We all went for TwinD1 (DH, me, twin, 2 younger sisters) and then all of us but TwinD1 went to drop off TwinD2 for freshman year. After that, it’s just who we could cajol to come help lug and carry!
For DD18, it will probably be DH, me, Twin1 and younger sis as DD18 and Twin1 will go to the same school. Twin2 works as an RA so she leaves for her school a few weeks earlier.
For son #1, mom and dad. Daughter stayed home with younger sib (age 11) who took it pretty hard when his brother left. For daughter, mom, dad and son #2. Son #1 had to get himself back to school for junior year while we drove 800 miles to drop our daughter off. Now, it’s son #2’s time to go in August, and it will be mom and dad as the others are grown and working.
When we dropped our D off at her college five hours away, we stayed two nights in a hotel in town. The said college had some activities for parents as well as kids during the move-in days. So we attended some parent functions and had fun getting to know the college. Most parents arrived on Fri and left by Sun.
We saw several teary eyes from sons, daughters, siblngs, moms , dads. A lot of hugs. You won’t be the only one with teary eyes. We did not see kids acted embarrassed when their parents hugged them good bye.
If it is not a financial burden to your family, I say, you should all go. Bring younger siblings. Let them experience it. It is a good memory.
College dorm rooms aren’t very big…remember that when you make your drop off plans. If four people from your family show up…and four people from your roommates family show up…it’s going to be mighty crowded in that dorm room!
For our kid 2 hours away, both parents did the drop off. BUT both parents really weren’t in the room at the same time. One was helping schlep the stuff, while the other was in the room. We were there for two days because our kid did the orientation right before classes started. But we stayed off campus.
We left little sister at home with friends.
The kid across country…only one parent went…it was a plane trip. Again, I stayed for orientation, and then another couple of days to visit a friend. I stayed off campus. I helped DD move into her room, took her shopping, and set up her stuff. DH and big brother didn’t come.
Our D college gave students move-in time slots by last name. D and her two roommates have last names that are not close alphabetically. They did not show up at the same time so no crowded moment. We met one parent briefly. In fact, we loved to meet and got to know the parents of both of her roommates but no such an opportunity.
Our D goes to college on the opposite coast. Her freshman orientation coincided with her move-in weekend, during which they also had a parent orientation. Dh and I both went but since we were all flying, and our younger kids started school the day we were flying back, we left them home. We had vacationed out there a few weeks prior to her move-in date (a West Coast vacation planned before she decided where she was going to school), so we stopped by her school with the whole family so her siblings got to see where she was going to college.
I’m a very emotional person and thought I’d be a mess, but the only time I got teary-eyed was during the last part of the weekend when there was a big Mass for all parents and students. I somehow managed to hold myself together when saying goodbye to our D, I think because it didn’t seem real yet. I cried when I got home, went into her bedroom and found a necklace with her initial that she left behind. I wore it every day until it broke. 
I think if you both want to go and it isn’t a logistical hardship, then you should both go. We actually did not go for parents weekend - I asked D if she wanted us to come, but she was coming home s few weeks later for Thanksgiving, plus the weekend was right before her midterms, so she told us not to bother as she wanted to study. If you have to choose and can’t afford to do both, then ask your daughter what she would prefer.
The parent who likes the kid the least.
Drive by, throw the car in reverse with the tailgate open…
Burnout all the way off campus.
Just kidding folks
My son is going all the way across the country, and as you can see from my name, I’m ready for him to be out of my watchful eye for his own good. For that reason, my DH is flying with him for move in day and getting him situated. He will make sure he’s okay, but not worry about it like I would. I’m planning to go see him by myself in November. Would love for us all to go, but there is a mandatory orientation in the middle of the summer for him, so we have to pay for an additional airfare for him, and for Christmas break and tuition is breaking the bank.
Personally, I would not have missed it for either kid. Yup, I was sniffly when I gave them that last hug goodbye. But I really liked having seen their dorm and room, met their roommate, and seen a bit more of the dorm & campus. My kids went to schools that had some activities for parents on the drop off day, which I really liked.
Drop off is a lot of work. Little sibs (and grandparents) are likely to be bored with waiting for beds to be made, clothes hung up, trips to Target, etc. It is often really hot & sweaty work, too.
Since our son’s first semester in college was in a study-abroad program, we got to do the drop off twice! Once at the end of August when we dropped him off at the airport where his group was assembling, and then again in January when he moved into his room on the college campus back here in the states!
With our oldest two, we made it a family affair. The first one, because it was our first to go to college, it was exciting, and it got the younger two excited about college. The second one, we did it again because the first time it was a fun family event. The youngest will only have Mom and Dad because he is going 1,000 miles away from home and it is too expensive to justify.
Also, for the older two, we all helped unpack and do a basic setup of the room (made bed, put clothes away, etc.)and then said our goodbyes, leaving our child and her roommate to get acquainted, rearrange, and decorate.
For all three, one of us went, usually me for the first drop off. For the oldest, younger two needed a parent home for supervision and for the youngest, DH was away. Plus, much easier to fit all the stuff in the van with the back seat down. Other years, only one of us went depending on work schedules. I actually prefer pick-up at the end of the year, to drop off, as he seems more chatty when he has been away and happy to see me/us than when he is tired of being home and looking forward to getting back to school.
@SFBayRecruiter - “Drive by, throw the car in reverse with the tailgate open…Burnout all the way off campus.” I had to laugh at this because that’s actually what happened to my husband! His parents drove him 6 hours for move in day his freshman year at a campus he’d never even visited (this was the simpler days of the 80s). They started having car trouble on the way down, so when they got to campus, my father in law was afraid to turn off the car’s ignition for fear it wouldn’t restart. So, they dumped all of his stuff on the sidewalk in front of the dorm, gave him a quick hug, and left! My mother in law still gets teary talking about how upset she was not to get to go inside and see his room, etc. My husband, meanwhile, was perfectly fine with it. :))
I’m hoping it will be me, husband, and D2 dropping of my D this fall. We need Dad to carry heavy things, D2 to help her sister organize clothes, etc., and me just because I couldn’t bear to miss it.
Yes, D2 helping her sister organize clothes!
Oldest went to a pre-orientation program to meet other females in her major. Mom dropped her off early, went to visit friends in the area and Dad flew in for convocation and the hugs goodbye. A favorite teacher had sent home a ‘university branded’ tissue back, because she knew how my daughter and I are close, especially in the way we approach living life’s challenges. I didn’t need the tissues, because she had found her new home and was beaming!
Middle child will be attending same school two years later. I would like to meet his roommate, but I certainly have enough of a picture of the campus to follow any conversation (if he actually calls or texts more than one word at a time) or give advice during any freshman transition glitch. We have not yet been able to attend a parents’ weekend. Meeting their friends during their college years is more important to me than attending the scheduled events. I very much enjoy the house filling up with high school friends during breaks, watching the growth and development while they are finding their passions.
@mom2and The wealth of information they share on the ride home is priceless.
@SFBayRecruiter Best.Response.Ever.
@mom2and There’s a pick up, too?! I’m just trying to get through drop off. I forgot we’d have to pick D up! :))
@Emmycat Ha! This must be a generational thing. I could totally see my FIL doing this to my husband. L-)