Worrying about the future?

Student Lounge College Life
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Y’all, I apologize in advance. This is gonna be long.

So lately I feel like I’ve been thinking waaay too hard about everything, which is weird for me because I’m usually too laid back for my own good.

I’m in the 3rd year of college, planning to complete a 5-year master’s in accounting program. Here are the thoughts that have me feeling some type of way:

  1. I’m worried I won’t have any good/close friends after college. One of my suitemates is actually my best friend. We’re extremely close and he’s the best friend I’ve ever had and I love him to pieces…but I can’t shake the feeling that he doesn’t feel the same, despite him reassuring me multiple times. I’m terrified of the thought of losing him. I have one other very good friend and everyone else I don’t expect to remain friends after college. How can I make sure I keep these friendships even after we graduate? How hard is it to make friends after college?

  2. Speaking of social issues…the dating game is not going well. Like I’m not even playing in the game at all. I have never had a significant other, never kissed anyone, obviously never “you know”…I’m worried I’ll be a loner loser forever. I admit my confidence level usually hovers around -50% but I can’t help it. I don’t think I’m attractive and even though I socialize just fine, I’m awful at flirting. And the girls that have shown interest I’m not even remotely attracted to :/. How can I get into the dating game and attract people?

  3. I’m getting super freakin tired of college. I never had that much motivation and drive in the first place, but now I’m just like “GIVE ME THE DEGREE!” lol. A little over a month into his semester, and I’ve already skipped classes like 10 different times. At this very moment, I have 3 different essays and 2 different projects and I can’t bring myself to work. And I’m not even doing anything super distracting like playing video games and stuff…I’m just not doing it. How can I motivate myself?

  4. Lastly, I am worried that I’m about to be miserable work-wise. I honestly don’t have anything I’m really passionate about and I went with accounting because the accounting classes I did in HS weren’t bad and a camp I went to was fun. But now, it’s not even that I dislike it (although I’m not having a blast either)…it’s that it’s getting difficult. I HATE HATE HATE the way my accounting classes are taught and combine that with my lack of motivation and I’m not doing so well. I’m worried I won’t be able to handle the work of an accountant. I have 2 CPA firms looking at me for future internships but I feel like with me kinda struggling in these classes, I’m gonna suck it up as an intern. How can I be sure I’m prepared for a career in accounting?

Thank you for any help! :slight_smile:

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End of sophomore beginning of junior year is tough for many. You are halfway through college but the light at the end of the tunnel still feels a long way off. At the same time you start feeling the pressure that comes with another transition, graduating and finding a job, that has to be planned for. I doubt very much you are alone. A bit of short term counseling might help you through this very likely developmental aspect of going to college, and also make sure that you aren’t dropping into depression.

If you were my son, I would recommend that you make your priority getting your academics under control and focus on doing as well as you can. Yes it is getting harder, so it takes more effort and using the resources that are available to you (prof’s office hours, TA help, academic support, study groups, etc.) may help. Since you are at college, doing well academically is going to have a huge impact on your overall self-esteem. Your ability to pull up your bootstraps now, find some motivation, is a quality that future employers are going to want to see, whether or not you end up working in accounting. It is hard to maintain effort when the reward isn’t immediate, but that is one of the qualities that separates successful people from the rest.

Try to find a positive future outlook. The fact that you have some possible internship opportunities is great. You aren’t expected to know the job as an intern. You are an intern to learn how what you a studying in colllege is applied to the real world. Your career center may have some resources to help you focus positively on the future.

You are still young and have a lot to learn about relationships. Don’t waste time anticipating the loss (in two years) of your best friend, but rather enjoy the relationship that you have today. If it is going to last, it will last through effort on both your parts. Unless you live in one place for your life and most of the people there don’t move around, you are going to start and stop many relationships in your lifetime. Some will continue over the long term and others will melt once there is no proximity. It is one of the less pleasant side effects of a mobile society. And you will continue to make friends after college, through your workplace, church, community activities, social gatherings, etc.

As for the dating issue, meeting girls is done through the same process as meeting other people. You have to make friends with girls though all the same ways that you have made friends with other men (class, school organizations, social gatherings, etc.) and keep putting yourself out there. Don’t worry about flirting if it doesn’t feel natural to you, and don’t worry about the sex part. When you get there it will be all the more special. Be yourself, talk to girls, and be open to the times when things seem to click.

College is not the end of your life. It is the beginning of your adult life. Do the best you can and you have nothing to apologize for.