Why I love my strict Chinese mom

<p>Regarding the article, that sounds like a super strict parent, but I wonder what parts had been exaggerated… There was another thread from 4 years ago that was recently resurrected about a “psychotic mother” in California who yells at her child with death threats.</p>

<p>I’ve now realized my mother is scarily similar. She frequently puts me down, calls me swear words when my dad isn’t home, and once almost crashed the car in a fit of hysteria. She literally acts fine one minute and screams at me the next, blaming me for every little thing (“why didn’t you remind me of the car keys you worthless piece of ****?!”)</p>

<p>I’m seriously contemplating whether to make a topic about this or not. My mom is not the typical Asian mom. All I can say is, there are only 7 months left before I leave for college, and I am very thankful to get away. I’ve heard that when a child leaves the house for college, there is less burden on the parents. It is sad to know there are abusive parents out there but there’s really not much one can do about it…</p>

<p>For those who wondered earlier, yes, the older daughter is a senior in high school this year. The younger daughter graduates in 2014. Oh boy…</p>

<p>[Hopkins</a> School ~ Parent Amy Chua’s latest book](<a href=“http://www.hopkins.edu/podium/default.aspx?t=204&nid=669243]Hopkins”>Parent Amy Chua's latest book | Hopkins School)</p>

<p>Chua will be on Colbert Report on January 25. That should be fun! Gotta give her credit if she handles it well!</p>

<p>Wondering if Dave Letterman is licking his chops:</p>

<p>The Ten Things Amy Chua did to her children:</p>

<ol>
<li>Read them 100 pages of the Encyclopedia Brittanica every night at bedtime</li>
<li>Told them A Brief History of Time was more fun than The Cat in the Hat.</li>
<li>…
5.
etc</li>
</ol>

<p>It is important to remember that Chua’s daughters are Jewish, albeit Reform Jews, and it is therefore in all likelihood that the older daughter’s boyfriend may be Jewish, just like her father.</p>

<p>^Or perhaps the boyfriend is a Presbyterian. What’s your point?</p>

<p>Ummmm I HIGHLY DOUBT all this was for college admissions. These two kids are basically legacies are UC Berkeley, Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Duke, Stanford, NYU. They’re basically in.</p>

<p>And they were not abused. All these attacks on this Chinese-Jewish family are out of fear.</p>

<p>At least the two girls aren’t pregnant, doing drugs, killing people on the streets, killing teachers, putting this country down the toilet.</p>

<p>And Sophia has a boyfriend. How could that happen if her mother had total control of her life and taking that to an abusive/controlling level?</p>

<p>But maybe it’s good that these headlines and articles are terrifying the American public. It just might be what we need to revamp this country. Might decrease the number of illiterate high school students, spiked rates of teenage pregnancy, teenage violence, decline of culture.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Only the undergraduate college is counted toward legacy and counting parent and grandparent it can at most be 6. You’ve listed 7???</p>

<p>Just heard that Amy Chua will be “live in studio” tomorrow at 2:00 PM Pacific time on KGO 810 radio (AM) here in the SF Bay Area. Gil Gross, the host of the 2 o’clock show, is a good interviewer, so it should be interesting. I’m fairly sure the listening audience will also be welcomed to call in, too. One can stream the KGO broadcast through the web. Probably worth a listen.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>You have pretty low standards.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Teenage pregnancy rates are down, not up.</p>

<p>I highly doubt it was done for college admissions reasons. Teenage pregnancy rates are still high. And at least they’re being productive in society rather than harming it.</p>

<p>

Aren’t any of these Chinese families…American families? You seem to be breaking things down by Chinese as Chinese and I guess every other ethnicity and group as American. I hope you don’t really think that way - ‘Chinese who happen to be in America’ and then everyone else who’s ‘American’. Isn’t Chua ‘American’?</p>

<p>

If it worked so well why aren’t they still in their home country - why’d they want to come here? Maybe the freedom and flexibility that can be part of parenting here and tends to permeate the American society has contributed to the attraction of others who choose to permanently leave their own country and move to this one.</p>

<p>Regardless, one can place an emphasis on learning, studying, challenging oneself without resorting to humiliating the kid, forcing the kid to physically suffer, etc. which are forms of abuse IMO. I hope Chua’s D who spoke so glowingly in the link doesn’t repeat the process with her own kids someday as tends to happen.</p>

<p>Fear of what, alibaba? That the daughter will stab me with her violin bow?</p>

<p>Regarding the timing of this book - I think it is perfect. The compliant daughter is just old enough to be declared a success but still under the parental roof and therefore under control. We can’t be expected to know the result of her college admissions quest so the book can rake in some dollars before anyone thinks to question why any school would reject the perfect child - perhaps they will accept, perhaps they won’t depending on how they view the controversial Chau hot potato. The book most certainly should be published before Lulu can be considered an adult and cornered by members of the press without the tiger patrol running interference. Don’t hold your breath for any in depth interviews about Sophie and her boyfriend - doesn’t matter if he’s Chinese, Jewish or Albanian - he isn’t real, he’s become necessary for damage control. Do you really think Tiger Mom would leave a potential Levy Johnson alive and breathing? - her book is big news, and turns out the news isn’t all good - so she has to appear normal, not be normal.</p>

<p>FYI the Chua children are not Jewish, if the mother isn’t Jewish the children aren’t Jewish - even in many reformed definitions.</p>

<p>Most importantly in all of this, by cloaking herself in the banner of “Chinese Mother” and not simply accepting her dysfunctional choices as her own personal failing, Chua has single handedly set back the opportunities for other Chinese children to have their accomplishments viewed in a favorable light by DECADES!!! Should my kids show up for office hours at the start of the semester and begin the introduction with a disclaimer that their parents weren’t control freaks on a mission and some reassuring sign that they can think for themselves? If you don’t think she’s harming other kids, read the posts that assume her parenting is uniquely Chinese. Mean spirited people come in all varieties and highly involved parents do too - that she claims to be representative of the entire culture is outrageous to me. She has made it appear that good Chinese children are no more interesting that trained circus monkeys - they do and think and say what their parents tell them to or else. Does anyone think her depiction of the ideal Chinese family is helping anyone? But then again, why would she care that she’s pandering to a negative stereotype - it’s not about doing things for her children, it’s about doing things for herself and making money off of a sensationalized book before her kids can speak for themselves.</p>

<p>Perhaps there should be an anti-Chua campaign in the Chinese community - T-shirts, posters, coffee mugs - all thanking her for making it unlikely that straight A’s, perfect scores and impeccable EC’s will ever get the Chinese teenager any respect beyond - “your mother must have worked really hard!”</p>

<p>^^great post…right on the money…</p>

<p>First of all, I’d hardly call the very limited and mild examples of teenage normalcy she cites as anything substantial. Let’s see, the family laughed together while choosing a movie (which of course had to wait until after she had practiced piano). Wow, that’s shocking and soooo defends mom’s book. (NOT) As for the boyfriend mentioned (and the deliberate cleavage showing in the photo to prove to us she’s not repressed), well that poses a problem for Amy Chua. If Sophia is telling the truth about having a bf, then Amy Chua is sensationalist liar who implied she set certain strict rules when she actually didn’t. In that case, she’s just as awful as we believed her to be when we thought she was writing the truth. </p>

<p>Lastly, maybe I’m too critical, but I found her letter to be pretty unimpressive given her supposed brilliance. Maybe the piano practice interfered with her English writing assignments?</p>

<p>I hate to add to all the bad things already on this kids’ plate but the letter has all the depth of a small rain puddle on a hot July sidewalk. If it was written by Sophie at all (and I question this, I think it sounds more like an adult trying to write like a teenager - publicist, publisher, editor, Amy - who knows who wrote it). </p>

<p>If Sophie did write the letter she better hope legacy carries a lot of weight because her emotionally stunted childhood is revealed.</p>

<p>Wow, the vitriol in these comments! Taking shots at Sophia’s writing, really? What do you expect? Remember she’s a teenager. I’m seventeen and I’ve read plenty of essays written by peers my age, and in comparison Sophia’s writing is quite exceptional. Even compared to essays I’ve read by “top” students, Sophia’s essay is good. I found it very moving at parts. </p>

<p>I can understand being critical of Amy Chua’s parenting, but there’s no need to take a black and white stance towards this family. It’s not like everything they do is evil, for Christ’s sake. It’s probably exactly this perspective that Sophia is trying to refute, which is why she’s focusing on the rosy side.</p>

<p>In my opinion, Sophia sounds mature, sincere, and not at all emotionally stunted. And I certainly hope the quality of admissions officers at most colleges is such that they won’t be willing to reject a student based on a book her parent wrote instead of evaluating her on her own merits.</p>

<p>bchan, I understand your concern. You seem like a lovely person and I’m sure your kids are fabulous individuals. But the stereotype Chua just reinforced has been around for quite a while, and it’s not without basis. Teachers have confided that they’ve had to enact strict no-grade-sharing rules in their classrooms because of the growing Asian population. Too many kids were getting hysterical in class over their less than 100% grades (including engaging in cutting and other self-destructive habits) because not only do some of their parents require them to get an A, but they have to get the HIGHEST A in the class. The children all know who these poor children are, and they also kind of figure out who the really pushed kids are.</p>

<p>So I guess what I’m saying to you by way of encouragement, is that if the people who know your kids haven’t thought they were grade-grubbing little robots before, then they’re not likely to suddenly start thinking so now either. It tends to become obvious which kids are which. You might have a point about admissions people, but hopefully teacher recs highlighting your children’s wonderful and unique qualities will dispel any doubts.</p>

<p>If Amy Chua is the tiger mother and Sarah Palin is the wolf mother ------ who wins in a fight?</p>