Ye Gods!
HOW on earth do Helicopter parents justify inserting themselves into the lives of their ADULT children? How can they ALSO believe their ADULT children will eventually be able to fend for themselves??
The fact that they paid more for their children’s college education is just an excuse, imho, for this endless meddling!
Unfortunately, this isn’t a new phenomenon.
Observed a few examples of this at some past workplaces. The supervisors/management back then usually told the parents that personnel matters are strictly between them and the employee directly…not his/her parents and the employee concerned told to tell his/her parents to back off or risk being considered an employee lacking in maturity/adult-level of independence with associated negative consequences.
This makes for an interesting story, but I suspect the vast majority of parents are NOT hovering over their millennial age offspring at work. A few outliers getting some press.
The dad here sounds like the stereotypical “stage mom” (think Brooke Shields’ mom who was also her manager, and other examples going back to before “helicopter” meant anything but a type of aircraft). I notice one of the quotes is from someone in acting.
I guess “sports dad” is a thing too but surely not new…wasn’t Tiger Woods’ dad really involved with his career?
Even the office example doesn’t strike me as particularly new. If a parent has a connection, they may well use it. If this was a random thing where the dad didn’t have a helpful contact, well that is new I guess.
Back in the 80s, my stepdad arranged my Yale interview with a dean he knew personally. He came with me, too, though he left the room during the actual interview.
I’ve looked over my kids’ resumes and made suggestions, cover letters too, and coached (one of them) on interview prep (the other didn’t ask). I expect I will be asked to do even that less as interviewing becomes something the kid grows more comfortable with .
I wouldn’t do more than that - advise if asked - certainly wouldn’t contact an employer directly. That’s over the top.
My mother has met one of my bosses once (we just happened to run in to each other out of the office and I introduced them). I’m not even sure if she knows exactly what I do.
My teenage daughter is scared to talk to anyone more than three years older than she is. I hope she grows out of that soon, but I refuse to advocate for her on anything she can advocate for herself on.
A friend of mine works for a large advertising company which had her, and all the managers, attend a “Managing Millennials” class…
In it they discussed that Millennials often take career advice from their parents, are often guided by their parents in their careers, and feel completely at ease – and often EXPECT – for their parents to meet their bosses when touring their child’s work place.
Weird.
How about a parent insisting on sitting in on an employment interview! I said “NO WAY”!
I don’t think it is that common for parents to be super involved with their adult kids careers. I’m sure there are a few nut jobs out there but I don’t think it is the norm.
I do take issue with the idea that there is something wrong with 20somethings asking their parents for career advice. Why would they take advice from another inexperienced young person when their parents likely have gained some perspective over the years.
My oldest is working at a bank. He’s 23. He was first hired as an intern. I have never met his boss. I never intend to meet his boss unless it happens by accident. He does ask my husband and I for career advice. I’m not sure why that would be considered suspect. I worked in finance for a really long time. My husband worked in the technology industry for years. Why would he ask some friend who has only been working for a year if he could ask us?
There’s advice… and there’s simply meddling. Clearly some Millennials and some parents don’t know the difference.
I can’t remember but I am pretty sure my kids didn’t tell me their salaries until after they accepted their first post college job. I think kids are pretty plugged into their friend networks to know the “going rate.” I think they did ask me if the 401k match and the employee contribution got healthcare were “fair.” I can see certain parents who can’t cut the apron strings being overly involved in the process…they are the parents that were always overly involved. Agree there is commentary asked for by the kids and there is meddling.
I’ve seen parents set up careers for their kids. Many parents create foundations for their kids or even companies and make them the CEO of that organization. I know a parent that spoke to someone about writing a recommendation for medical school since he had worked with university for 30 years. This school gets over 10,000 applications. She was admitted. Many new graduates get jobs from family connections. The parents may not be sitting in the interview but that meeting is just a formality since the decision to hire the graduate has already been made based on a parents connections. I know dd’s friends who have landed internships from family connections. For the student that doesn’t have those connections it becomes a disadvantage. Some kids have to send a 100 resumes out and they are lucky to get one call and then there are those where a parent just has to make a phone call and the offer is made.
My daughter started her first internship today. She asked me if I knew any civil engineers and I know two, one the husband of a college classmate and the dad of a kid my kids went to day care with many moons ago (our families were friends through middle school as our kid played hockey together, but I was more involved with his wife). She contacted the kid, she contacted the dad, and got the interview. Well, it turned out the dad didn’t remember my daughter at all! He just hired her because he liked her.
Lot of good I am!
I see nothing wrong with a young adult looking to his or her parents for career advice, e.g. Interview tips, how to dress for a certain workplace, contacts within an industry, etc.
Interference is different. I think it’s rare, but it does happen. I run a summer law clerk program for the firm where I work. It is an 8 week somewhat structured program, and since we have them for such a short time, we tell the clerks before we hire them to work their vacations around the program - no time off during those 8 weeks. Last year, I had a law clerk’s father call in the third week of the program to tell me his son needed the fourth week and most of the fifth week off to go on a family vacation. When I politely but firmly said no, he asked to talk to a more senior partner. The son was 24 years old and withdrew from the program at his fathers insistence because the father didn’t think we were being fair. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.
@twoinanddone – congrats to your daughter. And clearly you helped, even though your daughter got the job on her own. Meddling would have been if you had contacted the kid, then the dad, asked for the interview, and afterwards called to see how the dad liked your child 
“feel completely at ease – and often EXPECT – for their parents to meet their bosses when touring their child’s work place.”
About 15 years ago or so, I noticed recently hired young people giving parents tours of their office and introducing them around. It became increasingly more common. Not the first weeks or months but after a few months or a year or so.
It’s something I’ve never done or wouldn’t think of doing.
Haha my husband has worked at his job for over 20 years and loves giving his parents tours of his office and introducing them to people there (including a boss if around). He didn’t do that for the first 10 years or so but that has more to do with changes at his workplace, I think that one depends on the context of the job, employees and families.
@doschicos I remember take your child (daughter/son) to work day. I guess now it’s take your parents to work.
That’s something I don’t want to get involved in.
If my parents were visiting me, I’d take them to the office if they wanted to go. I remember going on a tour of the office when my father moved to the ‘headquarters.’ It was a cool, historic building and I remember the board room had a secret room for the secretary to take notes during meetings be not be in the room. It had beautiful wood paneling everywhere, stained glass windows, marble staircases. I’m sure my father took my grandfather on a tour when he came to visit.
I don’t think that’s strange to have your parents visit at the office and meet your co-workers. Not at the interview, of course, but once you have the job.
OMG! When I think back to the things I was doing at 24 I can’t imagine having my parents involved like that (and they wouldn’t have thought of doing it). Talk about humiliating …
It might depend on the office environment, but it wasn’t a thing to bring parents in until younger hires did it. There was definitely a dividing line based on age. Never happened at my previous employers either. It is a fairly buttoned down industry.