just jealous</p>

<p>BP, the pot was in THEIR room, not his.</p>

<p>Thanks for the advice everyone. Luckily, since yesterday, the situation has cooled down a bit and tempers have subsided. I wrote Dave a written note late last night explaining how angry and upset I was about the whole thing. Obviously thats a brief summary. The note itself was over 3 pages. But today, he sent me a note back explaining how horrible and stupid he felt and how he wanted to sit down with me face to face and talk things out. We ended up having a very nice, long conversation about the matter and got alot of things cleared up. I told him how, now that he is 19 years old, he will need to face the consequences of his actions. While I blurted to the RA about the Exit sign upon hearing about the whole ordeal last night, I chose not to take things any further. He is already in big trouble and has a meeting with the Residence Director this Thursday. His fate is in his own hands and I don't need the guilt of knowing that I contributed to someone else's downfall. Thanks for trying to keep me sensible and calm last night everyone. Hope nothing liek this ever happens to you guys.</p>