So I’ve been getting into a lot of fights with my parents recently about EDing and paying for college. My dad thinks I won’t get into anywhere good, and that I’ll probably end up “rotting” (in his words) at SJSU. My mom echoes the thought. My stats are here for the reference: http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/1822650-how-am-i-looking-for-my-earlies-will-chance-back-p1.html (I got a 31 in ACT writing, will get an 800 in SAT 2 Chem, and my new SAT 2 Math score is unknown). You can ask for the other schools I’m applying to and/or more info if you need it.
I have very little control over my college application process, and even though my parents say that they aren’t forcing me to do anything, they low key are. My 18th birthday is in April, shortly before National College Signing Day, May 1st. That means my dad can pull out all the money HE saved for me for college and let me take out a student loan. Thing is, he won’t tell me whether or not he’s paying for college until I graduate. Our $280k income bracket is much too high to get any form of meaningful need based aid. Or, I can be a good girl and apply to where he wants me to apply, and go where he wants me to go (“my money, my rules”). Should I go off on my own, do what I want and be slapped with $250k+ in debt (not to mention grad school, yikes!), or should I follow my dad’s path and be miserable and restricted, but be financially secure? I know that these two things aren’t good, and I’m really just looking for the lesser of the two evils.
Where are you actually applying? I think you will likely get into Scripps ED. You can take advantage of the Consortium to take some classes at the other schools. Just suck it up til fall and go off to Scripps.
@intparent This isn’t something I’m going to “suck up”. I’m absolutely miserable knowing that I probably could do better school and major wise. (I even have legacy at USC, and my dad thinks I won’t even have a decent shot). Not to mention, they’re not doing this to my brother, and they’ll pay for wherever he goes, so why do I deserve this? And yes, I know about the finance thing. My parents are immigrants and don’t understand.
Yeah, you’d have to have someone co-sign for $250K in loans. Your earlier thread said you were applying to Scripps, SCU and UMich. Where does your dad want you to apply?
SJSU is a great school BTW. Also, I like your username.
@NavalTradition I know it’s a great school, but I think I could do better. My dad is “making” me apply to Scripps. I’m applying to 7 UCs, NYU, Cornell, CMC, USC, Harvey Mudd, UT Austin, Occidental, and Cal Poly SLO.
Well… then go get a job and try to pay for it yourself. But that is a tough way to do it. Your parents may choose to not fill out the FAFSA, and then you couldn’t even get loans. You can wait til you are 24 to go to college or get married. But I doubt your options would be as good then as they are today.
I don’t know what you expect to hear. The good news is that your dad is willing to pay for college, and you have a chance to attend a school that is part of a great consortium with a lot of opportunities. Is he being totally fair? Nope. Are you taking a glass half empty view? Yup. Many, many students would jump at the chance to attend Scripps with a parent paying for it. Stop looking at what you don’t have, and figure out how to get the most out of what you are being offered.
Well, if you’re applying to Scripps ED, you’re fairly likely to get in with your stats. If you don’t get into Scripps ED, you’re unlikely to be getting into CMC or Mudd, for instance. And that would be ED, so you’d pretty much have to go. Are you cool with that?
If you can’t get out of your dad making you apply in the next couple of days, I suppose you could always deliberately mess up your essay. I don’t know what else to suggest. On the other hand, as I’m sure you know, Scripps would have the advantage of being in the consortium, so there’s that. You’re in a tough situation. Best of luck.
Why do you think you will be “miserable” if you go to Scripps? If there is just one school on the list you are convinced you will be miserable at, try to have a calm and reasonable conversation with your parents about it and why you prefer other schools. But you haven’t given us any reason, you strike me as just not wanting your parents to have any say in the matter. Well that would be nice, but it is a huge amount of money and it happens to be their hard-earned money and a generous gift to you. There is a wide variety of schools on your list. Scripps seems like a fine option to me–certainly better than some of the others. The fact that you are even considering $250K+ in debt just to get your way with your parents makes me think that you have no idea about the financial realities of life. And no, you cannot borrow that kind of money, not even close.
“Thing is, he won’t tell me whether or not he’s paying for college until I graduate.” This makes no sense. Yes, he will be paying for college, because you cannot afford it, unless you have applied somewhere you will get a nearly full ride scholarship. If he doesn’t pay, you won’t enroll. If you don’t like his choices, you might like to investigate whether you could get enough money at University of Alabama and the other schools which give generous merit aid for high test scores. I am not sure whether your scores are high enough to get a decent scholarship from one of these schools or if it’s too late to apply now, but that info is readily available.
@mathyone I never said I would be “miserable” at Scripps, just that I would miserable if I didn’t have any other choices. I don’t have a first choice school, so I would like to browse choices because I’m iffy on commitment.
Poor kids don’t have the ‘parental-choice-school’ default u have. So don’t feel so sorry for yourself.
If u want to decouple your school decision from your parents, then seek paths that enable u to fund the school yourself. If u have high stats, then look to schools that award generous merit money. Merit money is independent of family income.
There are also the service academies (Naval Academy, West Point, Air Force Academy, Coast Guard Academy, Merchant Marine Academy).
There’s also active military service, followed by college funded via the GI Bill. I have a number of relatives spanning 2 generations that took this route.
OP, you have been wringing your hands about this for months and months on different posts. Your dad isn’t going to change his mind, so you need to stop. It is four years of your life, and you are not going to Alcatraz. You have the rest of your life after college to live where you want, attend the grad school you want to go to, work where you want, and marry who you want to. Go get the best education you can at the very good school your dad is willing to pay for.
We see daughters of immigrants out here who are required to live at home during college or only allowed to attend CC. I know one personally who got into Stanford with great FA, and her parents made her attend a low ranked regional university near home.
It isn’t like you have the stats for much higher ranked schools, honestly. You may feel caged, but you can use this to your advantage if you can change your attitude and take a more mature, long view of it. You don’t actually have the right to attend any college you want to, although you seem to think you do. Your dad is under no obligation to pay for any college at all. He has laid out his terms. Take them or leave them. I personally would take them if I were in your position.
I think the best you can do is see if you can switch your ED to RD or withdraw the application if you don’t want to attend Scripps. If you haven’t had a serious discussion about your concerns with your parents, do it now. Maybe you are over-interpreting things they have said. They do have the right to say they will pay for college X and not for college Y, but that isn’t what they are saying. If that’s what they mean, I would make them come out and say it so that everyone clearly understands the situation. The last thing you want is for a miscommunication to keep you from the school you really wanted. I think it’s possible they just wanted you to make some decisions at this point so that you can take advantage of ED.
Quite frankly, while your test scores are good, your GPA isn’t that high and your high school program looks super light to me for a student applying to some pretty selective schools. You have only one year of foreign language and it’s Chinese which I am assuming is your heritage language, after which you drop languages entirely. As an upperclassman, you additionally opted to take two years of “lab assistant” which I am assuming is code word for “study hall” and therefore only really taking 5 classes as a junior and only 3 and two half classes as a senior. There is nothing wrong with doing any of this but I think your chances at the most competitive schools on your list are not good. However, you know your school and I don’t, so maybe there is something I am missing about your program here.
@mathyone, the OP has been fighting about this with her parents for many months. She has talked to them. They are not budging. So she has started yet another thread to try to find a way to change it. It is pretty clear her dad is not budging. And it is his money.
Go to Scripps with the plan to do so phenomenally well you can get acceptance/scholarships to any graduate school you desire. Dress the way you want. Eat what you want. Talk to who you want. Think what you want. And take advantage of an education that can absolutely make it possible for the next education/career/life decision to be your own.
Also, for the next four years make the 70s folk rock song, “Love the One Your With” your theme song. What a beautiful college Scripps is and what a great opportunity you will be afforded being part of one of the best liberal arts consortium in the county! You can be happy, and you can set yourself up for any future you want.