<p>I feel like a lot of people who are unhappy have these awful self-fulling prophecies going on. For example, they'll go to a school event under the assumption they won't meet anyone there, and once they get there, they'll stare at their phone or avoid conversation, and then think to themselves how unfriendly everyone's being because nobody's talking to them. If everyone around you is a jerk, could it be that you're the jerk instead? </p>
<p>For those who think they don't fit the bill, why exactly do you dislike it? Is it because you go to a really small, restrictive and isolated school? Or are you just digging yourself into a hole because the first day of school wasn't the way you imagined it to be? I'd like to know. </p>
<p>As a quick reminder, there are many places both on the internet and IRL that are much better equipped to help you. If you're disliking college because you're depressed, anxious, or suicidal, please seek a professional or loved one--CC is not really an appropriate venue because most of us can't offer the advice or compassion you need. </p>
<p>Thanks for reading. I don't know why I posted this, exactly. Maybe to vent myself (how hypocritical of me) or in hopes of consolidating all these posts. You're certainly not alone, but you're probably going to have to venture beyond your doorstep to find someone. </p>
<p>Just some food for thought, guys. Read it and go, I don’t really care–to be honest, most of these threads are way too depressing and I’d rather not sift through them anyway. We’re not your shrinks, people. </p>
I assume a lot of people with mental illnesses are diagnosed in college, so it’s possible that some of the posters here are dealing with these issues without realizing it. </p>
<p>Also of all the people going to college, the ones that are doing great are not posting here. It is the ones having trouble getting started that post. Most of them just need to wait a bit and then they will find friends.</p>
<p>Eh, it depends. In my school’s honors college, you can choose to join one of six different programs. I regret joining the one I did as everyone in it/on my floor’s a bit more…extraverted than I am. They’re up floor-jousting at 2am (in the hall on skateboards with music blaring) while I’m trying to study/read/sleep.</p>
<p>That isn’t to say I hate college; I just haven’t really clicked with many people yet. If I were feeling this way in December then I’d think I messed up somewhere, but for right now it’s normal to not have a close friend group.</p>
<p>IMHO, many students DO go to college because they think it is a social event. Too few recognize it is hard work.</p>
<p>Once students actually realize that they have to do work or are going to fail, they are going to be bummed unless they have at least as much community support as they had at home, with their family or close friends from HS.</p>
<p>If they can’t get that right away, they can get depressed.</p>
<p>I feel like many students don’t know how to make friends or haven’t had to in years. Many people have had the same friends thoughout middle or high school. Or have made friends sort of incidentally throughout school by being in the same classes everyday with the same kids or by being in some activity with the same kids multiple times a week. Friendships often just happen when you’re a kid and in school and activities, but many students don’t know how to really make friends as an adult, even in an environment that is supposed to be transitional in many ways. It’s not as easy as it was in elementary or middle school but it’s not quite as hard as when you’re an adult in the real world. People have these huge expecations of what college is when really it’s just school and life. Nothing magical happens in college.</p>
<p>Also, I would argue that most kids don’t hate college. It’s just that you don’t hear from those kids because they’re off enjoying their lives.</p>
<p>OP those resources that you provided are nice (I’m familiar with both quite well), however, for college kids, they often aren’t full of people that can give advice from my experience. People come here because the community is composed primarily of college kids and people related to college life. Getting advice from kids in similar to one’s own situation, although no substitute for professional help, can be a valuable resource. I see your point, but I think people posting on here about issues with college and the struggles they have with it shouldn’t be unexpected or unwarranted. Not everyone has loved ones they can go to and sometimes people like to seek help in between therapy sessions. I don’t think it’s a big deal.</p>
<p>Also, on a lighter note, I thought the statement about going beyond one’s doorstep in the same comment with a like to the social anxiety support forum was funny. Gave me some lolz thinking about the annoying paradoxical boundaries that illness has lol.</p>
<p>I think it can be helpful for struggling college students to hear from other college students who have probably overcome the very same problems. I do agree that some of the more recent threads on our forum are indeed sad and somber, but haven’t we all felt like that at one point? Sometimes it just takes someone saying “it’ll be okay; I felt socially award my first year too and now I have tons of friends and was able to go out of my comfort zone” to make them feel better. </p>
<p>However, like the OP said, this site can’t be a substitute for professional you. The people here are very good at helping you navigate that line, which is very useful in itself.</p>