<p>I'd appreciate feedback. I went a minute overtime as well (shame) so if you have any specific suggestions on what to cut, that'd help for next time. :) Thanks!</p>
<p>PROMPT
Is conscience a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?</p>
<p>MY ESSAY
"While many people would like to think otherwise, the desire for fame and fortune will always be a prevalent part of human nature. Historical figures and literary characters have shown us that unfortunately, the compelling attraction to wealth, power, and fame can tamper an individual's conscience.</p>
<p>Although Andrew Carnegie is known for his philanthropy, his public persona belied the steely figure who operated the steel mills from which he amassed an incredible fortune. Carnegie was harsh and uncompromising in his management of the workers, allowing little rest and low pay for the long hours they worked. Strikes were broken violently and troublemakers eliminated quickly. Many historians believe that Carnegie tried to compensate for his harsh rule by finally listening to his suppressed conscience in his later years. While he did not change the working conditions, Carnegie donated billions to charities. However, despite his philanthropy, Andrew Carnegie was obviously motivated more by money than by his conscience for most of his life.</p>
<p>Additionally in history, conscience has failed to surpass the lure of wealth and power. Several years after Carnegie's rise to fame, Senator Joseph McCarthy also rose to power. Fear of communism was rampant throughout the United States at this time, and McCarthy acted on those fears by accusing government officials of being communist spies. He fed off the public's hysteria to rise to power [I've used this phrase three times, lol] and gaining fame for his fearless dedication to purging America of communists. [ahh, I see the lack of parallelism here! ha] However, many of these accusations were false, and McCarthy's manipulation of the American public for his benefit came to light.</p>
<p>In a literary example, Scarlett O'Hara of Gone With the Wind also chooses money over conscience, although she possesses an understandable reason to. After her formerly-wealthy family loses money during the Civil War and now struggles to survive day by day, all Scarlett sees is money. When she hears that her sister's former suitor is financially secure, Scarlett turns on her flirtation skills and claims him as her own. Because Scarlett knows that her sister would not contribute a penny to the family if she married Frank, Scarlett decides that for the survival of her family, she would have to put her conscience on hold, putting money first.</p>
<p>While Scarlett O'Hara's motives weren't entirely selfish, they involved money and power, just like Andrew Carnegie's and Joseph McCarthy's. Therefore, conscience is not always a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power. Bystepping the reasons and examples as to why, desire and necessity of wealth and power is an inherently human quality."</p>
<p>As I type this, I realize so many things I could have done better, lol. Thanks so much.</p>