I agree.
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Yeah, I wonder how the CC company handles it since Dad and Mom had the same account number. I hope they don’t give him a new one since that’s a pain.
Are you sure she wasn’t just an authorized user on his account? If so, that would definitely simplify things. And in that case, you using “her” card would be less of an issue.
Ask dad to make you an authorized user and get you a card. That would be easier.
That said, D used my CC with my permission for an entire year while visiting and no one ever asked for ID or checked to be sure who she was.
If your folks were joint or it was mom’s acct, it likely would have already been frozen. My relative who is bank attorney says they scour obits and make sure to close anything if anyone dies.
Thanks for the info. I will look into it.
If it’s a joint card it shouldn’t matter.
@HImom Sadly, merchants never check. My son is walking around with a card with my name on it that I gave him to use recently to get gas since that place only takes Discover for gas. It’s a gas pump, so of course they’re not going to ask. But even so, when is anyone ever asked to show proof of ID for their credit card. These days we don’t even sign anything when we use our cards, especially if you use apple pay or tap.
I would not use a credit card of a deceased person. I am not a lawyer but think it could be considered credit card fraud. I would definitely err on the side of caution where credit cards are concerned.
@MaineLonghorn You might want to take a look at you dad’s credit card along with your mom’s to make sure the numbers are exact(including the 3 digit security codes on the back of the card). Often times, even with joint accounts , the numbers are slightly different so that the one who actually charged something is noted. You might want to just ask your dad to write you a check to reimburse you going forward or do what @HImom suggests and ask him to become an authorized user on his account. Good luck. I know this is a very difficult time for you.
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Ok, I shouldn’t have responded so casually, but I did ask my husband just now who is a tax/estate lawyer and he said that cardmember agreement in small print would have something in writing that would say that no one other than the cardholder can use the card, so in any case, when someone “gives” their card to a kid (or someone else) to use whether living or dead, that they shouldn’t be doing that. In this case since the father is also on the card, it’s not like her father is going to report fraud and no one else is going to report an issue with the card and her mother being dead. No one scours obituaries and contacts the credit cards. It’s up to the families to close the accounts and take care of that, but generally, she should be using her own card, or have her father make her an authorized user and if it’s for purposes related to her mother’s estate, then to keep track of it and the estate would pay her (you) back @MaineLonghorn.
As for different account numbers, it’s usually only American Express that has a different account and 3 digit code. I recently updated all of our card information and every card between my kids and me and husband and me all have the same information (number and card and security code) except Amex.
@MaineLonghorn So sorry about the dog. I’m sure that’s the last thing your family needed right now. 
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Both my Visa and American Express have slightly different numbers and security codes.
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I suspect many/most of us have given our kids or others our credit card to use, whether they should or not, to pay for gas, etc., and the very vast majority have not been prosecuted or otherwise gotten in any trouble.
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So long as you pay the bill there is no crime so no basis for prosecution. The CC agreement is the only thing that prevents this and the only remedy that agreement gives them is right to cancel your card or potentially rescind a benefit you got. Most CC companies have zero interest in doing that.
As far as I’m concerned, “no harm, no foul,” with regard to my letting someone else borrow my credit card, as long as we pay the bill. The issuing companies just want the cards used and bills paid.
When the person the card is issued to dies, it’s a little more complicated and I wouldn’t use cards issued to someone who has died.
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When my mother moved in with us, in order to keep her landline, the phone/internet/TV bill had to be in her name. I recently noticed it is still in her name, though she has been dead a while. It’s on autopay, the same autopay it’s been on for years, so I am not sure I want to fight their computer and go through the hassle to change the billing name. 
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If it’s in your mom’s name but the auto pay credit card is on your credit card, I would think you should be able to just call customer service and explain that your mom has died and get the name change done. It’s been awhile since any of our parents died but I don’t remember it being that complicated. Good luck.
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My father died in 2002 and I am the executor of his estate and the trustee of his testamentary trust. At the time, I wrote all vendors and financial institutions and insurers and sent a death certificate issued by the state. Nonetheless, he has been getting checks since 2002 from the same insurance company. I merely endorse them into the trust’s after tax account (the trust contains an IRA). I sign my name and put TTEE afterwards and no one has ever questioned. Periodically I send another letter to the insurance company but it doesn’t stop the checks.
Both kids have a credit card from us, which they don’t use, but is for emergencies. In reality, both kids are in a couple and the combined income of the couple is pretty substantial. So, they don’t need it. My son’s Costco card is still on our account, so periodically we tote up what we’ve paid for. I have access to one of his accounts and it reimburses us for what he has charged. He’s thrilled with that arrangement. Someday he will fix it. Right now, he is so busy building his company that he doesn’t deal with extraneous stuff unless he has to.
Here’s a question. Maybe for this thread or maybe for another. My son is now engaged and he and his fiancee are planning their wedding. Long story but she is more or less a self-made young woman. She was a latch-key kid with no attention from her mother. Applied on her own to a fancy private HS and then to a highly-ranked LAC and later to one of the best business schools in the country. The mom will not even be invited to the wedding although a grandmother (with whom she live in HS), and uncle, some cousins will be. But there is no family to pay for the wedding.
In the olden days, the bride’s family paid for the wedding and the groom’s for the rehearsal dinner. These day, kids are paying from some or all of the wedding. My MIL has set aside a decent sum for each grandkids’ wedding. The implicit assumption is that the wedding will take place at her 125 acre farm. We were the first couple married there and almost every couple in the family since has been married there. Beyond that amount, do parents of the groom now kick in? The kids are having sticker shock, especially since they went to business schools where their classmates have invited significant numbers of section-mates to the wedding. This couple is doing well financially. Should we be kicking in? How much?
I figure we would handle the rehearsal dinner (which will be bigger than that as my in-law’s custom is to have a dinner for out-of-town guests). There would also be a Sunday brunch. Do we also handle the Sunday brunch or contribute to the cost of the wedding itself above and beyond what Grandma is already contributing?
It’s really up to each family. In our case, we had each family pay for food for whatever guests they invited who attended. We (B&G) handled everything else, including rehearsal dinner. Others have done different things.
Some folks just give the couple a significant cash gift the couple can use as they choose—toward wedding expenses, housing, whatever.
I’ve never believed the bride’s family is supposed to pay for x and groom’s family y, but each family has to figure it out. Best to discuss sooner than later.
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There is a wedding thread on CC - you may want to post to that.
There is no right or wrong answer - I think you do what you feel comfortable with.
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Thanks. Will look.
Nowadays, there are no more hard and fast rules as to who pays. If you can afford it and you want a nice wedding for your son and future DIL, by all means pay. The amount you pay should be discussed between you and your son. Just remember, your money will be his future inheritance and I don’t see anything wrong with doing some gifting now. And I wouldn’t insist on any condition that the wedding should be held on the Grandmother’s farm unless it’s the couple’s choice.
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