<p>Recently, many people in the late teens or early twenties have posted on CC that they are depressed and that they have a deep sense of loneliness. I have felt the same way for a while (in fact, I've posted on it, I think)...I'm curious, do you guys feel this way? Why do you think many students, particularly at this age, feel lonely/sad?</p>
<p>I don't think it's anything having to do with teenage angst. Most people who post about depression don't seem materially unhappy...in fact, they come across as mature in their posts. Here is why I sometimes feel sad, maybe many of you might agree:</p>
<p>A) The friendships in college are somehow not as close as those in HS.</p>
<p>B) There is much less structure in college (can be good or bad, but you seem alone in a crowd).</p>
<p>C) More of a need to be independent, want to get responsibilities...when I was a teenager, I wanted the privileges of being older. Now, as a middle-class student with conscientious parents, I have to fight to get the responsibilities of an adult.</p>
<p>D) Related to (C), self doubt. Can I cut it out there? There are so many articles talking about how much kids our age underestimate the real world. Sure, these are directed to people who are overconfident...but I think that they can make us underconfident as well.</p>
<p>E) The realization that elite colleges and name brands only matter so much (hell, I go to Princeton so this isn't any rationalization).</p>
<p>This is nothing new. The transition from teenager to adult has always been a difficult one. Redefining yourself can be very painful, especially if you never rebelled as a younger teen.</p>
<p>^^I think the OP is referring to relationships as a whole in college, not just when the individual arrives on campus.</p>
<p>I think the recent posts may relate to how people are becoming more comfortable to expressing themselves by using the internet. After all, we have so many online blogs and forums already. I think forums like this are used to share personal problems more because people are able to offer help from outside the situation.</p>
<p>As for your other points, they seem valid. I think the college process has become much more extreme over the years, competition has increased. I don't think that means that kids are more depressed, however.</p>
<p>HisGraceFillsMe, I'm a senior. I felt most lonely during my sophomore and junior years in college, but there is still some loneliness that is somehow ingrained in me. Maybe it's the stages between moving out and getting married.</p>
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I think the recent posts may relate to how people are becoming more comfortable to expressing themselves by using the internet. After all, we have so many online blogs and forums already. I think forums like this are used to share personal problems more because people are able to offer help from outside the situation.
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<p>Definitely true. Do you think it is because people listen less than they used to? </p>
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As for your other points, they seem valid. I think the college process has become much more extreme over the years, competition has increased. I don't think that means that kids are more depressed, however.
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<p>You're right, depression may be a strong word. But they definitely seem more lonely. Also, I wasn't talking about the admissions process, though that may affect how many people feel. I was talking about life in college.</p>
<p>I have yet to experience more life in college, but I think it depends on which college you go to? Perhaps with larger universities it's harder to make close friends than with smaller colleges?</p>
<p>And no, I don't think people listen less than they used to. Our society/generation has been said to have a shorter attention span, which I agree with, but whenever I am lonely or need somebody to talk to I turn to some close friends.</p>
<p>Another reason for more threads about lonliness in the College Life section is that many students are moving far away from home/friends/family and are experiencing (for many the first time in their lives) feelings of uncertainty and doubt about their future. I myself am moving for college soon and expect to feel lonely since my old high school friends will not be there.</p>
<p>Any time a person makes a major life adjustment like starting college, there virtually always is some stress and depression that occurs. One has to adapt to new situations, meet new people, and develop a different perspective about oneself and one's capabilities.</p>
<p>People have too much time on their hands so they think about BS existential questions. If you're occupied by socializing, work, academics, and other things, you can enjoy successes and not think about stuff that causes melancholy.</p>
<p>Embrace college. Sounds like college will give you the perfect opportunity to discover yourself without the hawk-like stares of your parents scrutinizing your every move.</p>
<p>Take a deep breath and get excited about being on your own. Sure it's scary, but believe in yourself. I bet that you're very capable and intelligent so you just need to not worry about stepping forward.</p>
<p>i think the most depressing part about college is that people learn about themselves, but they learn a lot of negative things about themselves. for example, just today, i was proven that the one thing i always thought i was good at, i'm actually not that great in. what does that say about anything else i do? it's very depressing. your whole self is put into question. you wonder what your purpose is, what you're even good at after all. i'm a nonsmoker, never had a cigarette before in my life.. and on occasions, i've felt the urge for one. i've even had a dream where i was smoking just b/c i was so stressed out. and the things i worry about are usually things i feel like no one else could help me on.. which makes it even more depressing.</p>
<p>What happens in college is that you find out there's a whole world out there, not just your small pond. You learn that there are people your age who are far better than you are at things you thought you were good at. That doesn't mean, however, that you're not good at those things. It does mean that you're now in a more select field, and being good at something may not allow you to stand out at college where it's likely that the field is even more competitive.</p>
<p>For instance you may have been a theater star at your high school plays, but in college may have classmates who are professional actors and went to some of the country's best high schools for the performing arts. You can either hang your head and give up or you can work hard to catch up or you can decide to be happy with being a star in your hometown.</p>
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People have too much time on their hands so they think about BS existential questions. If you're occupied by socializing, work, academics, and other things, you can enjoy successes and not think about stuff that causes melancholy.
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<p>That assumes that the problem is "all in your head." But if the problem is real--you are away from family, have few friends, etc.--then a "work shall set you free" mentality doesn't solve the problem; it only masks it.</p>
<p>I guess this is an old topic but I thought I’d share some of my feelings. I’m a freshman and it’s been a really hard adjustment- and I’m actually even in the same city I grew up in. College just seems very impersonal, with people just doing there own thing, and sometimes I wonder if maybe I just wasn’t cut out for the big city university life experience. A smaller school, friendlier school definitely would have been easier to manage… It can be a little socially alienating here. I found it interesting that someone posted that the adjustment can be harder for people who never really rebelled as teenagers. I was always a “good girl” kind of person, and I went to the same school for a really, really long time, so this has been a tough change. </p>
<p>I’d been thinking about transferring for a while, although things have gotten a bit better since. Anyone else have any thoughts? Do most people go through a phase of wanting to transfer? I know that college is obviously a big adjustment for a lot of people, but it seems like all my friends I’ve talked to who went to other schools are having fabulous, wonderful times and meeting all kinds of great people. I just don’t want to go through 4 years here and not be a well adjusted adult when I graduate.</p>
<p>What I miss the most from home is my close friends who can just do stupid stuff with me all day. Sometimes we would see a movie, go to waffle house until 12, and head home and watch another movie! College has a lot of structure and is very hectic, so I feel life is moving a lot faster, and I don’t have time to fully take in life and enjoy the morning dew.</p>
<p>I think this post was originally started by a Princeton student. Some students have jumped through all the hoops required (by their parents, schools, society, etc) in order to 'get to where they are/‘should’ be, etc. Unfortunately, many have lost touched- sometimes from an early age- with what they love. They’ve traded their creative impulses and time to reflect, know themselves and what they want,love etc for the outside influences, schedules, academic hoops,etc etc. THAT can be depressing- a loss of self-that many parents do not consider when they are scheduling their young children for every ‘enhancing activity’ they can find, pushing them to take the ‘right’ courses, etc.</p>
<p>THAT is my two cents on the subject of depression. College can uncover a sense of disconnect (with Self) that has been happening for years.</p>