<p>Hey there. IF someone has some spare time, I would REALLY appreciate any response you have to this. I’m really curious what others think of my essays because I never had much practice writing them. Thank you SOO much.</p>
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<p>DBQ</p>
<p>I was shocked at 10 documents; to my knowledge, they don’t usually have that many. I grouped them in a really weird way. Are these okay groupings?</p>
<p>–> Policies of both Countries
–> Economic Prosperity
–> Treatment of Women</p>
<p>Rough Thesis: Between ___ and ___ (the dates), major changes in the policies of Japan and India led to a huge increase in modernization and industrialization in both economies. In Japan, the Meiji Restoration helped the country modernize. In India, British imperialism helped the economy industrialize. Based on the documents provided, political systems, economic output, and women’s rights are all major factors.</p>
<p>I argued that industrialization and modernization caused major changes in both Japan and India. In Japan, the Meiji Restoration helped the country modernize, while, in India, British imperialism helped it industrialize. I discussed this in my “Policies” grouping, which included the document from a British statesman, who wrote a report on production in India, and one or two other documents that I can’t remember at the moment. I may have tied in the first two documents (the charts) just in evidence that the Restoration and imperialism truly helped their economies prosper. I said that a document from a Japanese statesman would have made a good comparison to the British one.</p>
<p>I tied in the chart documents, and one other that I cannot quite remember into the economic effects of industrialization (oh yeah, the one from the Indian describing how hand-spun cotton has lost its popularity). I said industrialization brought in new innovations that allowed for quicker production of cotton. Machines increased production but also decreased the amount of cotton that was produced manually. I went on to address a potential prejudice on the Indian’s part; I said he seemed slightly upset by the lack of manual cotton-production, and I said he may have felt like they were losing their culture due to industrialization. I also put in an additional document here, saying that it would have been helpful to see the levels of hand-spun versus machine-spun cotton in Japan (because it combined both in that chart, while it split them in India’s chart).</p>
<p>Finally, I grouped documents based on women’s rights, which I believe had five documents. One was the account from the women of their industrial experiences. Two were the pictures of Japan and Indian factories (there were many women in Japan’s factory-- none in India’s). One was the Buddhist monk who described how well of women were. The last was the chart comparing women workers (Japan had way more). I basically said Japan had more women workers-- in India, culture may have allowed women less rights (the caste system). I said that the women may have been prejudiced-- they may have exaggerated because of their less equal treatment in society, and therefore a report from a male worker (to compare conditions) would have been helpful. I said the Buddhist monk may have been biased when he said how well-off women were, because his religion put women at a lesser position than men, and he may have felt that women didn’t deserve any rights at all.</p>
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<p>Change Over Time</p>
<p>I chose Latin America. Unfortunately, at first I thought this was a compare and contrast essay (comparing how their religions were then to how they were after being colonized). Luckily, though, to do this, I had to walk through the history of the region, and, in doing so, it was shaped like a Change Over Time.</p>
<p>Rough Thesis: Between 1450 and the modern day, European imperialism had many effects on the native religions of Latin America. In 1450, religions (like the Aztec’s) were animistic and warlike. After Europeans colonized, natives’ religions were mixed with the colonizers (Spain and its Jesuit missionaries tried to convert them to Christianity). As time went on, the native religions became less and less dominant because many of them died of disease and immigration caused other religions to become dominant. Oftentimes, native religions were mixed with foreign ones.</p>
<p>So that’s basically my arguments. Because I thought it was a Compare and Contrast, I was worried that I didn’t compare and contrast enough, so I added a paragraph at the end making major comparisons and contrasts. I focussed on the Aztecs (they were Latin American, right?), and I discussed how, in many ways, their religion helped the colonizers. The bloodthirst upset their neighbors, who more than willingly helped the colonizers conquer Latin America. I discussed how Spain was Catholic, so Catholicism was the major conversion attempt-- Jesuits helped with that. I said the importation of Africans and the loss of native life contributed to the gradual decline in native worship-- instead, a fusion or even foreign religions became dominant. </p>
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<p>Compare and Contrast</p>
<p>This one was so easy. I chose Han China and Imperial Rome (Roman Empire). Unfortunately, I made one huge mistake. Though I only mentioned him once, I said that Justinian helped the Roman Empire expand its borders. No. Justinian was a Byzantine emperor. Do you think this will hurt my score?</p>
<p>Rough Thesis: In the Classical period, both Han China and Imperial Rome were very similar in their policies. Similarities included centralized control, steady expansion, and their eventual causes of collapse. That said, they were also very different. Han China featured an elaborate bureaucracy with positions achieved through civil service exams, centered around Confucianism as a unifying force. Rome, however, had a much lesser bureaucracy and had no unifying religion until late in its existence. </p>
<p>My arguments weren’t very well defined in the thesis, because I wasn’t really sure how to do that in this type of essays. I’m not sure if it was ever well defined, but I know I included all of the above points SOMEWHERE in my essay, even if the paragraphs weren’t well organized. Will this hurt me?</p>
<p>I said both empires expanded considerably, especially under Wu Ti in Han China and Justinian (my major mistake) in the Roman Empire. I made a contrast here in saying that Han China often established tributary systems in places they didn’t conquer directly, while Rome tended to simply conquer territory. I said this monetary payment from neighboring states really helped keep China’s economy strong. I said both empires had centralized, strong control; however, Han China had a much more elaborate bureaucracy, with officials earning positions through high marks on the civil service exam. This exam was based on Confucianism, which helped Han China unify. In the Roman Empire, however, power was more absolute, with a lesser bureaucracy. Furthermore, the Roman Empire, until late in its life, never had a religion unifying its members. </p>
<p>I made an entire paragraph discussing the empire’s collapses. I said overextension of territory, weak leadership, nomadic invasions (the Huns for the Han dynasty, and the Goths for the Roman Empire), and inner rebellions contributed to both empire’s collapses. I said that in both cases, the empires were in collapse long before their official ends. However, I pointed out the major difference that, while Han China completely dis-unified into various warlord-led states, the Roman Empire was split in two in order to keep the eastern half strong. I said, that in this way of thinking, only half of the Roman Empire truly fell then, although the east became known as Byzantium. </p>
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<p>So, above are basically my essays, just not written in essay form. Do you think someone could grade them, based on what they truly think I may have gotten? I’d REALLY REALLY appreciate it. And I’ll return the favor to anyone that grades mine!</p>
<p>Thanks soo much :)</p>
For the add. documents I put 1) A Working women’s perspective in India and 2) The families perspective from either India or Japan. and that was my DBQ (This took about an hour for me)</p>