When YOu just Can't Bring Yourself to do It

Parent Cafe
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<p>Ok... so I have everything on my side: scholarships, a good school, moderately challenging classes/easy classes, plenty free time, and the mental capability to ace everything... but I swear, I just can't bring myself to do it.</p>

<p>You can pay me (and they do), but I think that no matter how much you pay somebody, if something is out of whack, then things fall apart. There's something that just won't allow me to get through school with all the strength that I'm capable of.
You can stick somebody in a good school, but if something's not right, then it's not gonna happen. </p>

<p>I sort of went through this athletically... when the cross coutnry season ended, I had all these years of ability behind me, but I just couldn't bring myself to take a step out the door. Even though it was super easy and I could run for forever and I was really strong... I couldn't do it, not if you paid me.</p>

<p>I think this is sort of what's going on with school now, but I can't think of a reason why? I want to say there's something lacking (maybe I don't have the friends I used to or the same personal relationships), or I don't like my major, or the weather isn't right or there's not as much encouragement, or my diet isn't right... I don't know... I can't nail it to any specific thing...</p>

<p>Does anybody know the feeling I'm talking about, or been through such a period? I figured I'd check out the parents forum b/c students tend to say "**** it and go drink", but I'm just curious if anybody else here has gone through such a period where you just can't bring yourself to do something, even if somebody paid you?? (whether that be studying for today's exam or taking a step for a day's run..)</p>

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<p>That sounds like depression to me, and it's not something to be toyed with. You have access to free counseling as a student. Use it while you can.</p>

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<p>Yes, lots of us go through such periods. But I agree with ctymomteacher, that it sounds as if there is some level of depression and you should definitely take advantage of your campus counseling. For some people, weather time of year can also play a role in this. The solution may be as simple as getting more exposure to sunlight. So, go get it sorted out.</p>

<p>Some of the students who tell you just to go out and drink may, in fact, be self medicating for their own depression. Alcohol will only make it worse, as you must know, or you wouldn't have bothered posting here.</p>

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<p>Okay, when I was reading your post this is what I thought... Sounds like you may be going through withdrawal from the exercise. I promise you that a good run will help you feel better. Since you're a runner that is....</p>

<p>Try going out and running, then if you don't feel better talk to someone or see if you can line up a meeting with a counselor to discuss your feelings. Just the act of movement may help you push through what you're feeling right now. Keep in touch.</p>

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<p>Son #1 just went through something very similar at college. I too thought of depression and counselling, but my first thoughts were what my immigrant family used to say to me when I was young and it happened to me: first, go do something for someone else, preferably someone who is very bad off and really, really needs the help. Volunteering for other has gotten me outof my slump about 98% of the time. Second, change stuff: get outside A LOT (like a major hike) if you've been cooped up, or plan a super dinner party with a bunch of people you sort of know but would like to get to know better - especially fun if they all don't know each other that well either. Third idea was take a long, hard look atwhat you are eating and your physical/sleep levels. It's AMAZING how this affects our moods. Many people have a complete change of heart just by having some protein for breakfast (after living on sugar) !!! Fourth idea was spiritual but that's so different for everyone that I won't go into it....</p>

<p>Just some ideas - my 2 cents. Worked for my son!</p>

<p>PS -alcohol will definitely NOT help!</p>

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<p>Voronwe's absolutely right, but if it is clinical depression, there won't be enough energy to get to those very good things. Get help now.</p>

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<p>I agree that it sounds like depression. You also may have been burning the candle at both ends -- staying up too late, not eating healthfully, not exercising, drinking too much, etc. These kind of behaviors often are typical of freshmen and sophs before they learn how to take care of themselves in the absence of having parents there telling them what to do. You also may be getting sick. The end of the semester is a particularly stressful time -- physically and emotionally.</p>

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<p>"Ok... so I have everything on my side: scholarships, a good school, moderately challenging classes/easy classes, plenty free time, and the mental capability to ace everything... "</p>

<p>I think this can be a problem. Perhaps life seems too easy for you right now. Sometimes too much free time can trigger a mild depression, especially if you are accustomed to being incredibly busy and challenged. I have heard some freshmen feel that college is so much easier than high school (less rushed, less pressure, more pleasant). I'm a teacher and I find that summer break is a time when I can become very low, even though I look forward to it for months. Other teachers say the same. I agree with the suggestion to volunteer. Find a place that really needs you and do some good there. It might lift you out of this blah place. (The exercise suggestion is good, too. Force yourself to at least walk everyday, even if you don't feel like running. Endomorphins or the lack of can really affect a person.)</p>

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<p>I think you are a little burned out. And you also have a case of procrastination. </p>

<p>I'm not surprised some kids are burned out today.Just look on this sight! Kids agonizing over how many ECs or 10 SAT points or will it hurt me if I have 5 instead of 10 AP's!
My advice is that slow and steady works better than tons of caffene and all nighters.Just look as it as training for college. If you are a high school senior you need to move now. Already if you were thinking of popular state colleges the optimal admission period has crested.So just make a goal and start looking at sites and get things done.</p>

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<p>I think you are a little burned out. And you also have a case of procrastination. </p>

<p>I'm not surprised some kids are burned out today.Just look on this sight! Kids agonizing over how many ECs or 10 SAT points or will it hurt me if I have 5 instead of 10 AP's!
My advice is that slow and steady works better than tons of caffene and all nighters.Just look as it as training for college. If you are a high school senior you need to move now. Already if you were thinking of popular state colleges the optimal admission period is here.So just make a goal and start looking at sites and get things done.Steady, persistant.<br>
If you are depressed.And you do sound depressed. You need to talk to someone. If you have a good relationship at home start with your parents.You may find that there is something more behind your feeling of unwillingness to get started. But YOU need to know what it is before you can confront it. Also, you could just be tired. But don't get down.Life is a glorious. You can make a fine future for yourself should you chose the finest Ivy league school or the college down the road. It's all outlook.</p>

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<p>I have no ide what happened. Guess I hit the wrong key at the wrong time.</p>

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<p>Sounds like depression to me! I wish I had half the brains that most of you "smart" students have...but then again, at that age I didn't have the "wisdom" I have now to even know what to do with them! Sometimes the world just seems to pass you by and you haven't made one contribution to it. I think you need to think less of yourself and more at how you can "help" others in this troubled world. For that, I believe you will find the inspiration to make everyday a worthwhile endeavor and look at each day as a new adventure. Just a thought....</p>

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<p>Justplayin104,
You have received sound advice here in terms of seeking help at your school health services center. No one can diagnose you as depressed except a mental health professional. Starting school is a huge adjustment. Even when lots of great things are in place, other things are left behind (friends, family, etc.). The adjustment, all the new stuff, can be exciting for a few months, and then- as is true in all types of significant adjustments, you can just hit a wall where the novelty and fun have worn off a bit, and you are left with a reality which you see more realistically...</p>

<p>While it is important to talk to friends and loved ones if you want to, this does not take the place of seeing a professional.</p>

<p>While in theory it would be nice to be altruistic, physically active, etc, as CTYMOM pointed out above, depressed people often lack energy, and also have a loss of interest in things that are usually fun for them- these are core symptoms in fact..so don't feel like you have to "will these away" or talk yourself into them...at least not until you've spoken with a professional. Good luck.</p>

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<p>justplayin104: I wonder if perhaps it is just the change of scene? I assume that you have just gone to college this year, and have never been away from home for an extended period before? (Correct me if I'm wrong...)</p>

<p>It may be that you are still getting used to the routine of college life, after all those years of high school. Do you feel like you're trapped? If so, go take a long walk and then go to a coffee shop and read a book. It may just be that you're not used to be surrounded by people all the time - and enjoying some time alone may help. </p>

<p>On the other hand, if this carries on for a significant period of time, I echo the advice of everyone above, and would urge you to speak to a professional. The university I attend is incredibly intense, and it's not unusual for people here to have nervous breakdowns come exam time. You should try and get this problem sorted ASAP.</p>

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<p>justplayin104, i'm going through exactly the same thing as you. in fact today, i just got a D on a math chapter test. i couldn't bring myself to pay attention in class because my mind always seems to be somewhere else. i used to spend hours on homework...now i don't even bother with it anymore. i used to be a straight A student, ranked #1 in my class but for some reason, everything just kinda fell apart starting last year. i was fine in the summertime, but now it's back. i don't even have a sense of direction anymore. tonight, i'm gonna force myself to go to work and my shift is from 7-12 midnight (dreadful really). actually, i've given thought to the fact that i may have depression but i couldn't bring myself to see the doctor. i'm worried it would cost much, that i would get talked into taking medication, that the medication would have side effects on me and that i won't be able go back to my normal self again after that.</p>

<p>voronwe offers excellent advice. actually, i signed up to volunteer just yesterday (before i even read this thread) after thinking to myself that helping others could help make me feel better about myself (i did 10hrs/week of community service last year).</p>

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<p>I'm actually one of those who doesn't believe that medication is the answer. I'm not some strange vegan/naturalist/new age believer in natural healing... medicine does have it's place. But for something like depression I've always sort of believed that the problem was because something is lacking in your life: close friends? God? Bad diet? Things like that. </p>

<p>Therefore, the answer wouldn't be a chemical, because a chemical can't take the place of relationships and thus a psychiatrist would be unnecessary. </p>

<p>I remember back a long time ago (like elem./middle school) I was on prozac because - as far as I know- I was a problem child and depression runs in the family. ANyways, I remember going to the psychologist, and he would ask me if I could tell a difference. I couldn't. It didn't change me as far as I could tell. But my parents said "yes, we can notice a difference."
But aren't I living my life, so who cares what they saw/wanted to see... my life hadn't changed and I didn't feel any better or worse. </p>

<p>So this is not a rant; I am looking at this objectively. But I'm just one to believe that something like depression isn't because you were born without the natural Prozac hormone or something, but because something in your life is missing and the only way to fix it is to fill the void with what's missing.</p>

<h2>If you all have another perspective on my opinion, feel free ...</h2>

<p>AngrySchnauzer:</p>

<p>Yeah, it's exactly like that. Thats why whenever i get a high grade or whenevr I'm in shape and have a toned build or whenever I have ability over somebody else, I don't brag anymore or even subtly flaunt it. Actually, I no longer judge people by those standards either.
Am I impressed by people who look hot? Nope, all it takes is a bout of withdrawal/depression that can come over anybody for any reason, and everything is taken away. Same with high grades. Same with athletic ability. That sort of stuff doesn't impress me anymore. Well, to an extent. I don't find it especially or outstandingly attractive.
It can all be taken. And besides, the valedictorian could hate her life (ours hated to be with her family and hated her mom). The guy with the hot body could live under a cloud of worrying about food/body image, and could develop an ED in an instant.<br>
I value peace of mind so much more now than I do all that other stuff. </p>

<p>But Yeah, I definitely agree with you. Forcing and Dragging yourself to work. I just recently quit because I couldn't force myself anymore. One of the first people my zoology professor noted before he began his lecture was advice from his deceased 97 yr old grandfather: Don't rush things (I forget the wording, but that's the idea). From his deceased father: "Don't force things." (People, pets, machines, etc.)<br>
I think they're both right. On idea of forcing things: they don't last, and you're the one that ends up breaking. If I have to force a running/workout routine, I quit. If I have to force work, I quit. And that's why I quit work: because it only lowers your peace of mind.</p>

<p>Oh, and I do volunter 3 hrs/week and with temporary housing for out of town hospital patients. It is cool to do, definitely. I'm much more willing to do that and go to work, and I don't even get paid! I'm thinking of adding another vol. position at the zoo next semester if I have time. </p>

<p>(Sorry about the horrendously long post, but my week is over for Thanksgiving, no more class for 7 days!)</p>

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<p>The fact that at some other point in your life someone felt that you were depressed enough to need prozac suggests that you are particularly vulnerable to other episodes of depression.</p>

<p>Not all mental health specialists prescribe medication; psychiatrists and others can do much more...Including helping you to figure out what is missing in your life.</p>

<p>Seek help, it is very hard to look at one's own situation with true objectivity. Call your school mental health services or some other resource, explain your non-medication orientation, and ask for help.</p>

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<p>Please go to a professional and discuss your feelings and concerns - depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be inherited. Stress, alcohol (it is associated with alcoholism) a death in the family - many things can trigger symptomatic disease. While depressed people may not need lifelong medication, meds can interrupt a depressive episode that can rapidly deteriorate into a lifethreatening situation.
Young adults are the perfect age to have a first episode of major depression which can lead to suicide - please be evaluated - your feelings of sadness and stress may be normal or they may be the first signs of something more severe.</p>

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<p>I can totally relate. I'm in the same situation right now- I used to be a 4.0 kid- Rank #1, prez of a club, xcountry runner, etc. Unfortunately, things had to hit rock bottom for me during this last quarter (AND I'M A JUNIOR!!!!) The best I could possibly get this semester is a 3.0-3.5 w/ my CC classes woven in. I have an appt. w/ a shrink on Monday. Hmm...</p>

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<p>Definitely post back and tell what comes of it.</p>

<p>Just curious on two points:
Did any significant change occur (new school, etc?)
And is shrink a derogatory word or is it just archaic? just wond'rin</p>