Will Someone read my (revised) college admissions essay?

<p>I need help, is it to long?
Is it written properly?
Is it bad?
i need all types of feed back! PLEASE</p>

<p>Vincent van Gogh said, “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” Van Gogh may have been talking about art but his statement could pertain to all aspects of life. If no one took the step out of their comfort zone to do what needed to be done, my life would be much different than it is today. Those people that take the initiative to do something are the people you want in your life, to raise you, to comfort you, to be there for you forever. In my life, those people could be no one other than my grandparents. They are the parents I have left to help me through life.</p>

<pre><code>For me growing up was especially difficult. Our family moved from place to place sometimes with no house to live in, never knowing what was next or if we would have a meal that day. At age eleven, I was left with my two younger siblings after our widowed mother’s loss to cancer. This unfortunately has become a story all too common in recent years for many people of my generation. After our mother’s death, my siblings and I moved in with our grandparents. My grandparents are the influences in my life that have guided me to where I am today.

I know that sometimes bad things happen in order to create good. Obviously, losing a loved one as dear as a mother is tough and I would never wish it on anyone to experience the pain it causes. Questions run through our minds “why her, why me?” etc and it seems that no possible reason could be anywhere in sight. Believing that there is no reason could be the downfall of a person. There is always a reason and I will always look for it. I know that everything happens for a reason and good can always come from the bad. Without my grandparents, it would have been near impossible for me to make it through the death of my mother. For me, it is hard to say but, had it not been for my mother passing and my grandparents stepping up in the role of raising my siblings and me, I would have never received the education and life I have now. I would not have learned the many life lessons my grandparents have taught and would never have learned how to push myself to strive for greatness. They gave me a home and an environment that I could learn and develop as a person.
I do realize that my grades are not in the top of my class but I can guarantee that I have never given it less than my all. I enjoy learning and I enjoy challenging myself while learning. The AP and honors classes I have taken have done the best for me. I enjoyed these classes the most because they pushed me to do my best and use all the knowledge I had. My mother taught me to work my hardest. I watched her work her hardest up until the day she died. She never stopped no matter what; if I could achieve the hard work ethic of my mother, I would consider my life successful. The only difference I have is I would like to get more out of it which would be possible with a good college education.

When I moved in with my grandparents, they taught me to dream and set goals for myself so I could possibly achieve my goals in the future. I remember telling them at a young age that I wanted to go to college. I asked them to not let me be unsuccessful with this goal. I have a dream to make something of myself and achieve success and I know I can do so at Miami University. I want to push myself and get the best education I can. I do not believe it would be possible at any other school but Miami. I have big dreams and high expectations for myself. I would like to create my own path and not fall in the footsteps of most of my family before me. I want the chance to help the world and be a name and face people remember. Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
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<p>do you really think it’s a good idea to post your essay online? anyone could copy it and if the admissions counselors somehow saw it by chance, they might think you copied it.</p>