<p>Here a question for you, which A’s do you want?</p>
<p>An A’s in your classes or an A’s in her breast size?</p>
<p>Question for everyone else:</p>
<p>Will you willing to cut your studies time in exchange to sleep with a hot girls/guys?</p>
<p>tell her to put her head in my pants</p>
<p>Well she’s smarter than me for one thing.</p>
<p>She also says that I would have time to have both good grades and devotion to her if I was less inefficient at doing schoolwork.</p>
<p>I really think that she’s being unreasonably demanding, and I’m not saying this from some sort of school work before girls, bros before hos type of mentality. I’m saying this as someone who has been in a relationship for over three and a half years, and who has behaved similarly to the way you describe this girl before.</p>
<p>She might say that if you really loved her you’d blow off your work a little bit to be with her, but you could send that right back at her with “And if you really loved me, you’d want me to do my best.” </p>
<p>She needs to understand that it is not okay for her to be that demanding. I have been that girl in my relationship before and honestly, my demands became so taxing on him that we needed to break up for me to realize that I needed to fix things. I think you need to nip this in the bud right now, and that doesn’t mean you need to break up with her, it just means you need to establish some boundaries out of the gate. That entails talking to her and making her understand that you’ll do your best to be there for her, but that you need to take care of yourself too. She’s asking for you to put her completely before yourself and that is not only unfair to you, but is also a sign of someone who is very controlling.</p>
<p>Now, of course, there are exceptions that could apply. If she calls you with, “My grandma just died,” then by all means, skip class to be there for her if you need to. However, if the problem is more like, “My cat sneezed today” then you need to tell her that you’re sorry she’s so distressed, but that you need to be responsible.</p>
<p>“when your gf asks you to put her ahead of your studies”
you dump the bit ch.</p>
<p>Dump her — I know you will feel like a nerd giving up your girlfriend for schoolwork but look at the deeper problem here. She wants you to sacrifice something that will affect your long term future because of her selfishness. Find someone that thinks it is great that you are working hard in school.</p>
<p>I think everyone is puttign too much importance</p>
<p>OP DUDE</p>
<p>just balance it out… asking people on CC about this is immature, come on man, grab some courage and balance it out, your a big boy to have a girlfriend and keep your studies… u think this is harD? I’d like to see when u have a JOB and have to make MONEY and maintain CHILDREN</p>
<p>so my advice is: BALANCE IT OUT AND GET A HOLD OF YOUR LIFE</p>
<p>damn</p>
<p>people these days</p>
<p>Man up and show her who is boss. Tell her if you can’t study now, you can’t provide for her or comfort her later when you have to earn your own money.</p>
<p>so if you are still together in 5 years… she is going to say “skip work today and hang out with me” ???</p>
<p>does that sound like something you want? no.</p>
<p>I’m guessing most of the responses were from guys.</p>
<p>I agree that academics are a priority. But from what I hear, it’s not about doing poorly in class versus doing great. It’s just spending a little more time with her which may make your grades barely even change.</p>
<p>Honestly, if she’s smart and can support herself, I think you should take her suggestion on managing your time better. Why don’t you guys study together? That way you could get work done faster, spend time with each other, and make more time to do other things together.</p>
<p>Just a suggestion. Keep the balance, like others suggested. She sounds like a nice girl, I think people are thinking she’s wanting to make you sacrifice your grades for her, but that doesn’t seem what she wants at all.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>She thinks I impose on her when we do work together, because the rate at which I do work is slower. I’ve tried to be less perfectionistic and be better at work efficiency, etc. but still.</p>
<p>So she finishes her work and then helps you get yours done. She should be willing to help you out or at least give you ideas of how to be more efficient. </p>
<p>Is she just like, you’re too slow, stop working I want to go out?</p>
<p>Devotion to her does not necessarily mean physical time spent together.</p>
<p>Long-distance couples share the same devotion as you, yet spend like 1/100th of their time together. If your gf was nearly as smart as you claim she is, she’d understand that.</p>
<p>You are simply making up excuses for her.</p>
<p>If she loved you she would not ask you to put her before schoolwork. Even if you love her to death why the hell would you do such a thing? It makes no sense, you’ll both be so much happier if you do well in school. If she can’t understand that you need to go at your own pace, as that what satisfies your need to study, then maybe she doesn’t understand YOU. She should be helpful, if anything. Not condescending.</p>
<p>Also. Maybe you should tell your gf that effeciency does not always mean the fastest time possible. Just bc she whips out that hw in half an hour doesn’t mean she got the same amount of right answers/learned something as the kid who spent an hour on it.</p>
<p>I understand her exasperation with you, to a point. If she can’t get over it then I think you need to get over her.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>But err, she spends 2-3 hours a week finishing a 1-credit Weather and Atmosphere Lab (damn those empirically-derived differential equations with random coefficients!). I spend like 4-5 hours each week on that. </p>
<p>We both are taking 22 credits this semester, and about 16 of those credits overlap between us. Her GPA is 4.00 while mine currently is 3.494 (due to a time management disaster C for an honors chemistry lab last semester, before I met her). I also get easily distracted over long hours over work, and will temporarily stop progress on homework to research some new concept I discovered (over the course of homework) that I found interesting. I am of course trying to better my time management. I’m somewhere above the top 20% of my class at UVA, but she’s probably around the top 3%. </p>
<p>She just seems spiteful sometimes, and wants to “teach me a lesson” for a mess-up or a mistake. And yet at other times she’s super-sweet, and she’s incredibly helpful to my work and my morale. </p>
<p>Girls are confusing. </p>
<p>(As of late, I’ve become rather attracted to [this</a> song](<a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soDZBW-1P04]this”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soDZBW-1P04).)</p>
<p>If you haven’t committed to spending the rest of your life with her, listening to her is stupid.
If you have committed to spending the rest of your life to her, she’s an idiot. I’de say if you girlfriend asks you to put her ahead of her studies, she’s being selfish and isn’t seeing the “big picture” of your life.</p>
<p>Studies > gf. But if you can balance them out, go for it. Every other reply to this thread has the right reasons as to why choose one over the other.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Amen.</p>
<p>In for the lulz.</p>
<p>Speaking as a female in a long-term relationship with someone in the same school as me, I think it’s unfair for her to ask you to skip class, for whatever reason. No matter how upset I was, even if it was at my boyfriend, I would never ask him to set his studies aside for me. He can only go to class at one specific time during the day, but there are hours upon hours for me to be comforted later. At the same time, I know that if I even really, truly needed him right then, he’d skip class in a heartbeat, and I would do the same. I think the best relationships involve the devotion of each other to be willing to put aside anything else for them, but also the devotion and respect for each other not to ask unless they really need them.</p>
<p>^ Natalie W speks wisdom</p>
<p>BALANCE</p>
<p>gosh people, didn’t u watch the karate kid? or Star Wars?
BALANCE</p>
<p>Well one thing led to another that culminated in a break-up. I think we’ve had like 2 or 3 pseudo-breakups before. For some reason it was easier to accept this time. Maybe because I do need to find someone less demanding and can never put up with this for the rest of my life.</p>