<p>One C freshman year in a non-major class is not going to be a dealbreaker. It is late in the semester. I'd just finish it out. </p>
<p>Any chance of acing the final?</p>
<p>
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Should we just support her and let her feel good about withdrawing?
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I DO think you should just support her. But if it were me, I wouldn't frame it as "we support your withdrawing." I would let her know that you are behind her if she ends up with a C or a C- or if she just plain passes the course. And that you are behind her if she drops the course. And if the worst happens and she decides to stick with it and DOESN'T pass, you are still behind her.</p>
<p>That you support whatever she decides. Then let her make the decision without any words ringing in her head about what mom and dad would want her to do.</p>
<p>In our case, when our S was struggling similarly and thought he might fail a course (he didn't have much of an option to drop it, as he needed it and there wasn't likely to be a different teacher for it), we told him that we were behind him. That he should just work to pass the course. Just pass it. </p>
<p>I think that it helped him to know that he would not disappoint <em>us</em> by getting anything lower than the A/B+ that he was used to all through hs and even freshman year of college. I don't think we can overestimate how much value there is to our kids when they know that we will not be disappointed in them if they suffer a setback. That we are proud of their efforts more so than how someone else grades them.</p>
<p>I feel that my D is an adult now, and her decisions are her own. When she asks me if I think she is doing the right thing, I tell her that it is not my decision to make. She must decide what is best & accept that decision as her own (read: you can't blame me! :) ). </p>
<p>If you mean "support" her in terms of being a shoulder to lean on, that's fine. If you mean "support" her in terms of telling her she did the right thing ... well, maybe the days of that kind of support should be numbered. If she decides to drop the course & she wants you to tell her she did the right thing, maybe you could simply let her know that you trust her to make the decisions that are best for her. </p>
<p>As far as grades go, I agree that it is a real shock for many top students when they suddenly find that there is no way every kid at their selective college can possibly get all A's the way they did in high school. In fact, my H & I were actually kind of glad that our D got a B once in high school. You'd have thought it was the end of the world!! In fact, it was an "end," in a way, because it meant she couldn't be a val (even though a couple with that designation actually had lower gpa's than she had ... but no B's allowed). She learned, though, that the world did not end. She worked like crazy to pull an A second semester, so she learned she COULD do it. And because she knew she could deal with less than an A & live to tell, she chose to take a class from a great prof at her college who is notorious for low grades. She LOVES the class & is glad she didn't avoid him just because she might not get a great grade.</p>
<p>Wow, I should have been reading this last week. D is facing a possible C in Calc II (had a crappy math teacher in h.s., but got a 4 on the AP exam and went for the second calc. class so as not to waste time on repeating stuff. She will not major in anything that requires more math than Calc II) My advice was to study hard and do her best. Probable bio or bio/enviro sci major so competing with all the pre-meds but not pre-med. Have I derailed her grad chances? Jeez, it was so much easier back when.</p>
<p>My D is a grader and TA for some first- & second-year Math classes. She reports that a lot of kids who got good grades in high school are now stunned. She in turn is stunned by some of the work, as in, "You call <em>this</em> a proof?"</p>
<p>dragonmom,
Your post brings up the dichotomy in today's education. On one hand, kids get the AP credit and get bumped up into higher level stuff. On the other, they don't necessarily have a solid enough background with just the high school AP curriculum to actually do very well in the higher level stuff. On one hand, they want to accelerate their education. On the other, they want to maintain a high GPA. I don't remember any of those things. In general, people didn't "clep out" of a lot of classes. Graduating early from college was never an issue. Neither was having a 3.5+ GPA. At my son's college 3.2 is considered Dean's List for his major. That means an occasional C is fine, really, as long as you have Bs and As for the rest. I can see the stress, if someone is trying to get into med school or something similar.
What this emphasis on getting all As and Bs creates is not necessarily a better prepared class of students, but a better class of grade manipulators.</p>
<p>Doubleplay--Amen!</p>
<p>Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I spoke to my D today and she made her own decision to withdraw from the class. As Kelsmom said, her decisions are now her own. She heard all the pros and cons and used us as a sounding board, but ultimately she did what she thought was best for her. Was she right or not, I'm still not sure. But, I'm glad she asked for our input and hope that she will continue to seek our counsel.</p>
<p>Well, now the sun will come out (doesn't it already feel like it has, now that the issue has been resolved?). Your D will have a lighter step tomorrow, and you will hopefully feel like a little load has been relieved. I know as a mom, even if you're at a distance, you feel the weight of these decisions on your shoulders, sometimes even HEAVIER, than our kids do. It's surprising how carrying around those 5 to 8 pounds for a few months converts to 50, 75, 100, 125... over the next 20 years! :)</p>